Journal of a Dreamer

This Too, Will Pass

2011-12-30T15:23:00.001+07:00

post #418

This Too, Shall Pass

I remember I read the sentence which now I use as this entry's title a while back ago. Even at the time I thought it's a good quote. Just about two weeks ago I came to a situation where I found this saying fit my condition.

At the brink of a new year, I finally have to face the inevitable. A change of project location. Surely, eventually I will move one from this project location, which I have adjusted to so well in these last two years (and several months) of my life. I'm gonna miss the decent sleep I've had since this location is near to my house. I'm gonna miss the Kelapa Gading Mall which can be reached within 10 minutes. I'm gonna miss the sport facilities I can use, the parking spot, internet access, celebrity fitness sessions, and most importantly that someone.

I can't deny that I have accustomed to this very comfortable environment. But as the title suggested, this too, will pass. New Year...New Project...

I can't help but feel a bit melancholic about this place. I'm gonna miss you....

Drowsy December

2011-12-02T14:23:00.004+07:00

post #417

BIG whoaaaaahhhh...
Time flies. It really does. After a year of hibernating period, I finally have the chance to write yet another entry to this blog. As I write, Linkin Park's song, My December is playing. I don't know if I have said this, but I love Chester's voice in this song. The rhythm, lyric, voice...they form a great song which gives me the chill every time I listen to it.

Lot of things have happened in this year. Year 2011 has brought a lot of new experiences, laughter, disappointment, you name it.

Some of my friends get married this year. A good friend of mine has become a father. I'm assigned to a new project, still at the same client (Thank God for this). I just got back from Manila for a training. Philippine is an interesting country. It's an Asian country with Western taste...one thing that really surprise me when I set foot on it was the car steering wheel. It's on the left side. It took me a while to get used to it. One thing that I like is that the majority of the people there can speak English fluently. Some are better than me I guess. Finding church there is as easy as finding musholla in Jakarta. That's the thing about this year. So many things happen, my passion to write has (as I have mentioned in my previous entries) declined....it has been overcome by my laziness...my procrastination.

My inspiration, my muse have also been affected by the little amount of time I can spend on blog walking. Just the other I read a friend of mine blog which she just started to update again. I guess these days people are more into twitter where they can just write a sentence to update what's on their mind, or just to shout out to the world what they think, what they feel that very moment. This actually can be done via blog as well, but I suppose it's a rarity to see a blog which post only contains a short sentence such as "Gosh, I'm so sleepy now. Need coffee, stat."

There are some topics I want to write, but I haven't got the inspiration about how to write them (plus my acute laziness has not been much help either).

But since this is December, I drag myself to write...as in My December lyric,
This is my December, this is my time of the year.

Dunno why, but I love December. Perhaps that imaginary snow, impression of Christmas and holiday season, and also an imminent change of year gives the idea of a new page in life. A new chapter with blank page, ready to be written. A new chapter which offers a promise of a better tomorrow...

Speaking of drowsy, it just stopped raining few minutes ago. A perfect weather to lazying, relaxing...but unfortunately I still have few hours to kill before I can go home...Overall, it's been a great year and I think I owe a thank you to God for all the things I experience in this year. Come next year, may it be better than this one, amen.

Year End Note

2010-12-31T19:32:00.001+07:00

post #416

Hmmm....last year, I spent New Year's Eve at a friend's house in Gading Serpong...it was last minute invitation and it was awesome....we had BBQ, drinks, movies, games....it was filled with activities till 1 Jan afternoon.The year before that, I guess I went to Willy's house along with some pals....The year before that....I guess (if my memory still works OK) we were stuck in front of Gading Mall exactly at midnite, when the fireworks show started. It was raining lightly...a very romantic setting, just that the three of us that were in the carr were all guys...we're on our way to Bowo's place...lolll...Going back further, I think I spent New Year's eve in 2006 at Happy Puppy.

This year...no plan. Just blank. Either I'm too tired with the work...I had to cancel some of my leave plan since there were some work I couldn't leave behind...or else. I just spent these last days lazying (wow...lazying is actually a word), sleeping, watching movie...And again, uneventfully, today is the last day of 2010. It's just like any other days...aside from the trumpet and the noises.

2010...what accomplishment that I've made in this year? I think in general I can check all points in my resolution for 2010 that I compiled last year as done. Career advancement, checked...Better work location / opportunity, checked...Healthier life style, checked (still need improvement though)...I even got some bonus. God answered my prayer in His time and it was rather surprising timing for me.

For all that, I really wanna be thankful to God. I manage to get through this year (well minus few hours). Thank You for all Your blessings, God!
There are some things that I still need to improve though, hence once again I make my 2011 resolution.

God, you know my deepest desire,
My dreams, my plans, my worries
May them be in accordance with what You have in mind for me
I know that you will give me the best, nothing less
Please give me the wisdom,
Patience and faith
So I can live my life better
Throughout the year of 2011
Amen

What Do You Want From Me

2010-09-15T18:44:00.002+07:00

post #415

Finally got this song. A great song, full with emotions...

Adam Lambert - What Do You Want From Me

Hey, slow it down whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Yeah I’m afraid whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time
And I would give myself away
Oooh once upon a time I didn’t give a damn
But now, here we are so whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see (plain to see)
that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you
(nothing wrong with you)
It’s me, I’m a freak (yeah)
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly
(it perfectly)

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try
But I think you could save my life

Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep comin around
Hey, whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)
Whataya want from me (Whataya want from me)

Just don’t give up on me
(uuuuuuh) I won’t let you down
No, I won’t let you down

(So I) just don’t give up
I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up (It messed me up)
Need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don’t give up I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in, i won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me (whataya want from me)
whataya want from me

Point A Star

2010-09-11T21:32:00.003+07:00

post #414

Just wanna write a short entry. Today I listened to Sonora and it never failed me in reminiscing some good ol' songs back from the day. BSB - I Want It That Way. Then it leapt forward and played BSB - Inconsolable. Anyway...won't be writing about these songs, rather, I simply dedicated this entry for Sheila on 7. Yes, I just listened to their song again, Tunjuk Satu Bintang. It's a mellow, slow song. I just love the drum beat, the bass, and melody. I just LOVE it!

Well, it turned out that I already put this song on my previous blog entry, almost two years ago. Here's the link to it, in case you wonder what I was writing at that time. --> My Sassy Girl
Here's to SO7, one of few Indonesian Band which music I really love.

I like the last line of the lyric,

If dreams come true someday
Beside you always, my days are

Evening Trip Down Memory Lane

2010-09-10T20:50:00.000+07:00

post #413

Writing another entry again this evening (finally) with Madonna's Dear Jessie accompanying me. Heard this song yesterday on Sonora, after so long. It brought up fond memories and feelings. Some memories that I couldn't remember in details, but the feeling it resurrected was....comforting. I like the song. It's a very good song for my child someday :D

Memories...are designed to fade. Just like what I had written, I might not remember all the details of an important event in my life, but I surely remember how it felt. This is also strengthen by the association with other elements during that particular event, i.e. song, place, scent. My senses created a bond with the particular event, hence when I hear, smell, see some element which is the same or resembles, my mind is triggered to 'download' that memory.

Well, this holiday season was different with the last two years. Usually at this holiday time of the year, I'd be in Melbourne, visiting my sister. But not this year. I had already visited her back in March (and played with my gorgeous nephew). I do the usual routine I had done years ago, helping my mom. When I was in store today, I heard songs from Ronan Keating - Life is A Rollercoaster, then Westlife - If I Let You Go.

Boy, these songs went way back. Being there also reminded me of myself, 11 years ago. Similar situation. But at that time it was Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way and Boyzone - All That I Need. Eleven years. I was very young, naive, inexperienced about life. This week has been a reminiscing week. After the Lion's Lunch at Bandar Jakarta, the next day we had lunch at Kopi Tiam. Then on Wednesday we met up again, with David this time, unfortunately Bowo couldn't come. But there's something different, we brought our bf/gf this time. Looking back two years ago, I don't think we'd ever thought that the day would come so fast. The days when the four of us had Sunday Date...hanging around, watching movies, singing at NAV, eating....those are fond memories that will be carved forever in my mind and heart. We ended up our kongkow session with the classic, karaoke at NAV.

I also started to watch Smallville again. I watched season 9. The storyline was...not too far away. I still could catch up though I haven't watched it since season 4 (or 5). Well, no more Lana and Lex, I found it not as appealing as it had been. But I heard from my friend that season 10 (which started this September 2010) will be the last. I thought to myself, finally. It's a final season which is very long overdue. Nine years ago I'd NEVER miss Smallville. Still fresh in my mind how hard it was to get the season 1 DVDs. Kristin Laura Kreuk mesmerized me so badly. But as time went by, we grew apart (now I sound like a drama king...lolllzz).

There were so many images, thoughts, flashbacks running through my mind these last few days. All of them reminded me of times in my life which bring a smile on my face each time I reminisce. I guess it's good to take a trip down memory lane some times. Consider it as a chicken soul for the soul. It's a good way to reflect who I was, what I have become, have I grown, have I become better, what lessons in life I have learned since then..etc... These are then questions we can ask ourselves during the trip. And at the end of it, we may find ourselves rejuvenated, re-motivated, but unfortunately not younger :D

Madonna - Dear Jessie

Baby face don't grow so fast
Make a special wish that will always last
Rub this magic lantern
He will make your dreams come true for you

Ride the rainbow to the other side
Catch a falling star and then take a ride
To the river that sings and the clover that
Brings good luck to you, it's all true

Chorus:

Pink elephants and lemonade, dear Jessie
Hear the laughter running through the love parade
Candy kisses and a sunny day, dear Jessie
See the roses raining on the love parade

If the land of make believe
Is inside your heart it will never leave
There's a golden gate where the fairies all wait
And dancing moons, for you

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

On the merry-go-round of lovers and white turtle doves
Leprechauns floating by, this is your lullaby
Sugarplum fingertips kissing your honey lips
Close your eyes sleepy head, is it time for your bed
Never forget what I said, hang on you're already there

Close your eyes and you'll be there
Where the mermaids sing as they comb their hair
Like a fountain of gold you can never grow old
Where dreams are made, your love parade

(chorus)

Your dreams are made inside the love parade
It's a holiday inside the love parade

Simplicity

2010-08-19T16:38:00.002+07:00

post #412

Because of You

2010-08-19T15:34:00.004+07:00

post #411

Hmmmm..... *long pause
I don't have a really clear idea about what I'm gonna write. It's been a while, my passion to write had faded even more. I just know I want to write, but there are just these vague ideas floating around in my head. Ideas that I couldn't really grasp and pour down in this entry.

Been meaning to write in June, but I spent most of it in Bogor, extremely tired to even think about writing. The first month of Go Live was cruel. There were days when I had to work > 24 hours. Yup, that hectic. But just like what Heath Ledger character, Joker, said in Dark Knight...What doesn't kill you only make you ~~stronger~~ stranger.

Several things that I remember in June were the crazy work, last month of a colleague, sleep in a hotel, and Ne-Yo's song, Because Of You. Well, actually I first heard the acoustic version by Sabrina. A colleague played her song and I liked it instantly. It became my theme song during my stay in Bogor. Another big thing happened in June; watching Wonder Girls mini concert (or should I say, mini case) with a special girl.

After June, come July. The memorable thing in July perhaps was just my Mom's bday. Then.....blank...I couldn't recall any outstanding event in July. Series of days just blended into plain month.

Now...I'm drowsy and almost lost for words to write...so let this short entry mark my comeback...at least for now.

Ne Yo - Because Of You

Want to, but I can’t help it
I love the way it feels,
It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real
I need it when I want it, I want it when I don’t
Tell myself I’ll stop everyday, knowin’ that I won't

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

[Verse 2:]
Think of it every second
I can't get nothing done,
Only concern is the next time, I’m gonna get me some
Know I should stay away from, cause it's no good for me
I try and try but my obsession wont let me leave

[Bridge:]
I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true
Baby, you have become my addiction, I’m so strung out on you
I can barely move but I like it

[Chorus:]
And it’s all because of you (all because of you) [3X]
And it’s all because…
Never get enough,
She’s the sweetest drug

Ain’t no doubt, so strung out [2X]
Over you, over you, over you

Because of you,
And it’s all because of you,
Never get enough
She’s the sweetest drug, she’s the sweetest drug

Chuck

2010-05-30T13:04:00.002+07:00

post #410

Work's been overwhelming lately...no more lite browsing during office hour...heck even no more more browsing after office hour. I was really drowned in work. Went home at almost midnite these last few days. All for the preparation of Go Live on 1st June.

Luckily...I had the long weekend to recharge. Some of my colleagues weren't as fortunate as they had to come to Bogor to have a briefing, which lasted for 8 hours....Well...it couldn't be called briefing...8 hours is not brief :D

Anyway...lot of things happened lately...but the main reason I write this entry is because I just managed to watch Chuck again after..... a year and a half (I think)...the last episode that I watch was Christmas episode of 2008....and now...I got the the rest of season 2 and 3...yippieee....Gosh....it surprised me that I hadn't watched in such a long time. I used to get weekly supply from MS, but after she moved to KL, my supply was stopped.

Anyway...Yvonne was still pretty....Chuck was still funny...and...in season 3, there's a new addition to the team. To my surprise, it was Brandon Routh...the (fail, if I may say so) Superman in Superman Returns. And to make me even more excited, Kristin Kreuk appeared as well from episode 5.

Wowwww....how long has it been? Since the first time I laid my eyes on her in Smallville. It was 2001. Nine years have passed, yet she still looked dazzling. She's not a teenage girl anymore. I don't even really follow news about her since Smallville season.....5 (I think). The last movie of her that I watched was Chun Li (not so good).

Looking her in Chuck gave me that breeze....reminded me of the times when I was such a fan of her. It made me realize that I missed her. I missed her eyes, her smile, her voice, her laughter....I miss those days...my univ days...days when I wouldn't miss Smallville episode....

I miss you, Kristin Laura Kreuk

Bluntly Babling

2010-05-15T00:12:00.000+07:00

post #410

Currently I'm tired, my eyes are begging to be shut; but I just gotta write. I really do. While this momentum lasted. It's been almost a month since my last entry, I was swamped with lots of things. Well..let's get start, shall we?

The Outing.
The outing was great. Tiring, exhausting, yet entertaining, thrilling, and exciting. There's this incident with the taxi that I rode in the morning on my way to the rendezvous site, the office. Got the first taxi quite easily, though it didn't look very convincing...then near Pramuka it seemed that the engine was having some kind of problem. It was coughing....and the driver switched something on and off...but eventually the engine gave up. The driver face was panic and he seemed worried.

There were two thoughts crossed my mind almost simultaneously. My naive, trusting, sympathetic side thought it must be sucked for the driver. He'd lose some money because of this engine problem. He looked a bit panic and upset about the engine, how it gave up on him.

My house-md-doctrin-everyone's-guilty-until-proven-otherwise side thought...darn...lucky I was riding in the morning and I got another taxi quite easily as well. I wondered how would it be if I took the taxi in the middle of the nite....what if the engine problem was fake? The driver seemed ok, but we all knew too well about the saying look could be deceiving. I'd probably be a victim *knock wood...

Well, lesson learned here that we have to be careful and aware at any time...I'd like to think positive, yet I still have to prepare for the negative ones.

Anyhow, I got to the rendezvous point on time and went there by bus...arrived at lunch time, opening, some ice breaking and free time. I spent some of the free time by playing soccer . My shirt was soaked wet due to the humid air. Then went to the villa. My roomie was AG again...hehehehe..The bungalow/villa was great. We had couch, little kitchen, and our own pool. Not like that we're gonna use the kitchen anyway, but still nice.

After taking a bath and relaxing for a while, ma and AG went to the the main dining area to enjoy dinner and the rest of the first day event. As usual, some updates and QnA session with the SEs. Then NJP performance, other updates and then the prime event....Take Me Out...it was hilarious!!

We still needed to practice our project performance so we did. The CMD watched as we rehearsed till 1.30 AM...Yupp...we were that dedicated...to win :D One thing I really hate there was the humidity....It was VERY HUMID. Darnnn...It was night and I was sweating like a pig. I didn't know if beach air was like that...but it was really annoying! (yup with exclamation mark. It was THAT annoying) Went back to my villa after the rehearsal and sleep right away.

The next day we have games. We had trekking in the morning. It was standard..waking through the forest (I think) until we arrived at the beach. There were games there. It's fun...then we went back to the main dining area in the afternoon. We were told to be back at 3 PM because the games would be started at another beach. I went back to my villa...took a bath (againnnnn) then went to take a nap, because the rehearsal took few hours of my precious sleeping time. I overslept and woke up at 3 sth PM and it was raining. I was thinking to skip the game and back to sleep. But there was this shuttle car so I decided to come to the beach. Long story short, arrived there, waited for the rain to stop/get better. The games was we had to build a raft, assign one person to grab as many flags which were put on floaters as possible. It was the only game we played due to the unfriendly weather.

Went back to the villa, took a bath (yes...againnn...you're welcome to count how many times I bathe in a day while I was there) then went back to the dining place. The main event for the second day was project performance, rampak bedug and olympic result announcement (though I already kned the result). The project performances were great....fresh....and very fun to watch. Our project performance kicked ass as well, though we had to make some improvisation due to Fuad's missing costume. It ended well...and came the announcement.

I got MAP voucher for being best player and top scorer in Futsal.
Our futsal team also won vouchers and medals as the champion.
Our olympic team also won vouchers since we were the leading team that won three our of four categories (Futsal, Squash, Bowling). We only lost in Wii
To my surprise, my team in the outing games also won the 1st prize...wowww...yippiiieee
It felt good.....very good (esp getting those voucher...hehehehehe)

Went back to my villa and......

yup....I took a bath, again. Went to sleep afterward.
The morning after, we had our breakfast. Then some free time. I ended up sleeping....while the others went to beach to enjoy snorkeling, water skiing, etc. Ermmmm.... Sleeping and Sweating would make a good tagline for this outing :D

Anyway, we all gathered again at lunch time to hear the announcement for the project performance. As predicted, we won 1st place. Closing speech from CMD, then went back to Jakarta. Arrived at around 6.30 PM. Went back home....ate.....slept....

The week after that was a busy week. One month before go live and I also needed to focus on release 2 development. There was this incident when I drove my mom for her routine medical checkup. On our way back home, I was driving while talking....then out of nowhere there's motorcycle crash in front of the car. I didn't really see what happened but I thought the motorcycle s brushed against each other....the effect was both of them fell down, one of them was somersaulting in the air...It was just like in the movies....luckily I still had a good reflexes. I hit the brake to avoid crashing into their motorcycles....Phewwww.....that was close

Nothing else was quite eventful in that week...as far as I could remember. The next week was busier that I thought. Went to Bogor (finally) to resolve some issues on site. It's quite overwhelming...but we managed to get the issues resolved. Little did I know that that nite I was gonna experience some thing for the first time.

The nite went like ordinary nite. We were tired and wanted to go home. We used project car to go back to AOP HO. On the toll road...there was this Suzuki Carry that stopped on the right lane. The CRV in front of our car tried to brake. Our driver followed....But I saw that the CRV was too close. I thought to myself...Oh Boy, we're gonna hit that car....to my surprise, we didn't. The driver managed to brake inches to avoid hitting the CRV.

I was about to sighed in relief when....*#$&**^%$#$^%&%$^@#%$^!@$%
We were hit from behind, and was the passenger of the third row. I was pushed forward by the impact. My knee hit the 2nd row seat. I looked behind and there it was. Another car. We were in silence for a while. Then driver came out. We did too. I looked at the car that hit us. It was Innova and it didn't look pretty at all. The engine hood was bent. The front grill was severely damaged. The front lamps were broken. And I think the radiator was broken as well because I could see there's water leaking.... I was wow-ed....surprised....it was my first traffic accident. Then the driver and the man (it's middle aged man) who hit us had a conversation....not so long after that a man came out of nowhere and suggested that we move the cars to the left lane because it's dangerous to be on the right lane. We might be hit again by other cars.

We moved the cars to the left lane and it turned out to be that the suddenly appeared man was an illegal tow truck driver. He came with his partner and they intimidated us to come with them...bla bla bla....they're really hot-headed....one of them (the younger one) even took the car keys. But it seemed that the older one saw that there were quite many of us (4 guys), so he focused more on the middle aged man who unfortunately drove alone. I think the middle aged man saw what was coming. He wanted us to stay till his insurance tow truck came...but these illegal tow truck drivers forced us to leave (I assumed because they thought they had an easy prey). The project car driver went in the car and drove away. In a way I felt sorry for that man. He's surely extorted by those guys...geezz...

Lesson learned....be careful when driving a vehicle, esp when you drive alone. If something like that happened, I would settle with the other driver as quickly as I can, they drove away to the nearest crowded area, let say toll gate....

I guess the crash was the highlight of this week. Spent the day by relaxing yesterday...then watching Robin Hood today. Cate Blanchett was exquisite. There's something about her that appealed. Don't know what it is....

Well...I really need to hit the bed now....my eyes are flickering like a lamp needs to be replaced...
So....till next time

Crushed

2010-04-26T21:16:00.002+07:00

post #408

And I was crushed....

David Archuleta - Crush

I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Food Poisoning

2010-04-23T15:38:00.000+07:00

post #407

Being sick is not wonderful. That’s the lesson I learned these last two days. I think I just got my very first food poisoning yesterday. Well…actually I already felt something strange on Wednesday night. My assumption, it was because of the seafood that I ate at Pond Pangandaran. And then mixed with Chococino at Café du Chocolat. Perhaps these two created unwanted chemical reaction in my stomach which led to my food poisoning.

It was terrible. I drove home with exhausted body. I thought it was just like any other fatigue coz of work. But when I got home it got worse. I tried to sleep, but then the fever came. My body was hot (literally). I felt something on my stomach and digestive system, like gas or whatever which made me miserable the whole night. I could barely sleep and when I finally did, it was because I was already too tired with the pain and fever. Not to mention I threw up several times.

Woke up the next morning feeling a bit better, so I decided to go to work. But I still felt not fit…and after eating breakfast it seemed that it’d be getting worse and that I really needed some rest. A colleague was kind and gave me Norit to ease my food poisoning. I took half day off and went home at lunch time. Went to sleep till evening. I think the Norit kicked in. I woke up in the evening and ate dinner. Didn’t really have the appetite, but I had to eat.

After that I went online for a while…then went to sleep again. And today I think I’m much better…thank God. This experience reminded me…when was the last time I got sick? I couldn’t really remember, but I think it was few years back when I was diagnosed with Typhus symptoms. At times like this, it’d be great to have someone to look after me…but even without that person, I managed to survive. Perhaps this self-sufficient thing is not such a bad thing after all. Perhaps I’ve been keeping things to myself way too long…

I asked my friend who also ate at Pondok Pangandaran. One of them experienced similar symptoms, only much lighter, the other two were fine….hmmm…I stick to my assumption that the food there was the cause of my sickness…Anyway….being sick is not recommended. Seriously!!

A Glimpse of Parenthood

2010-04-14T14:33:00.002+07:00

post #406

Just did a blogwalking and it move me to write this entry. The one that I have been postponing since I got back from Melbourne. After visiting my friend who just gave birth, this passion to write rose again, but I got caught up with work (lame excuse :p) and other things.
Anyway there’s a major difference when I visited my sis back in Sept with the latest one. I was so excited the last time because finally I could see, touch, hear, and hold my nephew. Not just seeing his picture which my sis often tag me on FB. The days I spent there mostly revolving around daily activities and my baby nephew, how it’s like to have a life there (non-working life ;p). And I have to say, it’s a very good life.

There’s a song that constantly playing in my mind when I thought my baby nephew. It’s Simply Red – For Your Babies, an old, but very beautiful song. The music and lyric are just wonderful. Come to think about it, baby is amazing. Living in the mother’s womb for nine months, during which the mother could feel every movement her baby made. Every nudge, every kick, even every burp. Perhaps that’s why mother-child bond is generally stronger than father-child.
Few months ago I chatted with my sis and talked about the baby. She said that her whole life would change. When the baby was still her womb, she’d be worried whether the baby had enough nutrition, hoped that the baby would be born normal, without complication or other genetic disorder. When the baby became a child, she’d want her child to grow healthy physically and mentally. When her child became a teenager she’d worried about her son/daughter behavior and choice of friends. When her son/daughter graduated from univ, she’d worried whether he/she would get a good job. Then how about his/her spouse to be? Would he/she have a happy family….and so on.. In short, worried for her baby’s life. I said to her, “Sis, being a parent is a lifetime, 24 7 job”.

How often do we look at baby picture and comment about how cute the baby is. Or when we see someone holding a baby, we often say…”Owww…he/she is such a cute baby”. Little do we know about behind the scene activities of that cute baby. When we have to change the diaper (luckily now disposable diaper is very easy to find), bath, and feed the baby. More than just once/twice my baby nephew cried so hard and one of us would rush, tried to sooth him. Not only that, the feeding schedule was also quite tiring. A lot of things have to be prepared when taking the baby out. Milk, change of clothes, diapers, etc should be on the checklist. These are the things we often do not realize. These are the things parents must do for their baby. Parents have to sacrifice a lot for their baby. They have to put aside their ego, re-prioritize things for the baby. They might even do things they had never thought they could do.

It’s true what people say that being parents is not easy. There’s no school to teach the parents-to-be. There’s no one, fixed, and definitive guideline about how being a parent should be like. There are only inputs from our own parents, friends, other people, books, etc. Parents would eventually decide their own parenting style, hence here we are, unique individuals with vast background and upbringing diversity.

That’s what I experienced on my last trip to Melbourne, a glimpse of parenthood. It’s not easy, but when I looked at my nephew’s peaceful face while he was sleeping, looked at his genuine smile or pout, smell his sweet baby scent…all the troubles were definitely worthy. I’m sure this kind of feeling that parents have for their baby.

Just like these fragments of Simply Red – For Your Babies

You've got that look again
The one I hoped I had when I was a lad
Your face is just beaming
Your smile got me boasting, my pulse roller-coastering
Any way the four winds that blow
They're gonna send me sailing home to you
Or I'll fly with the force of a rainbow
The dream of gold will be waiting in your eyes

Congrats to a friend of mine who just became a parent. You have brought life into this world. I believe you’re gonna be a great parent.
Like I have said in so many occasions, Life is about choices and consequences. If we choose to be a parent, then we should be ready for the consequences as well. Hopefully we will be a great parent too, if we decide to be one.

Nothing On You

2010-04-12T18:29:00.002+07:00

post #405

I love this song instantly when I first heard it on Sunday.
Catchy, nice melody!

Four Seasons

2010-04-12T18:22:00.000+07:00

post #404

Hmmm…Last Saturday was really ‘four seasons in one day’ day. Woke up and chatted for a while, then went to mall to meet some friends. Then we went to our Jr High friend’s house that just gave birth to a cute baby girl. There were four of us. We sat, talked about how times flew so fast. We still could remember the days when we were just Jr High students…but now she’s a mommy. We watched in awe as the little baby was lying fast asleep. Mixed emotions came over me. Just like when I visited my sister and held my nephew for the very first time.

I guess we’re all amazed by the fact that the baby girl was a new life brought to this world. She’s a person, a daughter of our friend. In a way it made us feel old. Come to think of it, yeah we’re not kids anymore. We’re not adolescent anymore. We’re adults now. We stayed there for a while, admiring the beauty of the newborn baby. Then my two other friends came and joined us. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay longer because I already had another appointment, so at 3 .15 PM I bid my farewell.
Arrived at Wisma Indocement faster than I had predicted earlier. I came right on time, met S and registered myself. I called V and she said she’s still waiting for R to pick her up. They arrived at around 4.30 PM, right after the opening finished. In the middle of the event, V told me that she thought she saw a friend back from univ, but she wasn’t sure. Then I looked at the person she’s referring to. To my surprise….I knew him. I asked her if the person she meant was DK. She said yes….WOWWWWW what a small world. DK was my high school friend. One of my close friend in fact. She was surprised as well when I told her that I knew him. I was a bit fuzzy for a while, wondering how they could know each other. Then I remembered that DK took the same major with V and that he’s her senior.

Then after the event we met up and talked for a while. DK brought his little sister. Well not so little anymore since she’d be graduating from her medical school in a year. She became a cute girl. The last time I saw her perhaps when I went to DK house sooooo many years ago. She caught my eyes. Anyway we decided to continue our little chit chat and catching up so we went to GI to have dinner together. We ended up buying Korean food, family package for three for me, DK and his siter. While V and L bought pizza bar. We talked and talked. Reminisced my high school times, compared to my Univ times and my working days. There we were. My friends from various phases of my life, sat at the same table. I was a bit overwhelmed at first, trying to compartmentalize and associate different memories from different stages of my life. I was very thrilled to meet DK…honestly I was lazy to come…but God really had something else in mind and there I was, catching up with an old friend, having a splendid time. There were times when our eyes met and I was just struck. It’s like being pierced. Darn…luckily I kept my cool. We weren’t quite finished yet, but it’s already 10.30 PM (time really flew by so fast when you enjoy it). I had to drive V and L home.

After driving the girls home, I went home. While driving home, I couldn’t stop thinking…its four seasons in a day. In a way it shattered the walls I built to separate the stages of my life. But it was great to meet them, it’s like they could see different sides of me. It was one amazing Saturday!

Tak Ada Yang Abadi

2010-04-05T16:14:00.007+07:00

posting nomor 403

Sudah lama sekali tidak menulis dengan menggunakan bahasa Indonesia, saya jadi merasa canggung menuangkan pikiran dalam bahasa Indonesia. Entah kenapa di dalam benak saya yang bersliweran justru kata-kata dalam bahasa Inggris.

Hmmm...saya coba mengingat-ingat; Tujuan awal (dan utama) saya membuat blog ini adalah untuk melatih diri saya dalam berbahasa Inggris. Setelah lima tahun, tujuan awal itu tampaknya telah tercapai. Hal ini menjadi salah satu faktor pemicu 'kemalasan' saya dalam menulis. Bulan Maret lalu saya tidak menulis sama sekali. Saya sempat menulis beberapa hal di Facebook, namun tidak disini.

Hal kedua yang tak kalah (atau mungkin justru lebih) penting adalah inspirasi. Tahun-tahun sebelumnya, saya selalu merasa ada begitu banyak pikiran yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini. Ada demikian banyak kejadian dalam hidup yang menggugah saya untuk menulis, untuk mengulasnya dari sudut pandang saya. Tetapi dengan seiring berjalannya waktu, dorongan untuk menulis itu seakan memudar. Mengutip lagunya Rossa.. "Kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku...."

Memang benar pepatah yang mengatakan, segala sesuatu ada waktunya. Dahulu saya bisa sedemikian bersemangatnya, menulis beberapa judul dalam satu hari. Minimal satu minggu saya pasti menulis. Namun sekarang, boro-boro sehari, sebulan pun berlalu tanpa goresan tulisan. Hasrat untuk menulis yang memudar ini sempat bersemi sejenak ketika saya membaca blog seorang teman. Dia masih muda, namun dia dapat menuangkan pikirannya dalam blog dengan sungguh menarik. Sayang hal ini tidak berlangsung lama.

Layaknya seniman yang butuh sumber ilham, saya pun butuh sesuatu untuk memberikan inspirasi menulis. Hal ini yang tidak saya punyai saat ini. Ada beberapa ide yang ingin saya tuangkan dalam blog ini, namun (seperti yang pernah saya tulis sebelumnya) ada keengganan untuk menulis. Saya berpikir, nanti saja, sedang tak ingin...atau dalam bahasa Inggrisnya, not in the mood.

Itulah inspirasi. Ia dapat datang mengetuk kapan saja, dan ketika saya tidak membuka pintu dan mempersilahkannya masuk, ia berlalu secepat ia datang. Dan saya hanya dapat terdiam, menanti ketukan berikutnya dari sang inspirasi. Dahulu saya dapat menulis tentang apa saja. Bahkan ketika tak ada hal yang tampaknya menarik (setidaknya bagi saya) untuk ditulis, saya menulis semacam jurnal untuk mengabadikan hal-hal yang terjadi dalam hidup saya.

Setajam-tajamnya pikiran, lebih tajam ujung pena.

Hal ini yang saya pegang ketika saya menulis hal-hal tersebut. Ada beberapa hal yang ingin saya simpan, yang pada suatu waktu di kemudian hari dapat saya lihat kembali, untuk mengingatkan saya. Karena saya menyadari, seberapapun kerasnya saya mencoba, ingatan (seperti halnya hasrat menulis) saya akan pudar. Yang dapat saya simpan adalah kesan, perasaan yang saya rasakan terhadap kejadian atau orang tertentu.

Sebenarnya ada banyak sekali hal yang terjadi pada bulan Maret 2010. Yang paling berkesan adalah liburan saya ke Melbourne. Di sana saya sempat merasakan bagaimana menjadi orang tua, walau hanya untuk sekilas.
Tidak ada sekolah yang dapat mempersiapkan seseorang untuk menjadi orang tua.
Tidak ada buku panduan yang dapat dijadikan pegangan mutlak
Tidak ada kumpulan pasal yang mengatur secara baku bagaimana menjadi orang tua yang baik
Hanya ada satu kesamaan mendasar dari semua orang tua.
Semangat memberi sepenuhnya dan cinta yang seakan tak berbatas kepada buah hati

Bila dipikir-pikir, menjadi orang tua pun ada waktunya sendiri. Waktu yang mempersiapkan seseorang, dan kehendak seseorang pula yang membuatnya mengambil keputusan untuk menjadi orang tua (atau tidak).

Hidup....memang rangkaian keputusan, pilihan, dan konsekuensi yang timbul dari pilihan yang diputuskan. Rangkaian ini tidak dapat diputar kembali dan hal inilah yang membuat hidup begitu indah, penuh dengan kemungkinan yang jauh melebihi bayangan kita...namun di lain sisi, menimbulkan kekhawatiran tersendiri....

Bagaimanapun...tidak ada yang abadi kecuali perubahan itu sendiri.
Ingatan memudar
Orang berubah
Hasrat berlalu
Hidup berjalan

Dan tentunya, blog ini pun tak abadi....
Seperti yang tertuang dalam lagu Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi

Peterpan - Tak Ada Yang Abadi

Takkan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Takkan selamanya raga ini menjagamu

Seperti alunan detak jantungku
Tak bertahan melawan waktu
Semua keindahan yang memudar
Atau cinta yang telah memudar

Reff:
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi
Tak ada yang abadi

Biarkan aku bernafas sejenak
Sebelum hilang

Tak kan selamanya tanganku mendekapmu
Tak kan selamanya raga ini menjagamu
Jiwa yang lama segera pergi
Bersiaplah para pengganti

Reff

tulisan ini didedikasikan untuk seseorang yang telah memberi warna tersendiri dalam hidup saya

Tired Yet Excited

2010-02-22T23:06:00.002+07:00

post #402

We did it...We won our 2nd match....Thank You, God....though it took a lot of patience to get there....but we did it....Tired....yet excited...we advanced to the semi final...yeahhhh....Five goals were enough to put me as the top scorer for the moment....I hope I could keep it up...

Though I hadn't been good lately....You really showed that You are the master of universe...You are omnipotent...Thank You...Let this short entry be a reminder of Your Greatness....

Ash Wednesday 2010

2010-02-17T22:34:00.003+07:00

post #401

Lent has begun.
...... *blank
Lately I've been feeling tired.....where did this fatigue come?
Not to mention...dulll.....it's like I've lost inspiration to write, hence the last few entries were just basically me scribbling....

Was this an end of an era? Just like now....usually the words just came out by themselves as I typed, but now I have to think about them....what am I gonna write....etc...

Anw....today's the Ash Wednesday in 2010. Marked the beginning of Lent. Attended evening mass @St James church with David...It was WOW....hadn't been there for almost a year since it's renovated and it was fabulous...the giant statue...the 2nd floor....it's very grand....

....Well....God I hope I can make it through this Lent with flying mark....too dull and drowsy to write some more...

CNY 2010

2010-02-15T12:00:00.000+07:00

post #400

Happy CNY 2561 to those who celebrates it!

Just a short entry....Had a blast yesterday. Big family gathering...took some pictures, did some catching up....met with cute nephews and nieces....It was fun and refreshing...

Twenty years ago, I was one of them....
Twenty years, seemed like a very distant place, yet time had brought me to the present in blinks of an eye...

Anyway....Happy CNY...May it brings us all prosperity, health, success, and love throughout this year of the Tiger

It happened that this year CNY coincided with Valentine's Day....It's still the same old same old...
so...in the spirit of Tiger and Love....

Cough + Cold

2010-02-10T21:24:00.001+07:00

post #399

Cough + Cold...just the 'right combination' to make my day.
As far as I remember, this was the first time I spent my birthday with almost fever body, light head throbbing, cough, and cold....just greattt...

Perhaps I pushed myself too hard on Monday, then continued to work till late yesterday, then went to a friend's house to give a birthday surprise...hence my condition dropped...

But anyway I'd like to reflect....to be grateful for everything that I had, achieved, experienced....years really flew in the speed of light ;p
As I looked in the mirror when I got my hair cut, I saw a quiet, reserved man...he seemed unwell, tired. His eyes told me everything. Then I thought...hmmm...was this the man I had wanted to be?

Hmmm...so many things happened lately that made my head spin, lost in my own train of thoughts.
One thing for sure I'm grateful for who I am...what I have...what I've become...who I have...
Just a little bit more....

Grazie Dio!
Thy Love is my precious treasure.

With Arms Wide Open

2010-02-09T20:00:00.000+07:00

post #398

Uncle...hmmm...
I am an uncle now.
I have a nephew....this concept reverberating when I looked at the pics that my sis just uploaded.
There they were, a happy family. Their son added the joy they had as a family.
I was just like...... couldn't really find the words to articulate what I had in mind and heart.
A song popped up in my mind....an old song by Creed. It's dedicated for the vocalist's new born son (at the time)...and I think it fits perfectly....

Welcome to the world, nephew.

Creed - With Arms Wide Open

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is gonna change
I closed my eyes, began to pray
Then tears of joy streamed down my face

(chorus)
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, Ill take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

(chorus)
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
WIth arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything
Oh yeah
With arms wide open, wide open

If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
That he can greet the world
With arms wide open

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
WIth arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything
Oh yeah

With arms wide open, wide open

Nothing Else Matters

2010-02-08T23:03:00.003+07:00

post #397

Just a reminder that today, we won our first match against team 4. Quite miraculously I had to say. We're down one person, five vs six persons...We tried to keep up the deficit by pressing and using counter attack. I wasted a golden chance to score, which led to our first goal. The keeper managed to save my shot, hence corner was awarded. From the corner, an own goal was born.

I was being marked intensively by an opponent player. But after the first goal, the pressure was on the team who had more players. Thus they started to attack more...which made some holes on their defense. And I managed to maximize it by scoring a goal...YEAAAHHH!!!!!!

We held on till half time. Two goals lead was something that we weren't really expected. Wowww....We restored our stamina during first half break and then the second half began. I wasn't being marked exclusively and that made me able to score two more goals.....YIPPPIEEE!!!!

I scored a hattrick. Niceee.....although I was tired...I pushed myself...perhaps it's the adrenaline rush which flowed through my veins that shrugged the fatigue aside...for some moments when there were chances....And it was awesome...I converted those chances into two goals...Too bad I wasted few chances...and in the end the opponent managed to score consolation goal.

Nevertheless...we won! 4 -1 was the final score. Five against six, and we won....

The euphoria of scoring....of winning....there's nothing else matters....
Thank You, God...

Hopefully we can play better, get our 6th player...and win the championship....

As for now...I want to lay myself in this bed of euphoria...

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know, whoa
but I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for things they say
Never cared for games they play
I'd never cared for what they do
I'd never cared for what they know
And I know

Yeah!

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Daddy's Home

2010-02-08T15:52:00.001+07:00

post #396

The beat and melody caught me instantly

Usher - Daddy's Home

Usher Baby
I just wanna get your attention
I really wanna be your love in your head
Coz when I got you don’t wanna get some yeah
But girl that’s only if you ain’t scared

[Refrain]
And I won’t knock or ring no bells
You just float bottom up in the air
I’ll get you hot, I know you oh so well
And when I’m walking all that I wanna hear

[Chorus]
Is you say Daddy’s home, home for me
And I know you’ve been waiting for this love in your day
You know your daddy’s home (daddy’s home), and it’s time to play (so it’s time to play)
So you ain’t got to give my loving away
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy

I ain’t gotta do a lot of flexes
Shorty you already know what it is
And girl tonight we’ll gonna do a lot of sexin’
Can’t nobody do your body like this
ohh

[Refrain]
I won’t knock or ring no bells
You just float bottom up in the air
Said I’ll get you hot, I know you oh so well
And when I’m walking all that I wanna hear

[Chorus]
Is you say Daddy’s home, home for me
And I know you’ve been waiting for this love in your day

You know your daddy’s home (daddy’s home), it’s time to play (so it’s time to play)
So you ain’t got to give my loving away
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy (daddy know what you like)
Hey hey hey daddy
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy

Poke it on out poke it out right there
I’m a fall back while you work that chair
Do that damn thing let the neighbors hear

Poke it on out poke it out right there
I’m a fall back let you work that chair
Do that damn thing all I wanna hear

[Chorus]
Is you say Daddy’s home, home for me
And I know you’ve been waiting for this love in your day
You know your daddy’s home (daddy’s home), it’s time to play (so it’s time to play)
So you ain’t got to give my loving away
Daddy’s home, home for me
And I know you’ve been waiting for this love in your day
You know your daddy’s home (daddy’s home), it’s time to play (so it’s time to play)
So you ain’t got to give my loving away
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy (call me daddy babe)
So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy
Hey hey hey daddy

Hey daddy know what you like yeah

The World Is Not Enough

2010-01-28T11:17:00.003+07:00

post #395

These last two days were full with surprises. Just the other night I learned that her sister was my classmate back in univ. I was like....What the.....????!!!
Of all the girls in this city....I ended up meeting a girl whose sister was my classmate.

Number two...I was chatting with a colleague when she told me about 'bule' guy whom she met at her friend's wedding reception. The bule guy wrote something about her. So I checked her FB account and it just happened that I saw a girl on her profile friend list that looked familiar. I browsed her profile and found out that this girl was a forum member that I joined....it turned out that this cute girl was my colleague's cousin...all this time and I just found out yesterday...lolllzz

Talking about small world, huh??
If I thought about it....really...I think we all are connected, somehow, someway....
The world is just not enough

Garbage - The World Is Not Enough

I know how to hurt
I know how to heal
I know what to show
And what to conceal
I know when to talk
And I know when to touch
No one ever died from wanting too much

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

People like us
Know how to survive
There's no point in living
If you can't feel the life
We know when to kiss
And we know when to kill
If we can't have it all
Then nobody will

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

I feel safe
I feel scared
I feel ready
And yet unprepared
The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love

The world is not enough
The world is not enough
No Nowhere near enough,
The world is not enough

Faithful

2010-01-28T11:09:00.000+07:00

post #394

I'd like to share today's sermon which I think is good for us to reflect on.

Today's bible reading was taken from John 2:1-12

In short, it's about the wedding in Cana, the one where Jesus made His first miracle, changing water into wine.

Then the pastor started his sermon. He talked about the wedding, which must had been an important event for the family. Then, it turned out that the wine was running out. It couldn't be good.But God gave a helping hand just when it was needed the most. What would have happened if the family really had run out of wine? The guests would have complained, the wedding wouldn't be smooth...okay,perhaps we'd think...it's just a wedding...worst thing that might have happened was it became a lousy, unpopular wedding...it's not like someone's dying..well...the pastor seemed to have more on his mind about this bible reading than just saving the wedding.

Father Yoyon (the pastor name was Sukaryono, we called him Romo Yoyon) continued. He talked about a teacher who had very tight budget. His monthly salary was minimum and based on his calculation, it'd only enough for him and his family for 20 days. No matter how he re-calculated and managed his salary, it'd only be enough for 20 days. But strange thing happened. He didn't know how, but he got through the month, and the following months. Somehow he managed to get through.

Father Yoyon continued more. We too, often worry about our lives. We want to pay the bills, pay the kids tuition, pay for daily needs, etc...these are important things in life. We need them. And sometimes we found that based on our calculation, it seemed that we couldn't afford it. But just like the teacher managed to get through, we somehow manged to get through as well. As for the teacher; where did he manage to survive the remaining 10 days? Well...it's a miracle made by God.

Just like Jesus turned the water into wine at the wedding in Cana....God turned anything in our lives, change it into something that will ensure we live.

Because God is faithful. Because God is the bridegroom and we, the church, are His bride (referring to the first reading from Isaiah 62:1-5). Then Father Yoyon came to the ending of his sermon. He said, though God has always been faithful to us, human; we on the other hand often cheat on Him. We cheat by looking for other sources of power, we cheat in our behavior...and so on.

Father Yoyon ended his sermon by asking a question for us, the parish, to ponder.
This was what he said, "If you had a spouse or someone you really, deeply in love with;Someone that you give your everything. Then you find out that the person cheat on you, what would you feel?"

Imagine what God feels when we cheat on Him...

-----------
My own personal thought...God is faithful, we just have to have faith in Him. Talking about example, I like Kaka, a Brazilian soccer player whose life is far from gossip and scandal. Young people should look him up as a role model, rather than Cristiano Ronaldo.

I hope this note can be a reminder for us all. Honestly I had goosebumps when Father Yoyon said the line in italic above.

New You (part 2 of 2)

2010-01-08T20:24:00.001+07:00

post #393

Ok, so I have spent some time to look back and reflect.
So what? What next? Is it enough? No it isn’t .

Surely after reflecting, I’d want to change. I’d want to improve. Why? Because I think naturally we, human, have this tendency to evolve. I want more. In a way it’s good. Without thirst for advancement, perhaps we’d still be living in caves . Hence in the beginning of New Year I draft a resolution, while the momentum is still on. List of things I’d like to achieve or improve during the already coming year. I want to create ‘New Me’. Better version of me, just like Windows 7 which is claimed to be the best Windows version so far.

In a broader sense and greater things to accomplish, I might want to change the world. Make it a better place, for you and for me, and the entire human race *quoting MJ’s song :D
Where do I start then?

Well…I’ll start with the man in the mirror. After I look back and ponder, I decided to change. Then I carried out that decision…starting from myself. I can’t just wait, sit back and hope changes will come…Just like Stephen R Covey wrote… you can’t expect a different result if you still do things in the same manner.
Start now.
Start from myself.
Start with the man in the mirror

Michael Jackson – Man In The Mirror

I'm gonna make a change,
For once in my life
It's gonna feel real good,
Gonna make a diference
Gonna make it right

As I turn up the collar on
my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the streets,
With not enough to eat
Who am I to be blind?
Pretending not to see their needs

A summer disregard,
A broken bottle top
And a one man soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me,
Pretending that they're not alone?

A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream (Washed-out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind ya' see
'Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me
(Starting with me!)

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make that..
CHANGE!
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!)
No message could have been any clearer
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
(Take a look at yourself and then make the change)
(You gotta get it right, while you got the time)
('Cause when you close your heart)
You can't close your... your mind!
(Then you close your... mind!)

That man, that man, that man, that man
With the man in the mirror
(Man in the mirror, oh yeah!)
That man, that man, that man,
I'm asking him to change his ways
(Better change!)

You know... that man
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)
Take a look at yourself and then make the change
(Take a look at yourself and then make the change)

I'm gonna make a change
It's gonna feel real good!
Cause I’m
(Change...)
Just lift yourself
You know
You've got to stop it,
Yourself!
(Yeah! - Make that change!)
I've got to make that change, today! Hoo!
(Man in the mirror)
You got to
You got to not let yourself...
brother
...
Hoo!
(Yeah! - Make that change!)
You know - I've got to get
that man, that man...
(Man in the mirror)
You've got to
You've got to move! Come on!
Come on!
You got to...
Stand up! Stand up! Stand up!
(Yeah! - Make that change)
Stand up and lift yourself, now!
(Man in the mirror)
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Aaow!
(Yeah! - Make that change!)
Gonna make that change...
Come on!
You know it!
You know it!
You know it!
You know it...
(Change...)
Make that change

New Year (part 1 of 2)

2010-01-05T22:00:00.000+07:00

post #392

New Year, New You...

Was the main idea that I had when writing this entry. Since I had planned to use two songs, I divided this idea into two entries.

Ok let's start with the first...New Year.
Well in the spirit of new year, allow me to invite you to ponder a few things.
New year...I assumed exactly at 12.00 AM 1 January 2010, most of us, wherever we were, according to our respective time zone, embraced the dawn of 2010.

Fireworks, Toasts, Parties, etc were held to celebrate the changing year. Why did we celebrate New Year at exactly 1 January? Would it be the same if we celebrate it (let say) at 1 February? Of course this happened because of a consensus that involved all human race in this world. It could be considered as 'General New Year', since beside this, there were also Chinese/Lunar New Year, Islamic New Year, and so on.

This (general new year) couldn't be separated from our inherited culture of Roman mythology. January was derived from Janus; which in Roman mythology was depicted as a God with two faces, facing the opposite direction. It's believed that Janus also represented time, since he could see to the past with his one face, and to the future with his other. I won't talk much about Janus, I guess you can do more thorough research if you're interested in it.

I'd like to talk about see the past thing.
Some of us might have done this in the end of 2009. We looked back the things we'd done and achieved.
Mistakes we'd made.
Laughter we'd enjoyed.
Love we'd felt, shared, and been given
Moments we'd cherished in our memory.
All these especially during 2009.

Then we reflected.
We reflected all these things, perhaps compared with the resolution or wish list we had set out in the beginning of 2009.
I think it's good to reflect..to ensure we're on the right track of the life we lead.

By looking back and reflecting, we can prepare/plan for tomorrow. For what's ahead.
By reflecting, we look at ourselves and ask this question, "Am I a better person than I was?"
Then we can set out new goals, new plans based on the reflection we did.

So...let's take a mirror and see...do you like what you see?

Christina Aguilera - Reflection

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart,

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
Whats inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know

Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
who I am inside

when will my reflection show
who i am inside (oooohhhh)

For My Follower

2010-01-03T20:37:00.003+07:00

post #391

This short entry is dedicated for my followers. Yeah, I mean you: fidzz, Richard Gilbertson, nice_phoenix2000, and pedramr83.

I never really promoted my blog since initially it was intended to practice my English. But as time went by, I started to pour out my thoughts into this blog and it seemed that you guys like it (I think :D). It feels very good to know that my writings are interesting enough for other people to read and follow. I feel appreciated.

So....thank you guys ;)
Your appreciation is one of the things that inspire and motivate me to keep writing ;)
Feel free to drop any comments or your own piece of mind. I'd really love to hear from you

Btw, I was curious...How did you guys got to my blog?

First in 2010

2010-01-01T20:44:00.002+07:00

post #390

This entry marks my first (and hopefully many to come) writing in 2010.
10 is even
10 often used to represent perfection
10....

Had a great NYE celebration....it was such a blast, got invited on the last minute....and eventually made it. Agus picked me up and we went to Acay's house. We were the first to come. Then the guys came around 10 sth PM...we started the fire....and the bbq was started....finish at around 12 sth...it was already new year....yeahhhh.....

There were some beautiful fireworks , managed to took the pictures. The moon was shining brightly (It's full moon btw). Then we continued inside the house, played some cards till 4 AM. There was this one person who brought guitar, and we sang along as he played it.

Watching Jennifer's Body...but the DVD wasn't read very well so we went to sleep at around 5 AM. Some already went to sleep earlier, including the host n hostess.

It's a memorable NYE celebration....a good one.

Well..it's new year...hope it'll be better for us all.
May we can achieve our resolution that we have set out for this year.

Circus

2009-12-29T16:54:00.003+07:00

post #389

It was GREAT.
I've never been to a circus before, and last night was my first time. I had this image of how a circus would have looked like...Well...the image itself was built based on my exposure to TV and movies. Anyway, the circus managed to live up my expectation, to some extent.

It wasn't as wow as the ones depicted in movies, but still entertaining. The show was started with candle girl, who demonstrated her flexible body. Next was trapeze performance. Then there was Parrot Show. It's quite funny to see the parrot could count and did some other attraction. Then there was this performance from Tashkent Circus...it's nice. Perhaps the highlight of the show. Then elephants n tigers also put up some good performance. Nice acrobatic moves wrapped in a dance was performed between elephants n tigers.

In general, it's entertaining. Really entertaining...at least for me. I think my colleagues who watched the show with me also felt the same. It's been lunch outside days lately. Yesterday I ate lunch at Baji Pamai, which according to my colleagues meant 'A continuous good feeling'. During lunch time I bought the tickets to the circus. Went home after watching the circus had an interesting chat then went to sleep with a smile on my face.

What a day....Circus....Chat...a pleasant experience :D
Ahh...I just remember one unpleasant experience. During the show, there's someone with smelly feet. They smelt very bad. Darnnn...some times I had to hold my breath to save me from the toxic air.
Other than that...it's good.

During the break between performances, songs from Enrique Iglesias were played. The one that was played the most was Love To See You Cry...So in the spirit of reminiscence...here's Enrique...

Enrique Iglesias - Love To See You Cry

Maybe I just
Wanna touch you
Feel you warm inside again
Maybe I just
Wanna hurt you
The sweetest pleasure is pain

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
It just makes me feel alive

Are you coming
To the moment,
When you know your heart can break?
I'm inside you
I'm around you
I just wanna hear you cry again

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
It just makes me feel alive

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
But it makes me feel alive

You don't know
How much it hurts when you fall asleep
In my arms
And if this dies before the morning comes
I wanna run away
I wanna run away

I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why (I don't know why)
I don't know why

(I don't know why, why, but I love to see you cry)
(I don't know why, why, it just makes me feel alive)

I don't know why
Why
But I love to see you cry
I don't know why
Why
But it makes me feel alive

(I love to see you cry)
(I love to see you cry)

Pop Goes My Heart

2009-12-29T00:33:00.002+07:00

post #388

Hilarious clip from some guys imitating the 'supposed to be real' vidclip in the movie.

Pop Goes my Heart

I never thought that I could be so satisfied,
Everytime that I look in your angel eyes.
A shock inside me that words just can't describe,
And there's no explaining.
There's something in the way you move, I can't deny,
Every word from your lips is a lullaby.
A twist of fate makes life worth while,
You are gold and silver.

[CHORUS]
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
I wasn't gonna fall in love again, but then
POP! Goes my heart.
And I just can't let you go,
I can't lose this feeling.

These precious moments, we have so few,
Lets go far away, where there's nothing to do but play.
You shoo to me that my destiny's with you,
And there's no explaining.
Lets fly so high, will you come with me tonight?
In your dress, I confess, you're the source of light.
The way you shine in the starry skies,
You are gold and silver.

[CHORUS] Repeat x2

A twist of fate makes life worth while,
You are gold and silver....

Stars in December

2009-12-21T22:19:00.003+07:00

post #387

I don't know whether it's because the rain in the morning, or was the pollution in the city getting better (though I highly doubt this one)....but anyway I could see stars tonight. Yeah...when I was about to go home with Elisha, I looked up and......there they were....

The stars were shining, brightly...I could see that...the sky was also clear. Dark, blue, but clear. Wow....I took few moments to savor the view. While my mind levitating, a song from Simply Red filled the air *in my imagination....

What a lovely view

Simply Red - Stars

Anyone who ever held you
Would tell you the way I'm feeling
Anyone who ever wanted you
Would try to tell you what I feel inside
The only thing I ever wanted
Was the feeling that you ain't faking
The only one you ever thought about
Wait a minute can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

For the man who tried to hurt you
He's explaining the way I'm feeling
For all the jealousy I caused you
States the reason why I'm trying to hide
As for all the things you taught me
It sends my future into clearer dimensions
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Stay a minute can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

Too many hearts are broken
A lover's promise never came with a maybe
So many words are left unspoken
The silent voices are driving me crazy
As for all the pain you caused me
Making up could never be your intention
You'll never know how much you hurt me
Stay can't you see that I

I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I, I feel you
I hope you comprehend

My Confession

2009-12-11T22:34:00.003+07:00

post #386

Another weekday has passed...
Got a new laptop (ThinkPad R400) today and had a lunch with my (now officially) ex-colleagues.... ones I proud to consider not only as co-workers, but also as friends, spent their last day today...Hmmm.....everything that has a beginning, has an end...we may stop being colleagues, but we didn't stop being friends.... I'm gonna miss you guys....

The following song from Josh Groban gave me goosebumps the first time I heard it....the music, the guitar, his voice...and the lyric...it's just awesome....

God, this is my confession...

Josh Groban - My Confession

I have been blind, unwilling to see
The true love you're giving
I have ignored every blessing
I'm on my knees confessing

That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession

I have been wrong about you
Thought I was strong without you
For so long nothing could move me
For so long nothing could change me
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession

[bridge:]
You are the air that I breath
You're the ground beneath my feet
When did I stop believing?

Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace
And I feel my heart
Falling into place
I can't hide
Now hear my confession
I can't hide
Now hear my confession
Hear my confession

How To Save a Life

2009-12-07T21:15:00.003+07:00

post #385

Just really listened to this song yesterday and instantly fell in love with it. The beat, the melody, the piano, the lyric...a very nice one....Isaac Slade's voice was good...
Today I sent emails to the new developers, assigning them their first unit. I could see the look of anxiousness mixed with excite and worry at the same time on their faces.

Hmmm....flashbacks of memories came into my mind...I remembered the first few tasks I had to do was debugging programs...and they were so stressing....there were days when I felt it very hard to go to the office to work. But somehow I keep on holding on to this verse that's forged in my heart.... it's Philippians 4:13... and I did hold on...I moved, advanced...and it all because of Him, who enabled me to stand tall and through it all....

Now the torch is in my hand...time to pass it on to them...develop them...I hope I can do my best...

I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life....

The Fray - How To Save a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just talk
Smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
She goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Chorus:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
pray to God he hears you
And pray to god he hears you

Chorus

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours, grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Chorus
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Chorus 2x
How to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Le Ragazze

2009-12-06T21:24:00.001+07:00

post #383

Le Ragazze is Italian for girls... (teenage girls to be precise...if I'm not mistaken :D)
Hhhmmmm.....yesterday when I was at Mangga Dua I met this girl from univ. It'd been ages since the last time we met and she's still the same...in appearance.

Met her brought back some memories from univ....Smallville first season...Kristin Laura Kreuk aka Lana Lang...My infatuation toward her.... *and subsequently Elisha Cuthbert.....How long did it last? Few years I think....Time...went by so fast. Looking back the person I was and the person I am now...hhmm.....what have changed? Are they good changes? How's Kristin Kreuk been doin? Haven't heard from her in a long time...ermm...as if I knew her :p How's Elisha been doin?

Kristin Kreuk was just 19 when she landed the role as Lana...she's still a teenage girl. I was still a teenage. Years passed by and suddenly we're not teenager anymore. We led different lives. Me, Kristin, my univ friends.....

Well...it's been great weekend...playing futsal again after few weeks...and typically, I had some injury....then hibernating....watching DVD....browsing, chatting, blogging...went to church this morning...heavy rain....took a nap...watched Old Dogs (standard plot, yet funny) and now...ready to sleep...it's gonna be a long week...

Listening to this song also brought me back even further....the days I played computer games on PC....gosh those days seemed very longgggggg time ago....Romance Of Three Kingdoms and SimCity...those glorious, simple days.....

Neri Per Caso - Le Ragazze

Le Ragazze Si Lanciano Ad Occhi
Chiusi Nelle Avventure
Qualche Volta Confondono
La Bugia E La Verità
Seguono L'istinto
E L'istinto Le Aiuterà
Sono Treni In Corsa
Che Nessuno Fermerà

Le Ragazze Decidono Il Destino
Dei Loro Amori
I Ragazzi S'illudono
Ma Non Contano Un Gran Che...
Quando Ti Sorridono
È Probabile Che Sia Un Sì
Ma Quando Si Allontanano È No!
E Tu...

Ci Devi Stare Inutile Sperare
Di Recuperare Se Hanno Detto No
Meglio Sparire Non Telefonare
Per Sentirsi Dire Un'altra Volta No
Come Se Non T'importasse Più
Senza Farti Mai Vedere Giù
Si Può Amare Da Morire
Ma Morire D'amore No!

Le Ragazze Che Ispirano
Tutti I Testi Delle Canzoni
Sono Sempre Al Centro
Dei Discorsi Di Tutti Noi
Che Non Conosciamo
Nemmeno La Metà
Di Tutti Quel Che Pensano
E Dei Segreti Che Ognuna Ha

Le Ragazze Volteggiano
Sulle Ali Degli Aquiloni
E Noi Innamorati
Che Le Seguiamo Da Quaggiù
Guarda Come Planano...
Qualcuna Scenderà
Ma Quando Si Allontanano È No!
E tu...

Ci Devi Stare Inutile Sperare
Di Recuperare Se Hanno Detto No
Meglio Sparire Non Telefonare
Per Sentirsi Dire Un'altra Volta No
Come Se Non T'importasse Più
Senza Farti Mai Vedere Giù
Si Può Amare Da Morire
Ma Morire D'amore No!

Le Ragazze Che Sfidano
Le Opinioni Della Gente
Hanno Gli Occhi Limpidi
Di Chi Dice La Verità
Senza Compromessi
Né Mezze Misure
Sono Più Sincere
Le Ragazze Della Nostra Età

Neri Per Caso - Girls

[The girls throw themselves]
[With eyes shut into adventures]
[Sometimes they get confused]
[Between lies and truth]
[They follow instinct]
[Instinct will help them]
[They are running trains]
[That nobody will be able to stop]

[The girls decide]
[The destiny of their loves]
[The boys deceive them]
[But they don't count it at all]
[When they smile at you]
[It's probably a "Yes"]
[But when they move away, it's a "No"!]
[And you...]

[You have to hope in vain]
[To recover if they said "No"]
[Better get vanished, not make phone call]
[Than hear they say another "No"]
[What if you're not important again]
[And they never look down at you again]
[They can love till die]
[But not to die for love!]

[The girls who inspire]
[All lyrics of the songs]
[They are always the subject]
[Of all our talks]
[That we don't know]
[Not even a half]
[Of everything they think]
[And the secrets that everybody has]

[The girls twirl]
[The wings of the north winds]
[And we're charmed]
[That we follow them till here]
[Watch how they glide]
[Some will come down]
[But when they move away it's a "No"!]
[And you...]

[The girls who are against]
[The opinions of the people]
[They have clear eyes]
[Whose tells the truth]
[Without compromises]
[Neither half measures]
[They're so sincere]
[The girls of our age]

My December of 2009

2009-12-05T20:26:00.002+07:00

post #383

Well after three consecutive entries without any music...I'd like to take this chance to simply put a short entry, which will be closed by a wonderful song from Linkin Park. But this time the song was sung by Josh Groban.

This is truly MY December...

This line reverberating in my mind...
And I'd give it all away, just to have someone to come home to....

Trinity

2009-12-04T22:01:00.001+07:00

post #382

I've been meaning to write about this topic since I watched the last episode of Heroes season 3 and also Dollhouse season 1. You might be wondering, what is the relation between the title of this entry (vessel) with those two TV serials.

I remember vessel was used in Heroes, but the idea is the same with Dollhouse. In the beginning of Heroes episode, as usual there's a narration, some lines that sometimes I found interesting to ponder.
Here they are:

There are nearly seven billion people on this planet. Each one unique. Different. What are the chances of that? And why? Is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collections of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place? Or is it something more than this? Perhaps there's a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something unknowable that dwells in the soul, and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges that will help us discover who we really are.

I won't talk much about the last episode. *spoiler alert* In short, during a fierce fight, Nathan was killed by Sylar. But his mother just couldn't accept this. So she asked forced Matt Parkman to use his ability to order Sylar to make himself believe that he's Nathan. Being shape shifter and the fact he'd already had Nathan's memory, it just took a little push from Matt to 'convert' him to Nathan. Voilà, Nathan was good and alive again.

Dollhouse also offered similar idea. In the serial, there's a technology that enables us to store all of our memory into a harddrive. Not just that, it's also able to program our brain to have certain characteristics and/or abilities. It's like that the whole brain is mapped out, which neuron controls which part of the body and so on and so forth. Using this technology, the 'dolls' are made based on customer's request. Even at some point, it kinda enable human to live forever, going from one body to another one.

Watching these two serials reminded me of Ross Geller's line in FRIENDS. He said something like this: "In the future the tech will be so advanced that we can store all of our memories into a computer." Well I guess Dollhouse went a step further to illustrate it.

In one sentence, I think basically the moral message of these two serials is about what define a person wholly.

What are we consist of?
Is our body interchangeable? Is it only a vessel, a container which whatever material or substance can be put into?
Would I still be me if all of my memories and consciousness are transferred/put into Brad Pitt's body?

I know there are some movies which topic is about switching bodies (Boy and Girl Thing, Freaky Friday, Hot Chick are some of the examples).

But still...the grand question that we need to ask ourselves is: Who Am I? (just like Jackie Chan's movie :D)

I believe that human in whole is consisted of three elements, body, mind and soul. These three are integrated and the absence or lacking of one will make a person impaired. The most obvious thing of course if the body/physical part. There are people who have disadvantage on this one. Then mind/mental is a bit harder than the physical aspect because it's not directly noticed with our eyes. There are also some who are mentally ill and therefore need to have special treatment (hence the mental institution). The latest is the one that the is the hardest to notice if there's something goes wrong.

So...answering my own question above...I don't think I'd still be me if my mind+soul were transferred to Brad's Pitt body. Well, I dunno this for sure since I never experience it :D
I think all of us is individually unique. In physical aspect...I have my own blueprint, my DNA which I inherited from my parents all the way back to my ancestor with infinite possibilities of combination
In mind aspect....I have my values, my principles....how I perceive this world, this life...which is forged by my socio-cultural environment, education, interaction with others, and so on. In soul aspect....hmmmm...not really sure on this one...I guess it's my belief...

I think these what define me as a person. The absence or change in one of these three will invalid me from being me.

I also believe that these three affect and complement one another. I'm sure we're all familiar with the saying 'Mens sana in corpore sano'. It's true...the condition of each aspect influences the others. That's why I think its important to keep each of this aspect in a healthy condition. Work out, diet are some examples to keep the body in a good condition. Exploring hobbies, listening music, taking that cooking lesson you've been wanting to take for so long, etc are some ways to keep the mind in a good condition. But is it enough? I don't think so.

Have you, at times, feel like there's something missing? Like there's this hole or gap within you which no matter how much food, gadgets, shoes, bags, clothes, money, etc etc just can't fill....perhaps that's a sign that your soul is hungry. Or maybe on the other hand some other times you feel very fresh...very high spirited...like you can take on anything the world throws at you....

Well...I guess we just have to figure out these three things that make us truly, genuinely, uniquely us.

In Heroes, when Sylar is convinced that he's Nathan using Matt's ability, did he become Nathan? Did Sylar die?

I leave you a question to ponder along with these closing line from Heroes season finale...

Who am I?

We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

Waterfall

2009-12-03T22:00:00.000+07:00

post #381

Actually this entry has literally nothing to do with waterfall. I chose the title because at the moment I feel like a waterfall which just started to operate again *use your imagination :D

Well...since I read JB's blog yesterday,my passion to write was reignited and somehow I just ~~want~~ had to write. Hmmm...I guess I just start with some updates, what have been happening lately. Ok let's start shall we?

October-November had been months full of weddings. Two of my colleagues got married in October. My futsal friend got married at 21 November. My univ friend got married at 27 November and she asked me to sing at her wedding (which I did....) and then my junior high school friend got married at 29 November....One of my closest friend were starting to plan his wedding next year. The other one thought about getting married in one or two years.....Hmmm....my single friends stock were getting short....In a way, I'm happy for them. But I had to admit, there's this tiny bit part of me that got a envious. I wanted to have what they've already found. It'll surely put more meaning in this life.

Anyway beside that, like I wrote in my previous entry, work just had been crazy...but I'd like to highlight one particular thing that happened on Tuesday, 1 December 2009. There were these two new joiners assigned to the same project as me. I still remember the look on their faces when they came to the client site. I greeted them and they had this look...full of spirit...to realize their dreams.... Looking at them kinda reminded me of myself....it brought me three years back. Perhaps I also had that glow when I first joined the company...I was like them. New, fresh from the univ, still blind to what is SAP, ABAP, and so on. Trying to make their way in this harsh world. Then I looked at myself....hmm, I think I had gone quite far....if you had asked me back then whether I'd be in my current position in three years, I probably would have said that I wasn't sure I'd achieve this.

But that's the thing about life...about future. One can never say for certain what his/her future is gonna be. We all may have plans, dreams, hopes, etc...but not all of them go as we imagined/expected. In this particular case, it went beyond my initial expectation. One factor that I had to really gave credit for is none other than God. He made me reach this far.

Well...I hope that these two could learn their lessons and I'd try my best to take them under my wings and develop them.... *so poetic...hahahahaha....

The last thing that I'd like to mention was that I got a new cellphone...yippieeee.... it was given as a souvenir for my milestone seminar which was held today at Mulia Hotel. All new consultants and system analysts who just got promoted were invited. We're all given insight about the roles, what are expected from us, some tips and tricks from the more experienced persons, i.e. senior managers and senior executives. It was an interesting session. I enjoyed it, enjoyed the lunch *yummy...and of course the souvenir....:D

A person who says success is nothing without someone to share ~~most likely~~ perhaps never achieve one. I believe success means something, at least for me. For one, it gives a sense of accomplishment. Someone to share it will make the success even more meaningful, but the absence of that someone should not omit the meaning of the success itself.

You Light My Fire

2009-12-02T21:52:00.001+07:00

post #380

Whoaaaa....I spent the whole month without writing here.
The main reason was that I think somehow my passion to write was in its lowest point....I'd rather drown myself at work (work had been quite busy with new responsibilities I had to take) and watch TV serials as entertainment. There were some some ideas floating around in my head, but I never really got the motivation to write them down.

But today I was swept away by a powerful tide after a friend gave me a link to her friend's blog. It's so out of the blue that I was chatting with her....we're catching up since she's gonna resign soon. In the middle of conversation (which I wouldn't elaborate), she gave me her friend's blog.

I was intrigued. I dunno but I find reading people's blog is interesting thing to do. I can learn...a lot sometimes....the blogs broaden my perspective, enrich my knowledge, and some give me a good laugh. Not to mention that my friend, soon to be ex-colleague said good words about her friend's blog.

I quickly browsed her friend's blog and found that it is good. The perspective it offered caught my attention. Moreover this blog was written by such a young girl. I was impressed that at that age she already had way more mature way of thinking, how a person perceive things in life....compared to the other girls (spare the boys) at her age. I don't think that I was that mature at the same age...even if I were, I'd be not that confident to speak up my mind (well perhaps the fact that blogging wasn't even existed back then could be one of the reasons I couldn't properly channel my thoughts)

Again this proved that maturity doesn't necessarily come with age. I read two-three entries of her blog and it intrigued me more and more. I'm gonna explore her blog more later. Reading her blog gave me the chill...and then the fire inside my heart....the one which was fading away...the passion to write....was lit up again. I felt this urge to write right there and then....and being in the middle of working hours didn't really help. I had to restrain myself, control my urge....and now... I'm letting it all out....all out...

I guess this is all also showed that we all are bound with phases...with cycle....just like a saying that life is like a wheel, one time you're up...the other you're down...my passion to write (among other things I believe) also had its cycle...there were times when I was so passionate to write....there were times when I was very lazy to even copy paste a song lyric :D

I think its normal...its human. The difference is whether we keep on going or not. Just like when we already decide something....there will be ups and downs as the consequences of the decision...but we should keep going on....what happen if we stop? For sure, we wouldn't be moving anywhere...

I'm gonna write some more...with this newly rejuvenated passion.....
I'd like to dedicate this entry especially for J.B.
Thank you...you light my fire (again)....

Haven't Met You Yet

2009-10-23T20:34:00.004+07:00

post #379

Went to Gadink two days in a row. Well...less that 24 hours to be exact. After hanging out with some friends last nite, went again for lunch today. The breeze that I had felt before came again. But I think this time I was at full guard so the impact was minimum. What am I doing here...babbling about something that I can't really articulate......

Anyway...last nite was great. Had a wonderful time with lots of laughter. Heard a new song from Michael Buble that I instantly liked and searched on the inet after I went home. Good lyric and good music...

And to my surprise, Craig David's Insomnia was played today @ Gadink while I was eating lunch there.....hhmmmmm....Well...work's been catching up with me...dragging me to stay later than I used to....anyway...not much to say...just wanna post Michael Buble's song...love it!

Michael Buble - Haven't Met You Yet

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to loose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get~ mmm.......
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmmm ....

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility, mmmmmm....

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmmm....
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right an',
we'll be united

Instrumental

and I know that we can be so amazin',
And bein' in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmmmm

And someday I know it'll all turn out,
And I'll work to work it out,
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Oh, you know it'll all turn out,
and you'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get, yeah
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet,
Oh, promise you kid,
To give so much more than I get.

I said love love love love love love love.....
I just haven't met you yet
Love love love .....
So doy day ay ay ay, ay ay yeah
I just haven't met you yet!

Insomnia

2009-10-18T21:25:00.002+07:00

post #378

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

One month passed in a flash. Last month...I was adapting to the cold temperature in Melbourne, trying to sleep which I found was hard to do in the first days of my visit there. Days went by so fast it made me lost track of time. One thing for sure, it was a fantastic holiday.....just the one I need.

Back to the city...the humidity crept to my skin just as I stepped out from the plane. It was raining when I went there, and it was also raining when I got back. A welcoming gesture from mother nature? Dunno...

After the holiday, work caught me again. My responsibilities grew and it took all the focus I had to keep up with the pace of the project. Plus, I didn't feel that desire to write...that fire inside of me was fading...dunno why...perhaps it's just a phase that I had to go through....

Anyway, to immortalize interesting things that have been happening since my last entry, here's a list of them:
- Seize the moment right on Oct 1st
- David found the girl and now I'm the last guy standing
- Melina called me to remind me of the invitation to her wedding
- Played badminton quite regularly again
- For the very first time, ran out of gas...luckily I was almost arrive to the client site...I only needed to push Elisha for about a kilo
- Ireng Maulana and friends became the guest stars along with Wacana Bakti Symphony Orchestra at this morning mass....they were amazing
- Shopping and spending money without thinking too much....hahahahaha
- The TV serials are up again...leverage, the mentalist, gossip girl, heroes...etc....and of course...How I Met Your Mother, which season 3 I finished while I was in Melbourne

Hmmm...I guess that's all for now....well...I'll be writing more often once I got my fire back...in the mean time, do enjoy Craig David's Insomnia....

Craig David - Insomnia

I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush
Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up
When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough

Been a fool, girl I know
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time, you'll change your mind
Now looking back i wish i could rewind

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more
Oh i stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Remember telling my boys that I'd never fall in love, love, love, love
You used to think I'd never find a girl I could trust, trust, trust, trust
And then you walked into my life and it was all about us, us, us, us
But now I'm sitting here thinking I messed the whole thing up, up, up, up

Been a fool (fool), girl I know (know)
Didn't expect this is how things would go
Maybe in time (time), you'll change your mind (mind)
Now looking back i wish i could rewind

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before (Because it)
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah (Ah), Feels like insomnia ah ah

Ah, i just can't go to sleep
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you
It's getting way too deep
And i know that it's love because

I can't sleep til you're next to me
No i can't live without you no more (without you no more)
Oh i stay up til you're next to me (to me)
Til this house feels like it did before
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah
Feels like insomnia ah ah, Feels like insomnia ah ah

At Boarding Room

2009-09-21T16:38:00.000+07:00

post #377

You come running to the corner cause you know that it’s all for you. I’m the man who can’t be moved…

Heard when I was walking down at the airport. I just arrived and walked to the terminal to check in, then this part of the song welcomed me…hmmmmm…

Now here I am sitting in the boarding room, waiting to get on board. Holiday began…yeahhhh…it had been good three days. Yesterday had project dinner at Sizzler Gadink…I was like....hmmmmmm….my working world and personal world merged…after the dinner I wandered around Gadink Mall…looking for Adidas Adinova. There was this sale but there’s no color that I wanted.

Anyway, my concentration is a bit disrupted at the moment, there’s this football highlights on the tv. So I just gonna end this now. Perhaps I’ll continue in Sydney when I had the spare time (and willingness) to write…

Melbourne….here I come!!!!

originally written on 16 Sept 2009, at around 8 PM

Wuzz Up, Weekend?

2009-09-15T15:04:00.000+07:00

post #376

Yeahhhh….it’s one of the best weekend I had. Though I had to work on Saturday morning, but the rest was....awesome (Barney made me using this word again). The working part was not so bad; I gained some knowledge in terms of database performance from basis point of view. Yeahhh....Then after the short working hours, I picked up mom at the hospital, we didn’t get the varicella Zooster Immuno Globulin after all since it’s not available here. Drove mom home then went to pick up Jef, Ed n Dev. We went to have dimsum lunch @Sands. But we made a quick stop first to get the car license after it got renewed.

Arrived @Sands…we ate for about two hours. Boy I was sooo full. We took some pictures, went to Mangga Dua Mall to pick up the mouse I bought @Bhinneka on their midnite sale event. There was this cute shop attendant whose face seemed familiar. It seemed like I had met her before, just couldn’t remember when and where. We went back home after that. The traffic was crazy that day. It was congested almost all the way. Then Ed n Dev told me that they’re going to MOI midnite sale. Impulsively, me and Jef said yes. There was just little time before we’re supposed to go…so I rested for a while. I was drifted to sleep for a while and then woke up when Nana came. She gave the simcard that my sis had sent earlier and also some things for her.

Then the circle start again, I picked up Jef, Ed and Dev. We went to MOI. I went to Centro, looking for some shirts (planned to buy one for Rod as well). Luckily I had Centro friends card which entitled me to get 50% discount for G2000 products. There were some shirts which color I like. I called my sis to confirm what color I should buy for Rod’s. Then I got myself blue and navy shirts (I’m wearing the latter atm). When I was trying the shirts on, I heard Jef talked to someone and when I came out it turned out that he was talking to David.

What a coincidence. David was there too. The band was getting merrier :D We looked around at Centro, there was this Adidas shoes that I had my eyes on. Gonna buy it when there’s a discount, or perhaps when I though it’s reasonable time to do so…hehehehe… We (me and Jef) parted way with David coz he was accompanying his sister and niece. We went around, exchanged our receipt with tickets to be included in the door prize. Unfortunately we didn’t get any. Ed’s bro n wife came when we were waiting for the door prize announcement. Later on we went to Carrefour, Ed n Den shopped while me n Jef ate. After that, we went home…That conclude a nice Saturday.

Woke up on Sunday morning, went to the church to attend the 2nd morning mass with David. The pastor gave a moving sermon, which I decided to write on a separate entry (already did actually, it became a note on my facebook account). David had this thing with his univ friends and a friend of mine invited to a brunch @Soho. I said okay. Then the brunch eventually became a late lunch since we just gathered at around 2 PM. We went to Soho….hung out there till evening. We had a great time, the conversation was just kept on going. The ambience there was good. Again, I also took some pictures there. There’s this song by The Fray that I remembered being played while we had our late lunch. It’s Look After You…a good, mellow song. After that we initially wanted to go to T-Rex after eating dinner, but we ended up going home after it. We also ended up eating at Sumpit instead Pasta de Waraku…well, some other time then I guessed.

Went home and finished watching How I Met Your Mother season 2. The season finale was a bit predictable, but still I like how things were laid out. It’s a great serial…love it! I really like Robin Scherbatsky…

Weekend has passed, Monday was good too…today was also good. Gonna have project dinner this evening…and tomorrow is the D-day...yippieeeee

The Fray – Look After You

If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you, After you
Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Be my baby
Oh, oh, oh [x4]

09-09-09

2009-09-09T15:42:00.002+07:00

post #375

What so special about today?

It's 999. It's my colleague's birthday. It's they birthday of a girl I used to be close to. It's one week before my departure. Hmmm... I could think of some other things, but basically I just wanted to write this entry for the sake of 999.

Still watching How I Met Your Mother...love it very much. I dunno, but it seemed God was giving some lessons through that serial....or perhaps I just read between the lines too much...hahahaha...There were some more good lines that I think I'm gonna quote later on.

Well...this short entry should be just a reminder about this day....a day when I still have the time to write an entry during office hour....a day when I reminisced the memories....a day when I exclusively put Peterpan - Menghapus Jejakmu as my FB n YM status....

It's been two year but I still love the song....Well...tonight I'm gonna play futsal....I will play with this spirit....

Engkau bukanlah segalaku, bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku...
Usai sudah semua berlalu, biar hujan menghapus jejakmu...

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

2009-09-07T11:27:00.003+07:00

post #374

Another great weekend has passed. A bit change of plan on Saturday. I had planned to get Elisha her overdue check up, but since mom wasn’t feeling well, I took her to the doctor instead. So the first half day was spent at the hospital. Then the rest of the day was just slumbering and finishing How I Met Your Mother season 1. It’s a great serial…really…

I used some lines from it as my FB status and comments were pouring like rain…lolzzz. Then took a sneak peek by watching the first episode of the second season. Still good ;) Went to sleep was the closure for the day.

Woke up at almost 8 AM on Sunday, took a bath and when I checked my cell, there were already some missed calls from David. I went to the church and boy…it was very crowded. David already waited and we didn’t get seat inside the church. I was wondering for a while…why???

Then it came to me…the archbishop was visiting our parish and gonna serve the mass. No wonder…Then the mass began. Seeing the archbishop was… *couldn’t find any word atm… there’s this aura…man of God (which perhaps was driven my personal suggestion as well)…I wonder how’d it feel if it’s the pope I saw from such close distance…it’d have been breathtaking…

Anyway, the archbishop gave a very interesting sermon. He made a visitation to mark the start of Holy Bible month. He started his sermon with a little bit of history background. About how in early times the bible was translated to different languages by St. Jerome who was fluent in several languages such as Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic. And then the Second Vatican Council allowed the bible to be translated to various languages. Later he reminded us to be very careful in reading the bible. We shouldn’t confidently interpret the bible because God talked to each and everyone of us through the one and same bible, yet the message we received might be different. The bible touched us uniquely, affected by our own personal experience. He gave an illustration about three catholic who were in an accident. Each person might see the accident differently. The first person might be feeling it’s a wake up call from God, that the person needed to make amends. The second person might be feeling to cherish the life the person has. To be more grateful.

That’s why it is dangerous if we read the bible and said to our fellows, ‘Hey, here’s what bible told us today. Here’s what we need to do.’ Why? Because the part of the bible he/she read and interpreted was reflected on his/hew experience, which was not necessarily apply for others. Hence, other might perceive different things. We shouldn’t debate over this and let the interpretation done by the authority figure, the church that has been through from the beginning. Well, I don’t really remember other details…but it was sure an enlightening sermon. Perhaps I was mellow, but when I was just moved when I heard…”Hanya rahmat dan kasih dari-Mu, yang kumohon menjadi hartaku” It’s just…moving.

Then I went back home, drove my mom to Gadink then waited for my homies to come @Dante. They came at 1PM, we chatted then went to Cempaka Mas..it was very crowded as well there. Everybody seemed to be shopping for the Ied Fitri day. Met Bowo and we ate @Pizza Hut. After that, we went to MOI to watch Carriers. Standard movie with no explanation about how did it start and the end was an open one. Then we went back home and I continued How I Met Your Mother season 2.

Along the way yesterday, Agus played this song that I instantly like…the lyric was like the man who can’t be moved…I thought it’s about a man who made a stand and stood his ground, negatively, as in deciding to let go of something/someone. It turned out to be the opposite. So here it is…a man who cannot be moved.

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

#
Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"
I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

#
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
Cause you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

Cause If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
Oh you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving,
(Cause If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet)
I'm not moving
(Oh you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved (Official Music Video)

Never Say Never

2009-09-04T16:32:00.004+07:00

post #373

You can never say never, while we don't when time and time again....

A friend introduced me to this song and I liked it right away. Like I mentioned earlier in my previous blog....I've been listening to it lately. The mellow melody really suited my default mood...Later out I found out that it was the soundtrack for Transformers 2. Wowww.... :D

There were some random things I wanted to write....It rained quite hard on Sept 1st....perhaps it represented my mood at the time, and also helped in washing away that unnecessary thing. There was earthquakes on Wednesday....but I still did my job as an MC for the office breakfasting event.

Been watching How I Met Your Mother season 1 since Monday....loved it instantly. Though I was late...the timing was kinda aligned with my current condition...I think. Ted Mosby was a 27 year old, single, cute and (wayyyy too much) overthink architect who lived in the Big Apple with his best buddies, Marshall and Barney. Been watching it till episode 12 last nite...I liked Robin....Ted's love interest in the serial....but wasn't the woman he married in the end :D *Made me curious who's the lucky girl....

Attended first friday mass again today after so long. It felt great....I really love my current working location. Anyway...it's 4 Sept now...time went by so fast....days, weeks, months...flew just like that. In the spirit of reminiscing....The Fray - Never Say Never... I'd never say that I never...

The Fray - Never Say Never

Some things we don't talk about
Rather do without
Just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

#
You can never say never
While we don't know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

*
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[x2]

Picture you're the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hands

#, *

We're pulling apart
And coming together again and again
We're growing apart
But we pull it together,
Pull it together, together again

Don't let me go
Don't let me go
Don't let me go
[x4]

The Fray - Never Say Never (Official Music Video)

Ad maiorem Dei gloriam

2009-09-02T11:05:00.003+07:00

post #372

For the greater glory of God

Thank You for this achievement, God. Once again, three years in a row...I've made it. It was such some kind of an idea last year....then I became a bit more confident to achieve it. As time went by I always tried my best....with the realization that You would take care the rest. Two days ago I had a bit doubt though...I didn't know for sure if I'd be promoted....I was anxious...I did some reflection. Perhaps God wanted to teach me something....what was it? To accept that I can't have everything that I wanted? Learn to let go? Learn to face disappointment when something that I expected so much didn't come true?

I wanted it badly, esp after hearing the update about non-promoted. But I said to Him in my prayer that I surrendered all my desires to Him, let it be what He wanted to be. I learned to lean on Him fully. Then yesterday came the news....I asked my counselor....and it was a good one...I got promoted....YEAHHHHH!!!! Thank You, God! That was the first thing came in mind. I couldn't have done it without You. I guess this is aligned with Your master plan. Though there are other things that I think I need to learn to let go...but this...you gave me this one, God. Thank You. I'm gonna be a better person...learning everyday....

Grazie Dio...

1Cor 10:31
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God...

Venti

2009-08-31T10:50:00.001+07:00

post #371

Still a bit drowsy and tired physically…but I was excited. The weekend was great. Slept at around midnite on Friday, woke up at 10-ish AM. Went online…checking my team on the EPL Fantasy Premier League then had an interesting and quite long chat with a friend.

Another friend asked me to watch War Inc with her @MOI. Since I didn’t have any plans for the afternoon, I said ok. Besides, I was interested in the cast list (John Cussack, Sir Ben Kingsley, Marisa Tomei, and Hillary Duff). It turned out to be a sarcastic, bit twisted movie…Since I wasn’t in the mood for sarcasm; I gave it an average rating. Went back home afterward, went to pick up Jef (Andro tagged along) and we went to play futsal.

Venti…with a high determination, I, again reached 20 goals. It was kinda hard to scored the first four goals. But after that, I tuned in. My right toe was injured again…but I shrugged off the pain and kept playing till it was eight. Took a break for a while…then continued playing to add another twelve. Right after I scored the 20th goal…the final whistle was blown and the stadium was roaring with excitement… exaggerating mode: on…lollzzz…It was tiring, but when you do something that you like…something you have passion in…the feeling conquered all tiredness.

Took a shower, then went to McD…we succeeded in persuading Jef to treat us dinner. The streets were still quite crowded, the cars were leaving Gadink. McD was still crowded as well. Luckily we got seats without waiting. When we were eating, an enjoyable one, Agus saw some of his colleagues. One of them was a classmate back in university. She recognized me…well since I was quite popular back then…it came as no surprise….hahahahaha… but I didn’t remember her..at all. Anyway…it turned that they were going to Inul Vizta…they invited Agus and me to join. I decided to join since it was quite some time I hadn’t gone karaoke plus I found that one of my classmate’s friends was quite cute :D Too bad Never Say Never was not in the song repository. Lately I’d been listening to it. Just my type of songs. Anyway we had a great time till 1.30 AM…Agus gave me a ride home and I went to sleep at 2 AM.

Slept only for about four hours coz I wanted to attend the first morning mass at 6.30 AM. Managed to get up on time, felt fine in fact. Attended the morning mass and met David afterward. I told him I wouldn’t be accompanying him since I had to go with my mom. Went back home, took the car from Jef’s house then went to my auntie’s house. As usual the moms were talking for hours…I was feeling drowsy so I just slumbered on the couch. After several hours, we went home.

Went to Gadink was next on the busy schedule. David was already at Dante. We talked for a while before Agus came. Too bad Bowo couldn’t join us. We chatted…talked about a lot of things. Then we headed to the theater to watch Hangover. After that we decided to eat at Yuraku. Met Jef just in front of The Summit marketing office. He was about to watch a movie. We eat..a lottttt at Yuraku. While we’re eating…we saw Irwan n Ervi…and then…Jef again…lolzzz… After our stomachs were full…we walked to La Piazza. It’s around fasting break time and La Piazza was very crowded. The place was swarmed with people. We ended up at Coffee Corner…talked a bit, but our drowsiness got the better of us. So we went home not so long after we finished our drinks.

Back at home, I watched two episodes of How I Met Your Mother and I loved it instantly after 10 minutes of the first episode. The timeline…somehow reminded me of my own situation…a bit :D I wanted to watch the third episode, but I was too tired...so I went to bed instead. And that concluded a weary yet wonderful weekend.

Three Years, I Promise

2009-08-28T22:24:00.000+07:00

post #370

I'm coming back in three years, I promise....

That was the line I really remembered from District-9. I was really grateful for the working location....I'd been going to the mall for the last three days...never done this before...usually it's straight to home after work....too late n too tired to even think going to the mall.

Anyway...it's a good movie...a very good one I must say. Some of my friends said it's gross....it's bad...the others (bigger portion) said that it's a great movie. So I decided to watch it...wanna know what's the fuss was all about. I had assumed that it's a good movie....and I was right.

Though the setting was not really the most beautiful place on earth, it told the story beautifully. *spoiler alert* There were several scenes that quite explicit...the killing ones. The special effect was good as well. In just three days time, a man's life changed dramatically. An agent who used to hunt down alien, in an unexpected incident found himself in the alien's position...hunted down by other humans. His mindset was shaken...and finally he understood that any life form had basic right.....

I saw different side of alien...they're more human...humanized alien....they felt tired, angry, sad....they loved their families....they wanted to go home.....Despite the ugly (if I may say so) appearance, deep down they're just a life being....like us human. They bleed....they got scared....they died....Not so different with us, right?

Hmmm......after that...bought some shirts and pants....yeahhhh...there was this 70% discount at G2000, so I took the chance to renew my work shirts collection which had been lacking in update for quite some time. It was a good bargain....hahahahaha...gosh...I love this working place...

Back to District-9.....
Kinda reminded me of Saul in the bible. He was hunting down Christian at the time...and by divine intervention, he got blind....his whole world was turned upside down and he became Paul...the most productive disciple in terms of writing letters. He was changed......just like Wikus....I know this was quite a stretch to make such comparison....but let's just ponder on the thought...

Promise....Christopher Johnson, the alien promised Wikus to come back in three years. Did he keep his promise? That was what the audience left with to figure out.
Reminded me...when was the last time I made a promise? Did I keep it? Hmmmm.....

Bump Into

2009-08-27T11:00:00.002+07:00

post #369

Whoaaaaaa......lately (and by lately I mean was the last three days) I'd been feeling very energized. Perhaps because it's the amount of physical activities that I tried to do regularly, perhaps because I bumped into some old friends yesterday....but I guessed the main reason was because this current assignment.

The working location was just.....perfect....less than three kilos from Gadink....near home....provided lunch. Yeah I know I had mentioned this earlier, but I was still adjusting to this 'darn great' situation. It made my spirit rise....Yesterday, it took only around 10 minutes to get to Gadink Mall.

I was planning to watch District-9. Ate dinner before the movie at Charmy accompanied by some friends. Winy decided to watched District-9 again, we used her card. Along the way to the theater, there's a familiar voice calling to us. It's Vero....what a coincidence...She said she's gonna watch Hangover....so we decided to watch Hangover instead. Got the tickets....then when we're about to enter the theater, a guy tapped Winy on the shoulder. It was Tommy....HEYY....long time no see. He's just got back from Singapore. He was with his friends. And we all ended up watching Hangover.

The movie itself was hilariously funny. Some explicit scenes and language though, but still...very entertaining. Aahhhhhh......this' gonna be great.....I could go to Gadink everyday...hahahahahhaha....

Love this site.

Another First

2009-08-25T19:47:00.002+07:00

post #368

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....I was soooo excited!!!!
Today marked my first day in the new project. Before I went on with my impression, let's take a quick recap of the previous week.

It was a nice week. Relaxed, no pressure....nice cooling down period after two weeks of reminiscing the times I had last year. Yeah I was assigned for a (really) short term project at ISEB. I was really tempted to buy Javelin or E71 during my time there (due to the lack of inet connection), but I managed to hold on to my sense. Bowling and Karaoke+Dinner were the events when I was there.... Yipppieee....and in that week, I went to karaoke places 4 times in 8 days. They were all different....lolzzzz.....

After relaxing week, I pllayed badminton again on Saturday, after soooo long. I couldn't even remember exactly when was the last time I played badminton. Bowo was kind enough to invite me to join, so I did.

On Sunday, we as usual hung out @Dante....this time Yuli joined us. Had chit chat and Agus said a joke that made David (he was sipping his coffee at the time) spurted the coffee....it's very hilarious. Then we watched The Proposal. Nice movie, standard plot, so so...but still quite funny and entertaining. Sandra Bullock still looked beautiful there, though she's reaching 45....hmmmm...make up effect? :D

Yesterday I had coaching training. It's an interesting training. Got a lot of insights in terms of self-awareness, emphatic, and communication. Well some I had already known, but there were some other points that fine tuned and enriched the ones I'd understood.

And today....well...it was the BEST client location I've had so far. It took less than half an hour to get there....free parking....lunch was provided....and *as usual* at first day there was nothing much to do....It also took less than half an hour to get home, though the traffic was quite awful....I love it......YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!

Well, today the PMO talked a bit about the role I'd be given and I was excited....I needed to keep my mind occupied....another first.....another start....a new day....Sometimes I think God's timing is really just perfect....I dunno for sure where this may lead....but I'm sure gonna do my best n let it flows....I'll see (and perhaps understand) in time....His time...

Another first....hope all goes well...

She's Just Not That In To You

2009-08-18T17:55:00.000+07:00

post #367

Had a chat with a friend of mine and came up with a conclusion......women are weird. Imagine this:
There's a guy, let say his name was A. A was attracted to a girl, let say her name was B. A was introduced to B by his friend (C). After the introduction, A started to conversation with B. It seemed like they hit it off (at least from A's point of view). They often chatted via YM and the conversation flowed naturally. There were some positive responses (or in girl's term, signals) from B. Well, B sometimes took the initiative to call A first (this could be categorized as a positive signal, right?). At some point (a few weeks), A thought it's time to ask B out. So he did.

A took her out on a lunch and it seemed to go well. But after that, lately A felt that B was not as responsive as she had been. She never called him first. Their chat session became a kind of QnA session; A asked, B answered. It seemed to A that B didn't enjoy their chat session as much as she had been before. A knew that B was busy with her job and other things she needed to take care of. Not to mention that the clock was still ticking and there's a deadline that B had to meet. But still....the change of situation made A wonder....what?? why??

-------------------------------------------

From my experience (and some enlightenment from female friends)....given the circumstances, there were two possibilities. First, she's just not that into him anymore. That's why she never initiated conversation. Perhaps after a while getting to know A, she (slowly) lost her feelings (if there's any in the first place). B only replied and answered A out of courtesy, as a polite talk. Second, B was testing A. She wanted to know how far A would go to make an approach to her. She was being coy to see how much A wanted her.

I discussed this with a female friend (to get a perspective from the opposite sex) and she's agreeing with the above hypothesis. In B's mind, she was giving CLEAR signals, while on the other hand.....A was lost in translation. Deciphering Girl's Signal 101 was a subject that we, guys, didn't take back in college....or even if we did take, we all flunked....It's the thing with these signals that girls like to throw at guys. There were just too many exceptions which varied heavily based on the circumstances, plus there were many variables that needed to be taken into the equation to correctly decipher them. Hence, most of the times these signals were misinterpreted.

Girls, let me tell you one thing. Guys usually think logically. We are not trained, not to mention well educated to grasp the signals flying around in the air. We do not have that wi-fi capability to catch the signals, let alone decode them and tap into the network of a girl's mind. From my understanding, A was wondering between these two possibilities. If it's the first then it'd be better for him to take a step back.....if it's the second, he'd better keep on going to show her that his intentions were for real.

And if it's really the first possibility, there were two options that make things a bit complicated. If he took a step back that's too far....B might be thinking....hhmmm....guys were all the same....dissapear when things didn't go like they wanted them to. If he took a step back that's too little, B might be thinking....hhmmmm....this guy was so stupid. I clearly gave signals that I was interested, that I wasn't into him....why did he still approach me? Did I really need to say it out loud?*

*In my opinion....yes please do say it out loud...we, guys are dumb....we couldn't take a hint that is vaguely given. We are not as highly evolved as girls in this department.

If it's the second possibility, again there were two options that make things a bit interesting. If he keep on going boldly, she might be thinking....geez....this guy's very aggresive...it kinda freaked me out. If he keep on going slowly, she might be thinking....this guys's indecisive....did he want me or not? Come on, be a man, make a clear gesture....

Hence this lead to a question, how much enough is enough?
Unfortunately, the answer to this question is vary. Each girl could have different answer.
My friend also told me that girls are often shy. They didn't say exactly what's on their mind. They wanted the guy to understand them, to know what they want. Well, for simple things (by simple I mean very basic, clear signal....you know like traffic light, only Red, Yellow, and Green), we can decipher them....But for intermediate level, we're overwhelmed with the number of variables involved in the equation. For advanced level....we're simply lost.

If I see from the breakdown to those 4 possibilities, there's one common thing they all share. They're all based on signal interpretation. This signal translation is unreliable because like I said earlier, each sender has different standard....the receiver was not competent to correctly interpret...plus they both have their own standard of signal transmission...in short, they're all based on assumption.

I guess she's not into me....She pulled away a bit because she wanted to see how bad you want her....She pulled away a bit because she wanted to tell you, nicely, that you're not her type....These are some examples of the things we conclude based on the assumption we made about the signals we received (we refer to guys).

If that so....there would have been awfully lottttt of miscommunication happened then (wait, there already were). Actually there's one proven method to resolve this.

Talk. (Girls, please) Don't give signals. Please stop this mind game. Talk, have an open communication. This surely saves a lot of time and energy for both. We don't have to force every GHz of our brain processor to decode the signals that we might received incorrectly or incomplete in the first place...or decode using the wrong decryption key.....Create a dedicated channel for both to communicate.

Ok, in some culture it's expected that guys make the first move. So guys....if you're wondering, unsure, and so on....talk to her.....ask her to clarify. And girls, please be forward about it. If you're not into him, ignore him. Be cruel. It's better that way. I always believe that an honest communication is one of the essences of a lasting relationship, whatever relationship it may be.

Diary of A Best Man Vol 2

2009-08-18T15:46:00.001+07:00

post #366

My buddy since kindergarten got married yesterday. I, once again became the best man. And once again, it was a longgggg day. Woke up at 7, quickly took a bath, prepared myself, grabbed milk as b’fast then went to Eddy’s house. The car was already there along with the photographer. Then I waited for Eddy there, he came at around 8.20 AM. Then the glove, vest ritual was begun. Then I accompanied him to pick up the bride…

Arrived at the hotel, Eddy was welcomed by the bride’s family, tea pai ceremony and so on. Then we went back to Eddy’s house to have the groom+bride pics taken in the wedding bedroom. Quick tea pai with Eddy’s family, then went to church. Arrived there, the choir was ready. Met David there, I texted him about Eddy’s wedding and he decided to attend the wedding sacrament.

I had to be a last second substitute lector. Well, that’s what a best man should be right? Anything…Tried to live up the role given to me. Took some pics after that, and then continued with the civil registry. After that we went to the bridal, the groom + bride were getting their make up retouched. Arrived there and we ate lunch first…After that at around 4 PM we went to the reception place.

Arrived early, we managed to take some pictures and then at around 5 sth PM the families were coming. There’s another tea pai ceremony for the big family of groom and bride. Ate dinner before the reception, then at 7 PM the ‘show’ began. There were some friends from univ that came. Few from high school, and there were more from Jr High. Well that’s because our parents knew each other and we happened to go to the same school…kindergarten, primary and jr high…hehehehhe

I was planning to sing on Eddy’s wedding..but I had second thought about it. Then his 2nd bro, told me…it’s once in a lifetime…it would be great if Eddy’s best friend from kid sing on his wedding. So I sang finally, though my voice wasn’t still really recovered. It seemed like the audience enjoyed it, or didn’t care about it since they’re to busy eating…lolzz… The food was good…there were quite a lot leftover, but the drink was not enough. Dunno why, the room was crowded though…the guests were a lottttt…

Then…photo taking session. After that…just families (plus the best man and bride’s maid). I was the only outsider (since I wasn’t part of the family member) hehehehe…

Well…congrats to you bro. You finally met someone who succeeded in move you. You decided to take the plunge and commit yourself in a marriage bond. I’m really happy for both of you. When I thought about it…hey…he’s getting married. And it’s not just marked by a ring on his finger, but his priorities and life changed. He had opened another chapter in his life. *sigh I wish you both an everlasting marriage. Most of my friends were already married, some even already been a parent. Some others were in a steady relationship.
Me…still looking for that something… *sigh At least few were still roaming as free agents…lolzzz…

I just listened to One Republic – Stop and Stare…one of the lyric was…

I think I’m moving but I don’t know where…
Hmmmm…I know where I’m going…the vague big picture that I’ve had in mind was getting clearer…

originally written on Aug 3, 2009

Last Day @Wave 3

2009-07-31T18:00:00.001+07:00

post #365

Whoaaaa.....today marked the last day in this project. It's been a great run...I should say that I'm thankful to be part of this project, meeting new people from various countries, learning new things, and executing new responsibilities....It's been a rewarding experience.

Just got back from afternoon coffee session @Starbucks. Already sent notification email to the on-site team about my roll-off and their response were positive. One of them even said that I'm a great ABAPer...... *blushing...hehhehehe

Life goes on....last Wednesday I had my last futsal game in FY2009...it was good game. There were about sixteen people came. I managed to scored 12 goals, a hattrick in a match....after that we took some pictures....I hope there would be more of this...To channel all that energy and passion....

Work's been slowing down at the beginnig of the week, but piling up these last two days...but still managable....

Sunday would be Eddy's wedding. I need to prepare (and groom) myself to be a good best man. Arrggghhhh...so many things swimming in my head at the moment but I just can't seem to pour them all out....I'm overwhelmed with emotions and this brain + fingers cannot really translate them all...Hence this rather incoherent babbling....

I just got an IM from one of the functional...

hi xxxxx...it's been my great pleasure to work with u as well
you are one of the best abapers i have met.. and i have learnt lots
thanks!!!

*Blushing again....Wow...it seemed like I have been underestimating my own skills....Thank God; All the project assignments must have forged me to accomplish these acknowledgment. I still need to keep sharpening myself....improving...

*Sighh.....everything went well.
Like Matrix Revolution tag line...everything that has a beginning, has an end....
And I think I have ended this one superbly....:D

Gonna finish Chuck season 2 tonight and enjoy the weekend ahead....
Thank You, God....help me in my next project....

ad majorem Dei gloriam

Family Man

2009-07-26T16:24:00.000+07:00

post #364

Ermmm.....Where should I begin?
Okay I guess I'll start with the interview that change my life course afterward. I got this interview at newspaper in South Florida. My beloved wife, Jenny drove me to the office and gave me that encouragement that I'd have the job. I had a friend who already worked at the newspaper, Sebastian. Short story, the interview was successful and I nailed the job. Jenny was very happy about it coz it's her idea to move somewhere warmer (we came from Michigan btw).

Life had been pretty good actually. We'd been married for 4 years and happy about it. Then one morning, in the middle of breakfast, I was reading Jenny's article (yeah she's a journalist as well) before go to the office when she discovered that her plant was dead. Something that she said afterward struck me. Here's what she said: "How am I ever supposed to take care of a kid if I can't even keep a plant alive?"

Uh oh....Later I talked to my bud, Sebastian. He suggested that I should get a pet...dog. By having dog, I'd still be me and not be a dad...a master instead. Then off he went to Colombia to write a story about cocaine. I took his advice and went to a dog shelter with Jenny. I gave her a surprise by buying her a dog. We got this cheap puppy...we called him Clearance Puppy. But we couldn't take him home just yet. We had to wait for 3 weeks.

I got the dog while Jen was in Gainesville. I ended up naming him Marley, since he seemed like Bob Marley's song that was played on the radio when we were on our way home. Marley was a cute, adorable puppy. On the day I picked up Jen at the airport, there was thunder and I left Marley all alone in the garage. When we're back...we're amazed by the destruction Marley did in just an hour time.

Time passed and Marley grew from a cute, naughty puppy to a bigger, naughtier dog. One day my editor gave me a column. In newspaper world, it's a promotion. I was doubtful at first because I didn't see myself as a columnist. And I was blank....didn't have any idea about what to write. Since Marley was so incorrigible (so we thought), we took him to a dog discipline class. On his first day, he humped the trainer and got banned from the rest of the course. It was kinda funny actually. Then we decided the take the last resort, fertilize him.

I gave my editor the story based on my experiences with Marley..well basically because I didn't have anything else. To my surprise, he loved it. He said it's hysterical and it's very good. He said this when I was walking out of his office, big smile on my face. Listen, you know what makes it work? What makes it work is that you put yourself into it.

Then next all I knew that my column was revolving around Marley. Time went by, two years passed and one night after so many columns I wrote..I saw Jen dancing with Marley. Then I thought the reason not to have baby....nada...One day I took Marley for a walk with Jen and I asked her about the next thing on her list (moving to warmer place was in her list...forgot which step). She said it's a toss between new roof and a baby. I said I could live with a few leaks. Jen tried to confirm my seriousness. I convinced her that I'm ready.

I had a lunch with Sebastian one day and he asked me what made me change my mind. I said to him, Well, here's the thing. I'm actually married to someone and I care about what she wants. He later asked me if that's what I want. I said yeah. It turned out that Sebastian was doing a story for NY Times and he was hoping we can work together. But this kind of job is not really appropriate for a father to be. I was interested. But Jen gave me the news that she's pregnant. So I didn't tell her about Sebastian's offer.

I accompanied Jen to check the baby when her pregnancy was almost 10 weeks. We got the bad news. There was no heart beat. Jen looked very sad. She was quite all the way back home. She just stared out of the car window. Back at home when I was making her some tea and trying to make some conversation, I saw Marley comforting her just by placing his head on her thigh. Then Jen cried. Marley was just sitting there, behaving himself while I tried to comfort Jen.

We decided to take a vacation to Ireland, I thought it'd might help to comfort Jen. Of course we didn't bring Marley along. We had a girl to take care of him while we're away. Not so long after we got back, Jen surprised me with a great news. She was pregnant. Ahh...the luck of Irish.

Then one night...Jen felt it. The baby was coming. Marley helped me unboxing the car seat for the baby. He even behaved very well when I introduced Patrick to him. One day I took Marley to the beach and he looked at a couple making out. Went back home and I saw Jen was holding Patrick as she sang....she looked so adorable. She saw me and smiled. I smiled back.

One night a neighbor was stabbed in an robbery attempt. After that incident I decided to move to Boca. The price was high but I think we could afford it. I talked to Jen about it and she gave me another surprise. She was pregnant again. So I asked a raise to my editor. He said okay if I would be a permanent columnist. I said to him that I had an idea of myself as a reporter. He said: Well, sometimes life comes up with a better idea. Short story, I got a raise and a daily column.

One morning Jen just snapped because of Marley being Marley. I took him to the park with Sebastian. Sebastian asked who would get Marley if we split up. I said to him, mend it, don't end it. So live is better with Jenny than without her? Sebastian asked again.

Then we got into this big fight, Jen asked me to get rid of Marley. In the middle of the heat I said some things I shouldn't have said. So went to Sebastian's, asked him to keep Marley for a while, at least until things cooled down. Sebastian was preparing to move to NY Times. Woww...I hadn't known that.

Later that night I went back home, Jen was sleeping on the couch. She seemed to be waiting for me. She asked about Marley and I told her Marley was at Sebastian for a few days until I could find more permanent home. She said...Marley's home is with us. Then she said sorry because she got overwhelmed. She said no one tells how hard it is....marriage, being a parent. Then she said that she had made a choice, and even if it's harder than she thought, I don't regret it. She said we're gonna get through it, together.

One day when I was spending time with my family, a call from Philadelphia Inquirer, offered me an interview as a reporter. How does it feel to have your best years behind you? You do everything you wanted to? That were the questions I asked Marley when I took him to the beach. Then I unleashed him. He ran to the ocean and the other dogs were unleashed too. But Marley made a scene by pooping in the water. Later that night Jen surprised me with a Birthday party. I forgot it was my birthday, then she gave me a present, her blessings for any job that I'd like to take.

I finally took the offer. We had a big house, life seemed great. One afternoon I went home earlier and when me and my boys went inside, Marley seemed exhausted. He was trembling when stepping on the steps. That night, Marley went missing after I let him go outside. I went looking for him under the rain. I finally found him under a tree, soaked wet. I took him to a veterinarian and she said Marley's stomach twisted. She also said this thing most likely to happen again and that Marley was to old to survive a surgery. I went back home, while Marley stayed there for the night. The phone call I was waiting for came in the morning. Marley's coming home.

Time went by ans everything seemed ok. I even met Sebastian on my way home the other day. He still looked the same n did okay. He was in Philly to cover a story. I went home and took Marley for a walk. One night, Marley slept in front of the fireplace. I slept with him that night. One day Jenny called when I was at the office and told me that Marley was not ok. I went home and took Marley to the vet.

The vet said that it was his stomach again. I called Jenny to tell her about Marley's condition then I stayed there; accompanying Marley. I told him that we love him...that he's a great dog. But as much I wanted him to stay...I had to let him go. The Vet said that the injection won't make Marley feel anything, that he'd just slip away. The moment when Marley closed his eyes for the last time felt like the longest one in my life. I could only stroked his head gently while he's smilingly closing his eyes.

Goodbye Marley, you're the greatest dog ever.

We buried him on our yard. Jen put the necklace I gave her, the one that once was eaten by Marley beside him.

A dog has no use for fancy cars...or big homes or designer clothes...a waterlogged stick will do just fine.
A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb...
Give them your heart and he'll give you his.
How many people can you say that about?
How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?
How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

My name is John Grogan and this story was about Marley and Me.

Whoaaaa....finally I wrote an entry about Marley and Me. A long one I had to say :D
Been meaning to write this...but haven't really got the time to do so...since I was planning to do a bit of movie review as well, hence the long entry.

Watching this movie was not really planned. I watched it with my homies at Blitzmegaplex MOI, since it's the only movie we hadn't watched in theater. It turned out to be exceeding my expectation. I was expecting a light drama comedy with cute dog....but the movie offered a lot of moral messages, esp for marriage life....some I highlighted with bold.

- what makes it work? Put yourself into it. I think this applies to everything...relationship, career, basically everything we do. If we put ourselves into it...it will work. Of course in relationship it takes two (or more) participating persons to put themselves to make it work.

- when we're in a relationship, we must sometimes put aside our ego. As John said...we need to care about what the other person want. We're in the relationship together and this kind of awareness, respect and care are the ingredients for a lasting relationship.

- how many times life turns out not the way we want it to be? awfully lot I guess. Well....I think we all experience that not all of our plans come out as we expected. But like John's editor said...sometimes life has better plan...in a religious view, God has a different, better plan for each and everyone of us. We just need to be wise enough to realize it and adjust ourselves. Like there's a saying...we cannot change where the wind blows, but we can adjust the sail.

- what to do when we have disagreements or fights? are we gonna runaway? are we gonna look the other way and ignore these? or are we gonna try and make it work? try to find a solution that can be accepted by both? I read somewhere that it's not good to sleep when you're having an argument. But I think it's okay, instead of keep arguing with tired minds and short temper...it's better to cool down, get some rest...and perhaps in the morning, with clear mind we realize how silly the argument was...or we can continue arguing, but with clearer mind and better temper.

- consequences. These are the result of a choice we make. Basically that's what life is all about. You must be ready to bear the consequences of each choice you make. They might be pleasant, or not...but it's your life, it's your decision...and they're your consequences to bear. Perhaps sometimes we think we can bear the consequences of the choice we make....but as time goes by, they seem much harder than we had thought before. But like Jen said...she didn't regret making the choice, so we shouldn't either.There must be some positive things that come out from it.

John and Jen were depicted as a good example of what marriage couple should be. They love, care and support each other. They both had similar visions and wanted same things in life. Those were the things that make it last. Plus...they got Marley...the clearance puppy....

Dog....really is human's best friend.

She Makes Me Wanna

2009-07-15T22:30:00.003+07:00

post #363

She... who lights the fire after so long
She... who makes me stutter
She... whom I dedicated all 19 goals today to
She... who makes me wanna

Blue - You Make Me Wanna

To start it off I know you know me
To come to think of it, it was only last week
That I had a dream about us
That's why I am here, I'm writing this song
To tell the truth you know I have been hurting all along
Someway let me know, you want me girl

#:
Everytime you see me what do you see?
I feel like I'm a poor man and you're the queen
Oh baby, you're the only thing I really need
Baby that's why

Reff:
You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light
You make me wanna love,
You make me wanna fall
You make me wanna surrender my soul

I know this is a feeling that I just can't fight
You're the first and last thing on my mind
You make me wanna love,
You make me wanna fall
You make me wanna surrender my soul

Well I know that these feelings won't end, and I
They'll get stronger if I see you again
Baby I'm tired of being friends, oh
I wanna know if you feel the same
And could you tell me do you feel my pain?
Don't leave me in doubt, babe

#, Reff

I'll take you home real quick
And sit you down on the couch
Pour some Dom Perignon and hit the lights out
Baby we can make sweet love
Then we'll take it nice and slow
I'm gonna touch you like you've never known before
We're gonna make love

Reff, Reff

A Song For The Most Wonderful Woman In The World

2009-07-14T21:10:00.003+07:00

post #362

Happy Birthday Mom!
Again I want to spend some time to be thankful for everything, and I mean every little thing that you've done. Your endless love has been an integral part that define what kind of person I am today.
Thank you God for blessing me with such a wonderful woman to raise, nurture, guide and love me.

I'm sure your daughter would like to sing this song for you. Just like me, she loves you so much....
We're sorry if we often forget to ask this simple question.

Mother, how are you today?
Here is a note from your daughter.
With me everything is ok.
Mother, how are you today?

Mother, don't worry, I'm fine.
Promise to see you this summer.
This time there will be no delay.
Mother, how are you today?

I found the man of my dreams.
Next time you will get to know him.
Many things happened while I was away.
Mother, how are you today?

Love you, mom

Darkness Dissected

2009-07-11T00:24:00.001+07:00

post #361

I learn that I cannot make someone to love me. All I can do is to be someone that can be loved.

Heard this quote before?

This quote popped in my mind when I listened to Darren Hayes' song, Darkness...especially on this part:

I am famous for my generosity
They say I am the kindest
But it is easier to
Give than receive love
Give than receive love

Currently it's sitting on my daily playlist along with the unmovable Peterpan...I even didn't remember exactly how did I end up listening to Darren's songs again. Ok anyway, back to the song.

When I heard the lines...I said to myself, why Darren wrote the lyric like this?
Easier to give than receive love??!!
Wasn't it the other way around? First I thought, it's wrong. It obviously easier to receive than to give. I don't have to do anything...just receive...receive...receive....

But then I gave it more thought as I listened for the second time, third time...and so on. Then it hit me....I understood why he wrote that. It IS easier to give than to receive. Why?

1. To give means I'm the active party/subject. I'm the one who take the initiative to do something (give). Since I'm the person doing the action, of course I have full control of myself to do whatever action I want to (in this case, give love)

2. To be given (receive)...I have to make other people to be willing to give. I have to have something that attract/move/motivate that/those other person(s) to give love. I have to be...loveable.

Aha...nice one, Darren. Another great lyric. This song, Darkness, was the first (if I'm not mistaken) from his second solo album, The Tension And The Spark. His music changed in this album not really pop like his previous one, Spin (which I love very much). This song was also the first track on the album. The titles were mostly one word. After Darkness, there's Light, Popular, Hero, Unlovable, Void, Feel, Boy....etc.

The second sentence of the above quote I wrote actually could be written like this:
All I can do is to be lovable

So...I have to have some qualities...virtues that make me lovable. That make me the receiver of love. We often try too hard to be loved by giving love to others (or in the lyric, being generous). We think that if we give love, we receive love as return....what happens when this kind of thinking is rooted in our mind?

1. We prone to be easily disappointed/hurt because we tend to expect something in return. When we don't get the kind of return/response we expected before, we become disappointed. We're hurt.

2. To protect ourselves from disappointment and hurt (basic survival instinct), we start to become selective. We choose the person whom we give love to, the person that we think will give some response, something in return. This makes us insincere. I admit, it's more logical, but if this kind of motivation is the only one we have...I can't imagine what kind of world we live in will be like.

In this song, I assumed that Darren build a continuous story with the other song, Unlovable. Darkness was the person's initial condition. Which with the above part thinks that it's easier to give love. To be generous. But generosity cannot buy love, well...not in the context which this song based on. Later on in the song, we're advised to hold on to love. Love (verb) love (noun) itself.....

You'll discover that the monster you were running from
Is the monster in you

Better to hold on to love
Better to hold on to love
Change will come

That's why I think it's necessary to take a step back and concentrate more on ourselves. What are the qualities we have? What are the things that make us lovable? I sincerely believe that no one is unlovable. There's just gotta be something that worth loving from a person. After all (looking from a religious spectacles), we're all made in God's image, right? Well...God is love.

Darkness

2009-07-09T12:05:00.001+07:00

post #360

Hold on to love...
Change will come...

Darren Hayes - Darkness

Been spending so much time underground
I guess my eyes adjusted
To the lack of light
I got
Covered in darkness
Covered in darkness

Hibernating always waiting for something new
Happiness always ending
In the blink of an eye
There was no one attending
No one attending

It doesn't really matter where it all began
All I know
I got covered in darkness
Covered in darkness
Ever wonder why I never really truly connect
Although my eyes are open
I can hold your gaze
But I am never connected
Never connected

I am famous for my generosity
They say I am the kindest
But it is easier to
Give than receive love
Give than receive love

It doesn't really matter where it all began
All I know
I was covered in darkness
Covered in darkness

Turning pages over
Run away to nowhere
And it's hard to take control
When your enemy's old and afraid of you
You'll discover that the monster you were running from
Is the monster in you

Better to hold on to love
Better to hold on to love
Change will come

It doesn't really matter where it all began
All I know
I was covered in darkness
Covered in darkness

It doesn't really matter where it all began
Cuz all I know
I was lost
I was lost
No, no

It doesn't really matter where it all began no no
All I know
I was lost
I feel lost
Lost
No...

Time...Now

2009-07-07T15:14:00.006+07:00

post #359

It's been quite some time since I last write an entry without really giving too much thinking into it. Ok so here we go. Hopefully this goes as smooth as I thought I'd be.

On Saturday, after lazying for the whole day (I know, I was such a pig)...in the afternoon I went to Eddy's house. His bed just came. Have I told you that this was the Eddy, my friend since kindergarten? News flash (not really new actually), he's getting married next month...in three weeks time. When I thought about it....wow...we've been friends for twenty years, went to the same kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school...even the same university. Thank God we're not working at the same company...or worse...marrying the same woman...lolzzz

Anyway, I borrowed a suit from him. He asked me to be his best man on the wedding reception. It would be my second time being a best man. Perhaps I could make this as a side job...hahahaha...He looked kinda stressed out. I looked at him and realized....again that we're grown up now. Time to settle down, find a girl and if you want you can marry? *quoting Cat Steven's Father and Son. I had to admit there were only few who're left being single. Heck even two of my homies weren't single anymore. Some of them who already married now had become parents. Wowwwwww.....

Time...passed in a blink of an eye...
Time...never waits for anyone, it just keeps flowing...like an eternal river flow

Everything has its time, quoted from Ecclesiastes 3:11....Some of my friends had gone through the phases in their lives, children, adolescent, bachelor/bachelorette, husband/wife...now some had come to the next one....parent. Some chose to skip phase, some took a little bit (or much) longer in particular phase...but again...it's irreversible.

Then came Sunday. As usual (lately), I attended the morning mass. The sermon was good too. The pastor talked about how a prophet never appreciated at his/her hometown. About us, who tend to take for granted the things we're accustomed to have. He gave an example of a person who just bought a motorcycle. First few months the owner loved his motorcycle very much. He really took care of it. When it got a bit of dirt, he washed it. He wanted to make it always shine...but then after that...he became used to the fact that he owned the motorcycle. He started to become lazy....a little bit dirt...it's ok lahhhh....if I clean it now, tomorrow or next week it'd be dirty again...I'll just wait for next week...or the week after that to wash it (that what's the man thinking)...and as time went by...he became even lazier.

What about the persons who were baptized since born? They're used to have the faith....having it like it's just something that they normally have...not as a gift or something precious...something they need to take care....well...normally they would behave like the man in the illustration...that's when the parents should take part in....nurturing them...

Well....that's the point of the sermon I guess...didn't really remember the rest :D
After that....I went back home, went to Gadink, sipping coffee @Dante while chatting with this girl my friend introduced earlier. Then....we gathered @NAV...after...forgot how long :D
Then we went back to Dante....talked a bit about this and that....basically just catching up...One of my homies was asking for a birthday gift idea, for his gf. We ended up helping him in the birthday gift hunting...after looking around in Sogo and other jewelry...he finally found the gift....wrapped it up and we went home....mission accomplished.

Then when I arrived at home...there's a phone call. There were issues that need to be resolved...the team lead was trying to call my cell phone, but it wasn't active. *My battery was dead. So I went online....coordinated with my subordinate...resolved the issues till past midnite....Wow...that's quite exhausting....The good thing was I got to work from home the next day.

The next day...woke up...checked email...went online...no issues....stand by-ing...watching DVDs...no issue till after lunch...took a nap...woke up at around 2 PM because of a phone call , from office...oopssss....:D She called to ask about the training in which I suppose to be one of the instructor. Then there's an email.....issue...luckily it's not too difficult, just some changes. I went online, saw that this girl was also online...when I was about to buzz her, she was one step ahead. She called me and asked if I was interested to join her and my friend watching a movie. Talking about timing, huh? Well....since the issue was resolved...I said yes.

I went there....and we watched Transformers....again.....
*continued on Wednesday
After watching the movie for the 3rd time, I realized that there were some scenes that were cut...and some that weren't there before...or perhaps it's just my mind remembered incorrectly? Well...anyway it's still nice watching the movie again...I reckoned it was mostly because the companion that made it bearable....:D

Time to go home after that, I drove my friend to her home then went back...the traffic was quite awful near her home...it's no surprise since the area was popular for that :D What a lovely (extended) weekend that was. And to wrap it up, there was no more issue after that last one (yeah I checked my email in the evening just to be sure).

Time....one among few things man cannot buy, literally I mean. I cannot, no matter how much money I had, buy an additional 30 minutes of each day in my life....We all bound by the same time span....and what we do with the time we have, determine who we are, who we become.....

Jordin Sparks - This Is My Now

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself

There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end
Baby that was then
But I am made of more than my yesterdays

[Chorus]
This is my now, and I am breathing in the moment
Cuz I look around
I can’t believe the love I see
My fears behind me, gone are the shadows and doubts
That was then, this is my now.

Had to decide was I gonna play it safe
Or look somewhere deep inside
and try to turn the tide
Find the strength to take that step of faith

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
And I have the courage like never before, yeah
I’ve settled for less but ready for more
Ready for more

[Chorus x2]

This is my now

California

2009-07-04T18:18:00.003+07:00

post #358

Love is elusive when you search for it

Darren Hayes - California

I got a cottage with a sea view
I got a regular summer tan
I’ve been working up the courage to call you all year, ohhh
There is nothing I can say
There are no good words left anyway
Besides people are cruel
And the world still moves without you, ohhh

Welcome to my Californian home
You don’t have to call me you can leave when you want
There’s a picture by my bed
There’s a light in your eyes
I don’t know
Well I don’t know
Why you still feel alone

And we were dying from the get go
I was dreaming but you never believed
I was trying to fit myself in the spaces between, ohhh
And you were kind and sometimes cruel
You said all the world’s love couldn’t satisfy you
And nothing could have hurt me as much as the truth
Ohhh darling

Welcome to my Californian home
You don’t have to call me you can leave when you want
There’s a picture by my bed
There’s a light in your eyes
I don’t know
Tell me ‘cause I want to find out
Do you still feel alone?

Love is elusive when you search for it
Don’t I know
Happiness sometimes it just creeps in
Don’t I know
I’m going crazy
I’ve been wondering
Do you still feel alone?

I need to find
Some kind of peace of mind
I need to find

I got a cottage with a sea view
I got a regular summer tan
I know that I deserve more
But I still want you

Welcome to my Californian home
You don’t have to call me you can leave when you want
There’s a picture by my bed
There’s a light in your eyes
I don’t know
Tell me ‘cause I want to find out
Do you still feel?

Welcome to my California
(I need to find)
Even though I’m no good for you
(Some kind of peace of mind)
There’s a part of me still waiting for you
(I need to find)
Welcome to my happy ending
(I need to find)
Even though it’s fun contending
(Some kind of peace of mind)
I know
I know you can’t look back, you can never go back

Welcome to my Californian home
You can never go back
Welcome to my Californian home
I know
You can never go back
Welcome to my Californian home
I know
You can never go back
I know I need to find, do you still feel?

Welcome to my Californian home
(I need to find)
Even though I’m no good for you
(Some kind of peace of mind)
Deep inside there’s a piece of me, there’s a piece of me
Still waiting for you to come home
Welcome to my Californian home
(I need to find)
I know you can never look back, you can never look back again
(Some kind of peace of mind)
But tell me ‘cause I want to find out
Do you still feel alone?
Oh nooo
Do you still feel alone?
Oh nooo

Eulogy

2009-06-30T10:00:00.002+07:00

post #357

Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.

I quoted the above supposedly eulogy from Serendipity movie. It was one of my favorite movies. The first time I saw (and instantly fell in love with) Kate Beckinsale. Reading the above sentences, I can squeeze the essence to these points:
- It's not a matter of how much time you spend with someone, but the quality of the times you spend with him/her
- Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences, there's gotta be something to it
- Destiny

Well, while people around the world still mourning for Michael Jackson, who passed away few days ago, I think it'd be appropriate to write about this now. That's a thing about life. It's mysterious and no one can be certain how his/her life would end. We might had pictured how we'd die, but in the end, the angel of death might come and pick us at the very unexpected time and situation. And that is destiny. How we die...When we die...What cause our death...Where we die...Why we die....Who's gonna be with us when we die....

How can we foresee it? Hmmmm....looking at the signs? Disease perhaps? Bad health condition? High risk occupation? Unhealthy lifestyle? But again sometimes....there's just no sign at all...quoting a bible verse, death came like a thief in the night...undetected. Or in Jonathan Tragger's words..."What if the absence of signs is a sign?"

Just like we fear darkness, we fear death. Like Dumbledore said, "It is only the unknowing we fear in the face of the darkness and death." This went along with Xenophobia. If we ask ourselves...what do we fear from death? The uncertainty of what's next...That's when religion kicked in. It offered consolation to us. It offered answers (though not in explicitly proven way..I mean who have died and come back to tell us his/her experience after this life?) to the very basic questions we have, such as, we are we here? why do we live? where do we go after this? Well I won't talk much about this, everyone has their own perception about religion...it's just my two cents.

Reminded me of Stephen R. Covey book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. In one of the habits, he mentioned about begin with end in mind. He gave illustration about funeral. Imagine we attend our own funeral. How many people would attend it? I guess the number of people who attend my funeral reflect how many lives I touch (in a good way) during my life. What kind of person I would be remembered by people? There were some eulogies that came into my mind. For the sake of examples, let consider that my name is Jonathan Trager.

Jonathan Trager, died last night from cardiac arrest in his residence at suburban area. He's known as a hard working family man, a loving, faithful husband, and a proud father of two. I believe I can say that he has touched our lives, the people who gather here to pay our last respect, in so many ways that words are not enough to describe. There are many people who consider him as good friend, a wise, witty man whom you can always depend on to share some thoughts and ideas, debate them sometimes. Looking all of you here makes me sad and proud at the same time. Proud because I can see how Jonathan had mean something to you. Sad because he, the person that gathers us all here is just lying there, smiling calmly.... He has had heart problem since few years back, but it hasn't stop him from living his life fully. He still seems vibrant and no one can ever suspect otherwise. I'm sure his passing will be a great loss especially for his family, but I believe he'll never be forgotten, not by us. He will forever live in our hearts as fond memories and his legacy which he pass on through the encounters we have with him will also live with us, enrich our lives.
(This eulogy is presented by my best friend)

Jonathan Trager is my hero. He taught me everything I know, the important lessons in life that make me the man I am today, standing in front of all of you. He's a very devoted person to his family, he loved my mom, his wife, endlessly and vigorously. I believe I can say that he's done an incomparably excellent job raising us, his son and daughter, and I really hope that he's proud with what kind of person we become. It's greatly affected by his guidance all of our lives. I still remember the holidays we had when I was a child, the father and son talks during my teenage, and precious advices he gave me. I'm honored that you come to give him the last respect that he truly deserve. It shows that you care about him, and I, on behalf of my family would like to thank you for that. I believe though it's sad, he's in a better place now, watching us,..smiling proudly upon his son and daughter.
(This eulogy is presented by my son)

Jonathan Trager....is a very compassionate man. At times, I wonder why he chose not to have a family. Perhaps in his lifetime, he hasn't found that soulmate he's been searching for. I've known him since kindergarten and I can say that he's a man of principles. He's very determined and commited person. Though he lived a solitary life, if I may say so, he lived it happily. Maybe even happier than some of the married couples I know. This also proves that happiness comes in many forms. Sometimes we, his friends teased him about him being unmarried, but the truth is we all loved him very much. He's dependable and always there when you need to talk, willing to lend his shoulder to lean on, to cry on....He's a true friend..a rare one. I'm sure you all agree with me on this one. He will be missed and remembered deeply in our hearts.
(This eulogy is presented by my friend)

Hmmmm.....which of the three that would be eulogy for me? Or would be another version? One thing that's sure....if I want to be remembered like that, my actions should reflect that kind of characteristic from now.

What about you? What do you think your eulogy would be?

In memory of Michael Jackson....here's a link to Lisa Marie Presley's blog --> He Knew.
Rest in peace, King of Pop....may you find your eternal peace and happiness.

Michael Jackson - Ben

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You've got a friend in me
(You've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there
(Here and there)
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
(Anywhere)
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's something you should know
You've got a place to go
(You've got a place to go)

I used to say, "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
(I used to say, "I" and "me")
(Now it's "us", now it's "we")

Ben, most people would turn you away(turn you away)
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(A friend)
Like Ben
(Like Ben)
Like Ben

Ode To My Family

2009-06-29T14:00:00.001+07:00

post #356

That angry little boy had grown up. He became a cold, skeptical man. He successfully built a thick wall around him, almost impenetrable one that kept him in his cold comfort. He learned the lessons in life all by himself without any guidance from the supposedly figure. He watched enviously as other boys grown up with that luxury he could never had. Sometimes he wished that things had been different...But if it had been...he wondered if he'd be the man he was...perhaps better? bitter? or worse?

As he walked on the street of his life, he sang this song....

The Cranberries - Ode To My Family

Understand the things I say,
Don't turn away from me
'Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn't disagree
D'you see me, d'you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D'you notice, d'you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, where's when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me,
Did she hold me when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I've become,
It wasn't my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am,
But I miss you. I miss
'Cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D'you know this, d'you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, was when I was young
And we didn't give a damn
'Cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me,
Did she hold me when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care , does anyone care?

How long has it been?

2009-06-28T11:18:00.002+07:00

post #355

I won't go...I won't sleep
I can't breathe...Until you're resting here with me...

Dido's voice singing Here With Me accompanied me while I was writing this entry. Life's been good. I took two days off on Thursday and Friday. It felt good just to be lazy....slumbering....eating....browsing...watching movies...Got my hair cut on Thursday, it's kind strange haircut...anyway...then watched Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen...

Optimus really kicked butt here. The fighting scene in the forest was very cool. In terms of plot...so so....as usual there were some illogical storyline fragment, but hey, I watched the movie to be entertain by giant robots kicking each other asses...and the movie had fulfilled my expectation. There were new Autobots introduced (and also new Decepticons). There were some funny scenes (ie, Bumblebee cried when Sam left for college), sad, touching, heroic scenes (and by heroic I meant was American soldiers type of heroism...understandable since it's after all a Hollywood movie). What lack was the signature scene that Transformers 1 (if I may say so) managed to create. Who (this goes out to every male in the world) does not remember the scene where Megan Fox bent over and checked what's under Bumblebee's hood?

That scene really represented Megan's hotness.....*is it me, or is it getting hotter here??? ;p Michael Bay tried to mimicked that scene in Transformers 2. This time, Megan was bent even more on a motorcycle while paint brushing it. But unfortunately it did not succeed, I think. It looked so so...perhaps because the camera was too focused on Megan's ass, thus the audience couldn't see the expression on her face, while in the 'hood scene', there was this perfect blend of the amount skin that was showed, plus the expression on Megan's face. Beside that, the robots were incredible. I love them. I reminisced the days when I watched the cartoon film...and now, thanks to technology advancement, they came in the big screen with such vividness.

Then on Friday I went to Binus to take care some things. I was wowed when I entered Anggrek campus. It changed....a lot. For starter, there's this new building. I used to play soccer on that open space in the afternoon....then there was a parking building as well on the back of the old Anggrek building...I said to myself...woww....parking had always been an issue back then. Now I supposed it's not anymore. Then....there's no more cafetaria...instead, there's A&W....Wow wow wow.....How long has it been? A lot had changed in just 4 years time. Still....there were some things that surprised me, like the student service center location, which had been relocated. The merge between Binus card and Flazz card, the usage of Binus Card for attendance. It's like......*speechless.

I wandered around for a bit. Seven years ago...it was me who had been one of the student there...all those times....zoo class, and other memories swimming in my mind. I got this sentimental feelings. Then I went back home....relaxing and slumbering again.....

Yesterday I went to watch Transformers...again :D This time with some friends. We met at Dante and talked while waiting for the show to begin. My friend who got married last week came with her husband.....my homie also brought his gf and we were like this one big, extended family. I thought to myself....perhaps if all of us already have family...it'd be similar like that...we introduce our gf/bf to our close friends, happy to see them get along well....The question is, how long till it happens? Well....we'll see about that

On my way back, I drove a friend back to her house and she asked me a question that had been asked so many times by other friends. Why? It's surely not difficult for me to get one....Hmmm....perhaps just haven't met that person yet...the one that made me shiver inside, the one that can make my heart jump and beat a bit faster when I'm around her, the one like her who used to make me feel that way.....It takes two to tango and it's sad if the vibe, spark, chemistry whatever you call it, is unreciprocated....Maybe because I want it that way.....there are some other issues that need to be considered thoroughly.

One question that sometimes pop up in my mind... Am I standing still? If yes....comes the 5W + 1H.... What? Who? When? Why? Where? How?

I think sometimes in our lives, we need to ask ourselves that question....

Continuing my previous blog entry....
Yes I still remember...all those times, all those memories...

Spice Girls - Viva Forever

Do you still remember, how we used to be
Feeling together, believe in whatever
My love has said to me,
both of us were dreamers, young love in the sun
Felt like my Saviour, my spirit I gave you
We'd only just begun

Hasta mañana, always be mine

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting like the sun
Live Forever for the moment
Ever searching for the one

Yes I still remember, every whispered word
The touch of your skin
Giving life from within like a love song that I'd heard

Slipping through our fingers, like the sands of time
Promises made
Every memory saved has reflections in my mind

Hasta mañana, always be mine (be mine)

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting like the sun
Live Forever for the moment
Ever searching for the one

Back where I belong now, was it just a dream
Feelings unfold
They will never be sold and your secret's safe with me

Hasta mañana, always be mine (be mine)

Viva forever (viva forever), I'll be waiting (I'll be waiting)
Everlasting (everlasting) like the sun (like the sun)
Live Forever (live forever) for the moment (for the moment)
Ever searching (ever searching) for the one (for the one)

Viva forever (viva forever), I'll be waiting
Everlasting like the sun
Live Forever (live forever) for the moment
Ever searching for the one

Viva forever (viva forever), I'll be waiting
Everlasting like the sun
Live Forever (live forever) for the moment
Ever searching for the one (for the one)

Viva forever, I'll be waiting (I'll be waiting)
Everlasting like the sun
Live Forever (live forever) for the moment
Ever searching for the one (for the one)

Do You Remember?

2009-06-26T11:55:00.000+07:00

post #354

Tell me now...
I do remember, but now it's over....

Phill Collins - Do You Remember

We never talked about it
But I hear the blame was mine
I'd call you up to say I'm sorry
But I wouldn't want to waste your time

'Cos I love you, but I can't take any more
There's a look I can't describe in your eyes
If we could try, like we tried before
Would you keep on telling me those lies

Do you remember...?

There seemed no way to make up
'Cos it seemed your mind was set
And the way you looked it told me
It's a look I know I'll never forget

You could've come over to my side
You could've let me know
You could've tried to see the distance between us
But it seemed too far for you to go.

Do you remember...?

Through all of my life
In spite of all the pain
You know people are funny sometimes
'cos they just can't wait
To get hurt again

Do you remember...?

There are things we won't recall
Feelings we'll never find
It's taken so long to see it
Cos we never seemed to have the time

There was always something more important to do
More important to say
But "I love you" wasn't one of those things
And now it's too late

Do you remember...?
(Do you remember? Now it's over
Do you remember? oooo I'm sober)

Dormant

2009-06-22T14:34:00.000+07:00

post #353

Yup...That's what have been happening to me lately. The busy schedule which gave me only limited time to explore the thoughts that were swimming in my mind plus laziness kept me away from writing a new entry. Well...I guess it's also because I didn't have that something that motivated me, that pushed me to write. Now, I have the urge to write. The urge so powerful that I felt a bit overwhelmed in deciding where should I begin this entry.

First of all, I'd like to thank you..so much...it's been a long time...I thought you might have forgotten me, I thought you might have moved on...as an opening, allow me to present Darren Hayes

Darren Hayes - The Lover After Me

Next....a good friend of mine had officially became a father on the last week of May. Congrats for him. He had started a new phase in his life. He became a husband two years ago, and this year...a son was born to make his life even fuller. It's unfortunate that I hadn't got the time to see my 'nephew'.

The rest of the missing period here was quite dull and like I said earlier, didn't succeed to move me to write. What I'd like to write was about the last weekend. After so long, I finally watched Kristin Laura Kreuk in action again. It's been a while since the last time I saw her and my infatuation had faded away over the time. Eight years almost passed since the first time I saw her in Smallville but she's still lovely and her nose still wrinkled each time she laughed...and yes I still saw her as Lana, instead of Huang Chun-Li.

The day before I also watched Star Trek @eX. Lately eX had been my destination to watch movie. It's the most comfortable theather I ever been to in Jakarta. Star Trek on the other hand was very good. JJ Abrams was remarkable in directing it. Good story, excellent visual effects, and as usual touching moral messages with a twist of humor. It's kinda funny (at least for me) to see Sylar (played by Zachary Quinto) in Heroes...the number one bad guy, became Spock, the most logical, intelligent, non emotional person in Star Trek. Seeing Spock in Star Trek made me think about what a friend of mine used to say, that I was too logical and emotionless....perhaps... I had Vulcan blood? :D

The truth is, everybody has emotions, everybody feels...I guess that's the thing with human duality. We are individual, yet social being....We're logical, yet emotional creature....We're evolving way more than any other species in the world, yet at times we're acting like the most primitive one.

In a higher, more sophisticated thought, I'd like to offer this analogy to capture a glimpse of Trinity. One God, three personalities....how come? Is it even possible? Well...looking at our own paradox, it's not so impossible, right? Beside I believe there are things that are much greater that human, that we cannot cope or try to understand with our limited space of brain.

Ok enough with the heavy one. It's open up for a debate if you like. Yesterday, a friend of mine also got married. I've known her since Elementary school. That's quite some time to know a person. Most of my friends from Jr. High was invited and we had like this little reunion on her wedding reception. Eleven years had passed since we graduated from the same Jr High we attended. Most of us (all) didn't change a lot. Even some friends met another friend whom they hadn't met in years. The highlight of the reception was good MC and her. She looked lovely, as always. I think I never seen her looked unlovely.

Before I went to the reception, I also met a friend whom I hadn't met in... I forgot how many months. It had been over 6 months for sure. It's nice to see her again and we had so much to talk about. So many things to catch up with each other. It's good to know that she's doing fine and her family was well. Too bad we only had limited time since I had to go to the wedding reception.

I met some friends I haven't met in a while on the wedding reception. I had to thank Facebook for reuniting us again. It's amazing how we could find each other through Facebook. It really become a trend here. On the wedding one my my homies half sad, half desperate, jokingly asked....When is our turn? *lolzz....Well....the two others have found a girl and now it's just the two of us, Aquarian guys who still in the market, looking for someone to be the lucky bride :D

After the reception we hung out for a while @La Piazza. A friend mentioned that she wanted to convert to Catholic, an intention which I strongly suggest for her to thoroughly consider before making any decision. Converting is not as simple as changing clothes. When the model is out, or all of your friends have changed their clothing style...would you change yours? It's not about being the same with the flock, but standing up for what you believe in. What you have faith in. Blessings do not automatically fall down from the sky and shower you when you convert.....it might be the other way around. To ensure your motive, to test you. Do not convert for the sake of comfort, or trend, or going with the flow. Be sure that it comes from the depth of your heart.

Here's a song from Savage Garden, I remember the first I ever heard their song was back in 1998, I borrowed the cassette from my friend.

Savage Garden - The Lover After Me

Here I go again, I promised myself
I wouldn't think of you today
It's been seven months and counting
You've moved on
I still feel exactly the same
It's just the that everywhere I go
All the buildings know your name like
Photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world
That didn't want it anyway
So this is my new freedom
It's funny, but I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

And time goes by so slowly
The nights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on
But I'm still holding on for you

Here I go again, I promised myself
I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name 'cause I can't move on

Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me

Scusa ma ti chiamo amore*

2009-05-25T16:24:00.001+07:00

post #352

*Sorry if I love you

That's what she said when we were walking after I picked her from school. She said it with that look on her face that made her even more adorable.

Ok let me start from beginning. I met this young girl one morning on my way to the office. She (in my defense) hit my car with her scooter. As a penance, I had to drive her to her school, since she was late (like I wasn't...). I gave her my card in case she wanted to settle her scooter damage. Work was getting exciting since my boss created a competition between me and a colleague to win a Japanese company account.

To my surprise when I was in a meeting the girl called me. Oh yeah before I forgot, her name was Niki. She asked me to pick her up since her scooter hadn't been repaired yet. Then she started talking about how she got a B+, a mark she never had before. I said to her that I couldn't talk since I was in a meeting with my boss. She kept on talking till finally she had to hang up. I could only sighed.

Short story, I spend quite a lot time with her eventually. Perhaps there's a part of me that needed the companionship after my girlfriend left me suddenly in an afternoon, leaving nothing except a goodbye letter. Perhaps when I was with Niki I felt young again, felt that impulsive actions that teenager do without giving further thoughts. I could swear I almost forgot how it felt to be a little mischievous. Maybe her simple and pure emotions intoxicated me. Not to mention she had the cutest face....

Was this love? Or was it just me trying to find some comfort from another girl since I was dumped not so long ago? Rebound?

I had to admit, her honesty and sincerity swept me away. I gave in to my desire when she visited my apartment and that night we made love. A thing that I regretted on the following day because I was supposed to present an advertisement idea to my boss. And the deadline was at 4 PM. To my utter surprise....she came to my office and brought two drawings. I looked at them and boy they were fresh ideas. A girl surfing with crescent moon as her surfboard. She remembered. She genuinely tried to help me. She touched my life in so many ways I couldn't describe. She brought colors to my monochromatic world.

As time went by I realized that I also fell for her. Her smile, her scent, her laughter...even her quite annoying habit to place her feet on the dashboard...which made her call me Papa, had make mey heart captivated. And one other thing, she inspired me. Though at the end the moon surfer idea was rejected (since the client wanted something more mature), she gave me another inspiration. Watching her sleep peacefully, moved me to take some pics of her which reflected what the client needed...simple, pure, yet powerful to move people...

But unfortunately it's not that easy. There's an age barrier. She's just seventeen, and we're separated twenty years. You do the math. But she's persistent. She even brought a list containing known celeb who happily married despite quite significant age difference.

Life...it went on mysteriously. As I thought I made my mind...out of nowhere my ex girlfriend came back and said that she did a terrible mistake by leaving me. She realized that she loved me and that she was just scared when I proposed her. I was shaken. It seemed more realistic to be with my ex girlfriend, than trying the possibilities with Niki. I was torn between these two.

As much as it hurt me, I decided to choose the more realistic one. So I broke up with Niki. You gotta give it up to woman's intuition. She could see it coming from my behavior. She asked me what's wrong living in a dream when I told her. I said, "It's not real". She was angry, and she had every right to feel that way. She asked me again, "You couldn't find a reason to break up, could you?" I told her..."I don't have any reason to stay"....she left in tears.

Few days later, she saw me having lunch with my now girlfriend ex-girlfriend. She was furious, I tried to talk to her but she snapped and told me that she thought there was something wrong with her. I could see that she's hurt....badly. But I think it's the best for us.

My friends welcomed back my girlfriend. And as time went by...I realized that my relationship was saturated. I missed Niki so much....I realized I made a mistake. And this was clearer when a good colleague forwarded an email...I found out that my girlfriend was actually seeing my other colleague who lost the competition. And she only came back because I won (the loser went to Lugano). I broke up with her (again)...this time for good. She was speechless when I showed her the 'smoking gun'.

I wrote a letter to Niki and gave it to her parents. I knew she was on summer vacation....perhaps also trying to forget all about me. But I'd keep waiting for her on a small island with a lighthouse. It's her dream....few weeks passed...I tried to occupy myself with fishing, but apparently I was bad at it. I kept on waiting.....one day...I heard a car approaching...I ran and finally saw Niki again...she came...

And as we met, Robbie William's song, She's The One played....Oh yeah...I forgot to tell you. My name is Alessandro Belli and this is my story.

Above was the plot of Sorry if I love you (Italian title : Scusa ma ti chiamo amore). One from a bunch of DVDs I bought last week. The cover itself was already misleading since it said French movie. I didn't know why I bought it...I just felt I needed something different, not another Hollywood movie. When I played it....I was surprised to see that it was actually Italian movie....Yippieee...

Michela Quattrociocche was adorable...she was absolutely cute and lively. Raoul Bova played his character well. Though the chemistry between them wasn't really obvious...but it's subtle enough to give hint to the audience.

As you read...the plot was simple...has been told so many times in so many ways. Reminded me of Richie Ren's movie, my wife is 18. Age....is it really a barrier? I don't think it's really is. Perhaps to some people it is...but if both are aware and wise enough to make a decision....it shouldn't matter. I don't know if I could decide the same with Alessandro..but to me, twenty years was too much of a difference. For starter...and fundamental one, there will be very likely a big difference in perspective. Both see, think, and want different things in life. The young one still wants to explore, to know what the world has to offer...while the old one wants to have a steady, no surprises kind of life. I'm not saying everybody will think like this....again wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. If both have similar perspective and want the same things in life...I think they can make it.

For Alex, I guess he has found the one...Niki, she's the one...

Robbie Williams - She's The One

I was her she was me
We were one we were free
And if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

We were young we were wrong
We were fine all along
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna play
You'll be so high you'll be flying

Though the sea will be strong I know we'll carry on
´Cause if there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

When you get to where you wanna go
And you know the things you wanna know
You're smiling
When you said what you wanna say
And you know the way you wanna say it
You'll be so high you'll be flying

I was her she was me
We were one we were free
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
Yeah she's the one

If there's somebody calling me on
She's the one
She's the one

Ascend

2009-05-21T21:52:00.002+07:00

post #351

Ahhh....what a day...woke up late....eating....relaxing and watching new TV serial I got from a colleague (more on this later on)...only to get a phone call from another colleague who's in Taiwan. He called because there's an urgent matter about the program I developed. There's an issue that needs to be resolved asap, as in today because it impacted the UAT process in Australia....darnnnnn

So I rushed to the office, to my surprise there was another person there...working...Well, I had to go to the office because I left my laptop there. Great, holiday and I still had to come to the office? But a man gotta do what a man gotta do, right? I immediately investigated the issue and found what was the cause. It's quite simple actually, but it wasn't foreseen. Issue resolved in less than an hour, thank God, it meant I could go to the church.

Yeah...today's Ascension Day. The day when Christians believe Jesus was ascended to Heaven to sit on the Right side of Father. The sky was dark when I went to church. Not so long after the mass was started, rain was pouring down...quite hard. But it only rained for a while.

The pastor gave an interesting sermon. It's about this life. Our lives. He began his sermon with a common saying we used to hear..."Life is like a drink at a resting area. It's just temporary and not the real/ultimate destination"

Then he continued his sermon, reminded us that it is our nature, human to be never satisfied. We always want more. He gave illustration with a dream house that we might long for. Once we have it, we ~~perhaps~~ surely want something more. We can never really be satisfied with anything in this world. If we have the freedom...we'd have wanted everything....human heart is like an endless well.

Imho, this insatiable desire...wanting more and more on one hand is a good thing. This what makes human evolve, grow...to be better. And again on the other hand, when it's not wisely acted upon, will cause undesirable effects.

Then the pastor continued with asking...why? Why do human can never be fully, completely, perfectly satisfied with everything in their lives? It's easy....because we're all God's creation. We will feel completely satisfied once we're together again with God. I guess that's the message....we're being reminded once again...today Jesus reunited again with Father...thus we should also reunite with Him, where we can find absolute eternal serenity.

The pastor said, continuing the saying we used to hear...what we drink at the resting area (metaphorically life) can affect us. If we drink something that make us drunk...we might not be able to see clearly where we're heading...we might be distracted...side tracked from our real destination....That's why we have to be wise in this life...allow Him to guide our path

For a closure, I'd like to quote St. Augustine's words...in his searching about life...our heart will find peace when we rest in You, God....

Thou hast created us for Thyself, and our heart is not quiet until it rests in Thee

Ordinary People

2009-05-18T16:06:00.005+07:00

post #350

My mind wandered back in time when I heard this song again...after so long. A friend of mine posted the song on his Facebook profile, before the Tokyo Love Story one actually....but it's my prerogative to put this after that one, right? :D

Back to those days, the dorama days...I have my ordinary people...People whose presence I cherish. People who have painted my life with so many colors. Not in just lover's term, like this song was suppose to be interpreted, but in a broader sense...friends, the ones I've grown up with and shared so many pages of my life.

Remembering them always brings this soothing breeze in my gut. Though we're not seeing each other a lot lately, but when we have the chance, we can be very intense. Each of us understand and give as much freedom to live our own lives, but still every once in a blue moon we would hang out together to catch up, to mock, share stories, tell jokes...just spending some quality times with a familiar face we know carved forever in our hearts.

I guess it's true the saying, friendship is a ship that never sinks. Here's to you my ordinary people, my friends!

Fuji Fumiya - True Love ( OST : Ordinary People)
Japanese

Furikaeru to itsumo kimi ga waratte kureta
Kaze no you ni sotto

Mabushi sugite me wo tojitemo ukande kuru yo
Namida ni kawatteku

Kimi dake wo shinjite
kimi dake wo kizutsukete
Bokura wa itsumo haruka haruka
tooi mirai wo Yume miteta hazu sa

Tachitomaru to nazeka kimi wa utsumuita mama
Ame no you ni sotto

Kawaranai yo ano hi kimi to
deatta hi kara
Namida ni kawattemo

Kimi dake wo mitsukete
kimi dake shika inakute

Bokura wa itsumo haruka haruka tooi mirai wo
Yume miteta hazu sa Yume miteta hazu sa

English Translation

I would turn around
And you're always there, smiling at me
Always, like a gentle breeze

You were so dazzling that
I could close my eyes and picture you right there
Turning into teardrops

I've believed in only you
And I've hurt only you
After all, we're always looking for a future
A future far away from us

When I stop walking
And you for some reason would look down
Quietly like falling raindrops

There's no change
Since the day when I first met you
Even if we turn into teardrops

My eyes are only on you
There was no one but you
After all, we're always dreaming for a future
A future far away from us

Dreaming for a future

An Angel and A Demon

2009-05-18T15:34:00.004+07:00

post #349

Whoaaaaaaaaaa.............
That was my impression after watching Angels and Demons on last Friday nite. The invitation came quite last minute in the morning, just before lunch time. I said to Gee I couldn't confirm right away...but luckily the unit I was assigned to was not too difficult. So in the afternoon I confirmed my attendance. Well, the fact that they decided to watch @Blitzmegaplex MOI was also one big factor in my availability, since it's near my home :D

After confirming, it wasn't that smooth. There was heavy traffic jam, as usual, Friday nite...but I managed to arrive there at 8sth PM. Cee, Gee n Jef were already bought the tickets and they wanted to grab a quick bite. I joined them @Wendy's then Harris came along not so long after that. We waited anxiously, (well at least I was quite anxious) then at 9 PM the studio was opened. We went in right away.

Angels and Demons had faster pace than Da Vinci Code. It's more interesting for me since there were some scenes that were taken inside Vatican City... *droool.... Sistine Chapel, Vatican Archive (though I'm not really sure if this was real), and more importantly...churches in Rome....ahhhhhhh so beaufitul. Not only from the sceneries, the plot itself was in four hours period, so the story was quite thrilling.

As usual Dan Brown managed to mix between historical facts and his imaginative minds, blending them in an intriguing story. Heck, now if you go to Paris you can get Da Vinci Code tour. It became a tourism menu. As I haven't read the novel yet, the ending was surprising..well done, Dan Brown. The plot itsef kinda reminded me of Eagle Eye....difference was in Eagle Eye, it was the supercomputer, which was very intelligent and did some thinking for itself. A thing that proved fatal....While in Angels and Demons, it was a person who had gone awry...ermmm...had different, radical perspective.

I guess that's the main idea of the story. A person....he/she can be an angel..or a demon. One cannot be 100% Angel or 100% Demon. There's a bad side (or if you prefer, good side) in each person. There's a composition of these two. Made me remember about Spiderman 3 as well. The tagline was: "The Greatest Battle Lies Within"

Yeahhh...it's a never ending battle for each of us. Every day, every decision we make....it's a battle inside of us. The choices, the decisions we make determine what kind of person we really are...are we an angel...or a demon. When will this battle end? Ermmm...the day we die I guess.

I can guess that there would be a lot of questions following, such how do we know that we make the right decisions? What if we have made wrong ones? Can we amend those?

Speaking of these questions...another question suddenly popped in my mind. Been watching Leverage lately. Just finished watching the first season actually. In one episode, #4 to be exact, titled The Miracle Job...there's a pastor asked Nate (the lead character)...does the end justify the means?

No...God is watching what we're doing, how we doing it...How we do it matters....

Ermmm...I guess this what Camerlengo Patrick McKenna missed and chose a different way....
What about us?

Sarah McLachlan - Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh a beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe
in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here

13 Years Ago...

2009-05-11T16:31:00.003+07:00

post #348

Thirteen years....*phewww... passed so fast...
Yesterday..or the day before, I didn't really remember...a friend of mine posted a youtube clip on his facebook page. It was Fuji Fujiyama - True Love. I didn't know what song it was...but then after I watched the clip I immediately remembered. It was Ordinary People's soundtrack.

Ordinary People(Asunaro Hakusho) was a Japanese Drama (dorama) that was aired in Indosiar..approximately 13 years ago, give or take. I remembered the first dorama that was aired was Tokyo Love Story....ahhhh Rika Akana... the soundtrack was great also. Then there was Just The Way We Are, Anything For You, 101 Proposal..then Ordinary People. I remembered the sequence since I watched them all.... lollzzzz...

Watching the clips, listening to song kinda made me feel a bit nostalgic. Where was I at that time? What was I doing? It brought vague memories, as well as this feelings where life was simpler (was it?)...

This clip reminded me of how cute Honami Suzuki (Rika Akana) was...I believe this was the opening credit for the dorama
I couldn't remember the story...but I'm sure it was great...and the song....I love the song(s)

As a bonus, here's the lyric of the soundtrack

LOVE STORY WA TOTSUZEN NI

Nani kara tsutaerebaii no ka Wakaranai mama toki wa nagarete
Ukandewa Kieteyuku Arifureta kotoba dake

(How should I start telling you? Time passes while I ponder [over this])
(The only commonplace words that come to my mind are disappearing right away)

Kimi ga anmari suteki dakara Tada sunao ni Suki to ienaide
Tabun mousugu Ame mo yande Futari Tasogare

(Because you are too nice, I can't just say to you I love you)
(Perhaps even the rain will soon stop, [but] we are in the twilight)

+ Ano hi Ano toki Ano basho de Kimi ni aenakattara
Bokura wa Itsumademo Mishiranu futari no mama

(If I can't meet you on that day, at that time, at that place)
(We will stay like two strangers forever)

Dareka ga amaku sasou kotoba ni Mou kokoro yuretari shinaide
Setsunai kedo Sonna fuu ni Kokoro wa shibarenai

(Don't be attracted by someone else's sweet talk, don't let your heart waver)
(Even though it's sad, I can't bind your heart like that)

Ashita ni nareba kimi wo kitto Ima yori motto suki ni naru
Sono subete ga boku no naka de Toki wo koeteyuku

(If tomorrow comes, I will love you even more)
(All the love within me will surpass [even] time itself)

# Kimi no tameni tsubasa ni naru Kimi wo mamori tsuzukeru
Yawarakaku Kimi wo tsutsumu Ano kaze ni naru

(I'll be your wings [for you to fly with], and continue to protect you)
(I'll be the breeze that wraps itself around you gently)

Repeat +

Ima Kimi no kokoro ga ugoita Kotoba tomete Kata wo yosete
Boku wa wasurenai kono hi wo Kimi wo dare ni mo watasanai

(Now that your heart has been moved, hold your words and come closer to me)
(I won't forget this day, [and] I won't let anyone take you away)

Repeat #

Repeat +

Dareka ga amaku sasou kotoba ni Kokoro yuretari shinaide
Kimi wo tsutsumu Ano kaze ninaru

(Don't be attracted by someone else's sweet talk, don't let your heart waver)
(I'll be the breeze which wraps itself around you)

Repeat +

Feelings

2009-05-11T14:00:00.000+07:00

post #347

Just got Tyra B - Givin Me A Rush MP3 last nite. After quite some time searching for it. It's one of few songs that I instantly like...Well Ock Ju Hyun - Honey was an exception as well. Just like Honey, I didn't remember exactly how I managed to stumble to Tyra's song. I remembered I was wandering in the Youtube land...then I watched a clip which background song was this song.

Anyway that's not the main idea I have for this entry. This entry, as its titled...was about feelings. Lately I've been digging into TV serials again, after quite hibernation period...last weekend I watched Gossip Girl S02E23 and in one of the scene, there was this dialog between Chuck n Blair. *Have I told you that some of my inspirations came from TV serials, movie, or songs that I watched/listened to?

In the scene, Blair was asking Chuck for a clarification...about his feelings for her. Nate asked her to move in with him (since he was feeling a bit insecure seeing Blair spend quite a lot of time with Chuck)...but Blair needed to be sure about this...about her and Nate...about her and Chuck...Because she felt that after she decided to move on with Nate...Chuck seemed to do about anything to be able to spend time with her. It's like he's not willing to let her go... *It all revolved around feelings, huh? ;D

Blair: Wow, that's the first true laugh I've gotten out of you in a while *after Chuck offered her a coctail
Chuck: Listen, Blair
Blair: No...me first. Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer.
Chuck: I heard.
Blair: Don't you wanna know what's stopping me? (Chuck looked at her intensely) I can't answer his question while I'm waiting for you to answer mine. The one I asked you forever ago...What are we, Chuck?
Chuck: Blair...
Blair: (Interrupted Chuck) Last fall you said we couldn't be together. And I believed you. But everytime I try to move one, you're right there..acting like...
Chuck: Acting like what?
Blair: Like..... (pause) maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are
Chuck: I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy
Blair: Then look down deep into the soul I know you have and tell me if what you feel for me is real or if it's just a game. If it's real....we'll figure it out..all of us. But if it's not...then please Chuck, just let me go...(Blair eyes were watery)
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you (rushing to go)
Serena walked in to Chuck.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her....and I can't make her happy.

Again I'd like to give a thumb up for the music. The instrumental really built the sad nuance in the dialog.

Feelings....
There are sayings, If you really love someone, you gotta set that person free...your love should be unconditional....there are also saying love should be fight for. Why letting go so easily if the one you love is worth the fight?

Like it or not...the older we get...the more logical and less emotional we become. Not as pure as a child, in terms of showing our feelings. Why? Because the world we live in demanded us to. Not only that...but (again I think I have said it before) feelings/emotions can also not always good to be used a based in decision making. Balance between these two is the ideal...but we cannot have it all the time, right?

Quoting Blair,
Feelings never do. They get you all confused. Then they drove around for hours until they drop you right back to where you started.

This where the good common sense comes into play. In Chuck's case....perhaps he'd rather to see Blair happy...though he may not be the one who stand beside her. At the end...it comes to your own experience, judgment, and choice to make.

Maybe it's just my weakness, to see you happy, with or without me
Maybe it's just a feeling I have

Breeze - Just A Feeling

Just a feeling I have,just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
And if you love somebody else,
Will you still pretend you're mine?
Would you leave me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Sometimes I lie awake while your are sleeping
I think of all the things that we've been through
I can't deny suspicious minds,
seeing things that don't exist
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

It doesn't feel the same the way you hold me.
Sometimes you turn away when I kiss your lips.
And if you love somebody else,
will you still pretend you're mine.
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling i have.

Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

There are times when words can take new meaning
And all the sweetest things can sound the same
And there are thousand ways to say goodbye I haven't heard
Would you tell me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have.
And if you love somebody else,
will you still pretend you're mine.
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have
Just a feeling I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling I have
Would you love me like that?
It's just a feeling I have

Gadgets Wishlist

2009-05-08T09:12:00.002+07:00

post #346

Every now and then I'd like to compile a wish list for gadgets that I ~~drool~~ want to have. Two days ago I was surprised to read that Nokia announced a new E series cellphone, E52. It's quite an enhancement to E51, my currently lovely cellphone. Well...without further ado, here's the list

1. Nokia E52
Some things that are enhanced from E51 :
- 'Bigger' screen (2.4" compared to 2")
- 'Bigger' camera resolution (3MP compared to 2MP).. the camera still used fixed focus though, so do not expect the pictures quality will be improved much
- Slimmer (9.9 mm compared to 12 mm)
- 3.5 mm jack (yipppieeeeee)...I can use my sennheiser
- Secondary camera for video call... Nice improvement
- Faster clock processor (600MHz compared t 369MHz)
- Accelerometer
- Longer battery life

Full comparison can be seen here: GSM Arena

Hmmm......this is interesting since I think BB is overrated and E series support push email for Exchange and Lotus Notes...nice...It'd be very nice if there's enhancement for E71...namely E72 perhaps? :D:D:D
In short...this cellphone is worth the consideration

2. Sony Vaio TT
If I have a couple of thousand dollars to be spent, I'd surely go for this baby.
11.1" display with only over 1kgs of weight...bye bye netbook...This baby has enough (more than) enough horse power to do multitask...2 USB ports, 1 HDMI port, optional Blu Ray drive....WOWWWW...talking about spec *drool....
Too bad with such features (plus beautiful design)...comes a lot of money needed...This baby is priced starting from US$ 1999..... about four times of a netbook price which usually falls under US$500. Welll...there's a saying, quality comes with a price...

3. Digicam

Since my current digicam is very very old (four years is old for a gadget, right?). Its resolution only 3MP...Heck there are cellphone that boasts 8MP camera...though the image quality is still in question. But still I think I need to upgrade my digicam, remembering it'll be useful for my upcoming holiday. There are candidates that I have laid my eyes on lately. They are:

- Panasonic Lumix TZ7
10 MP, HD recording, 12x optical zoom
Price as of today @ jpckemang is :
Rp 4.795.000 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (w/SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp 4.479.900 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (Without SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp. 4,480,000 @ tokocamzone

- Panasonic Lumix TS1
12MP, HD Recording, 4.6x optical zoom, water resistant to 3M
Price as of today @ jpckemang is:
Rp 4.765.000 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (w/SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp 4.449.900 via JPC 1 Yr Srvc & Part (Without SDHC 8.0GB)
Rp. 4,450,000 @ tokocamzone

- Nikon Coolpix S560
10MP, 5x optical zoom
Price as of today @jpckemang:

Rp. 2,900,000 @tokocamzone

- Nikon Coolpix S630
12MP, 7x optical zoom
Rp 3.969.900 @jpckemang:
Rp. 3,970,000 @tokocamzone

Comparison of them: DPReview

It's okay if you choose to leave me, honey

2009-05-05T19:34:00.000+07:00

post #345

Forgot exactly what did I do last nite, but somehow I stumbled to this song by Ock Ju Hyun. It's not everyday that I'd like a song immediately,esp Korean, which language I don't understand. But there's something in the beat, the melody, Ju Hyun's face and voice (ahhh she's beautiful), plus some of the words that were in English that intrigued me.

So today I finally managed to get the MP3, translated version of the music video, and the lyric (in both Korean and English)...talking about determination, huh? :D

It's okay if you choose to leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

What's with the mellow, ballad songs?

Credit to ix3sk8rboiz @ soompi.com for the lyric and English translation

Ock Ju Hyun - Honey

genchanahyo~ geu-deh-ga nahl, ttuh-nah-ga-doh
genchanahyo, heng-bohk-keh-yoh, geu-deh man-eun~
sooreh chee-han-cheh-roh, negeh jun-hwa heht jyo
mee-yahn hah-dan mahl-ha-myuh, ool-goh-eessuht-jyo
soh-ree-reul jeel-lyuht-jyo, joo-jyuh ahn-koh-maraht jyo
joon-bee-do moht-heht-dun ee-byul-eh nan

I can't breathe I can't breathe
Geu-dehl jah-bah-doh, soh-yong-ubb-jyo
Tteu-guh-oon mah-eum-ee, cha-gahb-kkeh byun-heh-suh
Boot-jabah-doh dorah-ohl-soon ubb-jah-nah
genchanayo geu-deh-gah nahl ttuh-nagado
genchanayo, saranghehyo, nahl-ttuh-nah-do
nahn, nahn, genchanayo

I say goodbye
ee-jeh-wah-suh uh-ttuhk-keh-yo
nah-tteh-mooneh, ool-jee-mah-yo~
han-bun-man, nahl poom-eh~ ana-jwuh~

TV-reul kyuh-bwah-do, radio teu-ruh-do
ee-byureh jang-myun-kwa~ ee-byureh noreh-ppoon
geu-deh-gah sun-mool-han~ hwah-boon-do da buh-ryut-jyo~
seh sahl-doht-tteut-geu-deh seng-gahk-nahl kkah-bwah

I can't breathe I can't breathe
soom joh-cha, moht-sheel-guht-mahn gatah
joh-gahk-nan-guht-chuh-rum, kkeh-jeen yoori churum,
neh mah-eum-do, buh-ryuh-yah-mahn hah-nah-yo~
genchanayo~ geu-deh-gah nahl~ ttuh-nah-gado
genchanayo, saranghehyo, nahl-ttuh-nah-do
nahn, nahn, genchanayo~

I say goodbye
Ee-jen wah-suh, uh-dduk-keh-yo
nah-tteh-mooneh, ool-jee-mah-yo~
han-bun-mahn, nahl poom-eh~ anah-jwuh~ oh~

uh-dduk-ha-jyo, geu-deh-ubbsheen, guhbee-nah-yo~
han-bun-man-duh, seng-gahk-keh-yo, ah-nee-rah-do~ nan~
heng-bohk-keh yo, geu-deh-mahn-eun

Ock Ju Hyun - Honey (English translation)

It's okay if you leave me
It's okay as long as you're happy
You called me while you were drunk
You cried while telling me you were sorry
I yelled, and I spoke in this crumpled position
I'm not even prepared for this separation yet

I can't breathe I can't breathe
It won't matter if I held on
Because your passionate heart grew cold
Even if I held you tight, you won't come back
It's okay if you leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

Even when I turn the tv on, or listen to the radio
I only see love scenes and hear love songs related to our parting
The flowerpot you gave me as a gift, I threw it away
In case I'd think of you again while starting anew

I can't breathe I can't breathe
I don't think I could take another breath
Like something that's been shredded pieces,
like glass that's been shattered
Must I also dispose of my heart as well?
It's okay if you choose to leave me
It's okay, I'll still love you even if you don't
I'm..I'm..okay

I say goodbye
Now that we're here, what else can I do
Don't cry because of me
Hug me one last time

What should I do, without you I'm afraid
Think it over one last time,
and even then if it's still a no~ I'm...

I'm okay
If you choose to leave me
As long as you're happy

credit: ix3sk8rboiz @ soompi.com

Before It's Too Late

2009-05-05T18:10:00.002+07:00

post #344

What do I want in my life?
What do I need in my life?
What do we need in our lives?

Goo Goo Dolls said it in simple line, which was very deep I think...
"Live like you mean it, love 'till you feel it...A life you don't live is still lost"

So hold on, before it's too late...

This song was actually quite old, almost two years since it's released. It's the soundtrack for Transformers. It's wonderful ballad with great lyric. Enjoy!

Goo Goo Dolls - Before It's Too Late

I wonder through fiction
To look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
I stood at a distance to feel who you are
Hiding myself in your eyes

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

Now the risk that might break you
Is the one that would save
A life you don’t live is still lost
So stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
Nothing is real til it’s gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

So live like you mean it
And love til you feel it
It’s all that we need in our lives
Stand on the edge with me
Hold back your fear and see
nothing is real til its gone

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

Hold on before it’s too late
Or until we leave this behind
Don’t fall just be who you are
It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that we need in our lives

It’s all that I need in my life

The Good Shepherd

2009-05-05T17:55:00.000+07:00

post #343

The pastor gave an interesting sermon last Sunday afternoon. I was quite busy on Saturday due the training (so was my excuse ;D) so I decided to attend the mass on Sunday. On Sunday morning, I was still a bit sleepy n lazy...n I didn't want to make going to the church just some kind of meaningless routine, so I continued my sleep and went in the afternoon.

It was the forth week of Easter, the readings were taken from Acts 4:8-12, 1 John 3:1-2, and John 10:11-18. The bible was about the good shepherd. God is the good shepherd, and pastors were given the same task to herd the sheep.

The sermon was started with a bit illustration about the number of pastor compared to parish in the city. It's not ideal enough. What if there's no regeneration, and the current pastors are getting old? Who will replace them if no one is willing to make that vow of celibacy?

The pastor then talked about his calling. How he wanted to be a pastor since he was in kindergarten. He was amazed by a pastor he saw, in Eucharist, when the pastor spread his arms....he said that the pastor looked so noble. Then when he was in 3rd year of elementary school, he said to his father that he wanted to be a pastor. Time went by and it made him forget his own words. When he was at 3rd year of Jr. High, he was a naughty student (so did hey say) btw...his father asked him about his intention to be a pastor, did he still want to be one. He answered yes, but didn't actually mean it.

But still...he turned out to be a pastor. Then he continued his sermon with asking the parish, who wanted to be a pastor, or sister, or live in a monastery? Or perhaps let their children become one? Anyone who's willing were welcomed to raise their hands....guess what, nobody did. Then he elaborated more about the reasons why we were reluctant to give ourselves in more special way (by being a pastor, etc) to God. We're afraid that we'd lose our freedom, since if we become a pastor, we cannot have a wife, have a family, to feel love.

But he said that it was a wrong perception. Pastor is not a robot, he's a person who can feel love as well. In fact, it's a must so he can love his the parish he's assigned to. Yeah there are some things that he has to sacrificed....but who doesn't make any sacrifices in this world? Who's really free? Married man, a family man has an obligation to his family.

The point (I think) of his sermon was that we all have our calling and that calling needs to be nurtured. Whatever our calling is, accept it...hopefully there'll be enough pastor...not only for the archdiocese, but also for other regions, esp the ones where the parish can only celebrate Eucharist once a year, or maybe once every two years. We should consider ourselves lucky to live in the big city where we can choose which mass at which church to attend. It's very convenient.

It's such a shame for us who have the privilege but take it for granted while there are so many people out there who long for it....

So...I'd like to pray for the regeneration and continuity of the shepherd...and may they really inspired by the one and only, true role model of a good shepherd...
May this one voice heard...well, at least the pastor's voice (when he was at kindergarten) was heard ;)

Billy Gilman - One Voice

Some kids have and some don't
And some of us are wondering why
Mom won't watch the news at night
There's too much stuff that's making her cry
We need some help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

A house, a yard, a neighborhood
Where you can ride your new bike to school
A kind of world where Mom and dad
Still believe in the golden rule
Life's not that simple
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

One voice, one simple word
Hearts know what to say
One dream can change the world
Keep believing
Till you find a way

Yesterday while walking home
I saw some kid on newberry road
He pulled a pistol from his bag
And tossed it in the river below
Thanks for the help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard
One voice was heard
One voice was heard

If You Asked Me To

2009-05-05T14:50:00.000+07:00

post #342

Perhaps...I've been trying so hard...too hard to reach...

Celine Dion - If You Asked Me To

Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said I'd never let nobody in

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you asked me to

Somehow ever since I've been around you
Can't go back to being on my own
Can't help feeling darling since I've found you
That I've found my home
That I'm finally home
I said I'd never let nobody get too close to me darlin'
I said I needed, needed to be free

But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
And let you in my life forever
If you asked me to
I just might give my heart
And stay here in your arms forever
If you asked me to
If you...

Ask me to, I will give my world to you baby
I need you now
Ask me to and I'll do anything for you baby, for you baby

(If you asked me to...)

I'll let you in my life forever

(If you asked me to...)

All ya gotta do is ask me to
All ya gotta do
All ya gotta do
All you gotta do, is ask me to
I'll give you my world
I'll give you my world
Everything, everything baby.

Just ask me to

If you asked me to
I'd change my mind
I'll change my mind

Cool Breeze

2009-05-05T13:24:00.000+07:00

post #341

It's been a while since the last time I saw you...since then I hadn't thought about you, not that I wanted to...but because I think it's what's best for us. I thought feelings would fade away in time. Yeah that's true....but perhaps on some cases, it took more time....much more than I had predicted.

It's just....when I saw you again...that nite...not that I fell again for you...or did I(?)...but seeing you gave my heart a little jump, made me like that adolescent boy who would probably give anything to be there beside you for just a little bit more....it's such a cool breeze which would make me I a liar if I refused to admit. I didn't know what that was...I didn't know what that mean...I didn't know how to think, to act, but I was sure I was pretty clumsy...I just know that it's what I felt...

It's like the sound of leaves that whisper to my ear, calling out your name ever so softly...

Hijau Daun - Suara (Ku Berharap)

Disini aku masih sendiri
Merenungi hari-hari sepi
Aku tanpamu
Masih tanpamu

Bila esok hari datang lagi
Ku coba untuk hadapi semua ini
Meski tanpamu meski tanpamu

Bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
Mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini
Ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
Di tempat ini aku bertahan

*
Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apa kabarnya pujaan hatiku
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Suara dengarkanlah aku
Apakah aku slalu dihatinya
Aku di sini menunggunya
Masih berharap di dalam hatinya

Kalau ku masih tetap disini
Ku lewati semua yang terjadi
Aku menunggumu Aku menunggu

Suara dengarkanlah aku
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Heartbreak Kid Man

2009-04-13T19:18:00.001+07:00

post #340

This is a story about a man. He was 40 year old bachelor. He never married and his father kept pushing him (in a good way I think) to get married. His best friend also said that He should, sooner or later just close his eyes and jump, rather than just checking the water with his toe, or even only look at it.

He ignored them. He thought that marriage is important, that's why he wanted to marry with the right person, Ms. Right. Unfortunately, Ms. Right had never stopped to his store. He owned a sport store down in Bay City, San Francisco. This Valentine, He's attending his ex-fiancee's wedding (oucchhh) and he got the singles table (along with the other kids, which were still single).

After the reception, seemed like fate introduced her to this attractive woman who got mugged after she left a laundromat. Our main character, let's say Eddie tried to stop the mugger, but he failed. But still he got a prize for his valor, an encounter with Lila, the bespoken attractive woman. A week later, Lila came to his store, looking for fleece. Eddie impulsively asked her out and she said yes.

Short story, they hit it off. Then came this surprising news for them. Fate seemed want to play a little games of 'what-you're-gonna-do-about-it' with Eddia. Lila, who was a environmental researcher would be transferred to Rotterdam for at least two years. Eddie who was not ready to give Lila up for two years so in the spur of the moment (about a week) he proposed Lila. He was having a bit of doubt remembering that he'd known her for six weeks, but vigorous urges from his dad n best pal made him pulled the plunge. In his wedding reception, he said he's happy he made the decision.

What's next? Honeymoon of course. They'd be having their honeymoon in Cabo. On the way there, during the long hours of car driving, they got to know each other a bit better. Lila was a living-breathing-radio who sang all the songs from radio. This bothered Eddie. Then they wanted to do different things with their honeymoon. Eddie wanted to explore Cabo, Lila wanted to relax on the beach. But he still tried to adapt. Finally they arrived in the hotel. But not long after that they had their first fight. It turned out that Lila was a volunteer, meaning she didn't have an income.

Lila stormed out of their honeymoon suite (which was lovely). Later Eddie tried to find her, he didn't succeed. Instead he met this beautiful brunette whom he met when he checked in. They made up but again Eddie seemed like out of luck. Lila got sunburned real bad when they were sunbathing on the beach. So he ended up spend the evening alone on the bar. But not for long coz he met Miranda, the beautiful brunette. They had a nice conversation and she invited him to join her family. *She's there with her big family. He got along with the family quite well and ended up back to his honeymoon suite at 4 AM.

One thing lead to another. Since Lila didn't want to leave the room with her sunburned skin *esp on the face, Eddie was spending more time with Miranda and her family. They got closer and he got attracted to her since they were fit, fitter than him with Lila (or at least he thought so). He tried to that he was married and stayed in the hotel for his honeymoon, but he got interrupted in several occasions *I personally thinks he also reluctant, afraid that if he told Miranda, she would freak out and he'd lose his chance to get to know her better...or at least having her companionship

To make a long story short, Eddie fell for Miranda...and vice versa. Trouble was, he still married. So he decided to end it with Lila because he felt that marrying Lila in such a hurry was not the right choice. When he was about to tell her, Lila gave him a little present. A small pillow with a saying, World's Best Husband. Eddie couldn't do it at that time so he decided to talk about it in the morning. Morning came, they had breakfast and Eddie finally said it but in a vague way. Lila misunderstood and to make the matter worse, Miranda's cousins saw Eddie and confronted him. All the time Miranda's family thought that Eddie's wife was murdered (thanks to his lying ability to kids...long story).

Then the inevitable happened. Miranda found out and Lila also got what Eddie really meant that it's over between them. Eddie got stuck in Cabo since Lila burned his wallet, passport, etc. Few months later, he managed to get back into the US. He went to Miranda's home but found the shocking truth that Miranda was already married. He was shocked. Miranda's aunt gave him an advice to let her go if he really care about her. He didn't want to give up so easily. Not until Miranda hear what he'd got to say. He did get Miranda to hear what he had to say but Miranda refused him.

He was heartbroken. He decided to move to Cabo, opened up a sport shack there. One and a half year later, a familiar face came to his store. It's Miranda. She said she split up with her husband. She was there again on a family event. Well....it turned out to be a happy end...

That was the plot for The Heartbreak Kid. Eddie was played by Ben Stiller, Lila by Malin Ackerman, Miranda by the lovely Michelle Monaghan *I got soft spot for brunettes. Well Eddie was kinda jackass since he was already married again when he's in Cabo, but I guess that was just a satire the director inserted. Anyway....watching the movies brought up lots of questions...esp regarding marriage and fate. Eddie said to Miranda, he's sorry he didn't tell her sooner about him being married...but he's not apologizing for meeting and falling to her.

Eddie said that Lord works in a mysterious way. Does He?
Life is about choices and consequences. Marry a person is a choice, the consequence is (for started) spending the rest of your life with that person. Okay.....what if we make the wrong choice? What if we pick the wrong person? Well...you gotta know better and be certain before walking down the aisle, some might say that. Ermmm....how good should I know a person and in how long before I can decide whether I want to spend the rest of my life with him/her? There's a quote I remember....the secret of a person's success is making the right decisions. To be able to do so, experience is needed. To gain experiences....wrong decisions are required. If that so....what if we marry the wrong person to get the experience and get it right the second time around? Or perhaps the worst, what if we never get experience we end up marry once every two year? What happens to once in a lifetime marriage then?
My friend told me that sometimes I can be annoying by ~~asking~~ offering to much "what if.." Well...it never easy when it comes to this, right? One thing I believe, life is about choices and consequences

Sheryl Crow - The First Cut Is The Deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taken almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

How Deep Is Your Love?

2009-04-11T09:35:00.003+07:00

post #339

Let me offer you this point of view (assuming that you are a person who believes in God). Imagine God sing this song to you....

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?

How would you response?

We often ask Him to give something that we want, make things that we want to happen, make us happy and warm. He have given everything for us. He has shown how deep His love for us. Have we ever thought about the other way around?

Let's ponder these questions: How deep is your love? What have you given to Him?

Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?

How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?
How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

And you come to me on a summer breeze,
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show
How deep is your love?

How deep is your love
How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'Cause we're living in a world of fools
Breakin’ us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

Reflection

2009-04-11T09:22:00.002+07:00

post #338

This year would be 10 years. One question I constantly asked myself, have I been a better person since?

How can I tell for sure?
Looking at my reflection....same old face, just getting older, forged by time and life events. Weariness, bitterness, happiness, serenity, wisdom, knowledge....they all carved these soft lines which in time, give or take 15 more years, will become clearly visible as wrinkles.

How about you?
What / Who do you see when you look in the mirror?
Is that someone that you know for sure?
Is that who you really are inside out?
Will your reflection show who you are inside, or will it show a mask you wear to face this world?

Christina Aguilera - Reflection

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart,

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
Whats inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show who I am inside

When will my reflection show
Who i am inside (oooohhhh)

Weekend in Paris Van Java

2009-04-07T19:47:00.001+07:00

post #337

Darkness is falling...
Here I am, sitting, waiting for the sky to get a bit clearer. It's very dark outside, lightnings are striking, yet rain hasn't poured down....darkness is approaching, slowly, inevitably...

That's why I decided to sit down and write an entry after my getaway in Paris Van Java. It's surely better than taking a chance then caught up in the heavy rain along the way. Okay, let's start, shall we?

This year office outing destination was Paris Van Java, aka Bandung (again :D). I wasn't really excited when I signed myself to come. The thing that interested me was the hotel (a new, five star hotel). It turned to be very enriching experience. I really enjoyed every moment of it.

Day 1
We gathered up at the office on Friday morning from 6.30 AM. I went there by cab, then the bus lead checked us all. There were five buses used to take us there. We started our journey at 8 AM, I managed to eat a quick breakfast. There were games along the way. First was tongue tumbler and the second was name the person. My group, or should I say column, won the first game. The trip didn't feel so long though we made a toilet stop. Arrived in Bandung at around 11 AM. We ate lunch at Sindang Reret resto. The food was a bit below expectation, just so so.

After lunch we went to Saung Angklung Udjo. It was raining hard when we were leaving the restaurant, but when we got to SAU, the rain stopped. Then we sat down at some kind of hall. We were grouped by project and I got group #4 (and bus #4 as well :D). Not so long after that, the show was begun. Few people played angklung (bamboo handcrafted instrument) and some other musical instruments. After the opening, two MCs came and hosted the show. One of them was a guy, which I didn't pay much attention to. The other one was a breathtakingly beautiful girl (in Sundanese, geulis teuing euyyyy). She wore red dress which was contrast with the brown long batik skirt. Her long hair made her looked more exquisite. Along with her fair skin, she looked like a goddess descended to earth. Then the show was continued with some kids performance. A kind of dance which was done when a boy was circumsized. At the end of the show, the kids took our hands, the audience to dance together with them (along with the MCs too).

After the show, the MC girl taught us a bit about angklung and how to play it. Then we were given angklung per person and assigned to practice a song which we would perform in group on gala dinner. We got the hardest song, Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You. The difficulties were because the song itself had fast tempo, plus it reached more than one octave while we only had eight tones angklung. Well we practiced our song till the time was up, around 3.30 PM. We then went to the hotel to check in. I never knew that playing angklung could be so fun. The trip began to impress me.

The journey to the hotel was quite fast, we arrived at the hotel at around 4.30 PM. Checked in, got the room key and unpacked my stuffs. The room was great. Soft bed and pillows, nice furniture and good shower. I got the same roommate with the one I had on my trip to Garut few months ago. I took a bath then wandered around. The hotel design was very beautiful. It's like a castle, very impressive. Took some pics then I went back to my room and got ready for the gala dinner.

The gala dinner was started with NJP. The food was standard, but better than the lunch. After the NJP, there were some office updates and a program which was introduced by two expats, one from London and the other from Netherland. After that, angklung performance was the next. There was this incident during sound check. I brought two angklungs and I mistakenly took the wrong one on stage. When we had sound check, I confidently played my angklung which had different tone with the one I should be playing. I stood in the front, played it loud and wrong....the audience burst into laughter the moment I mis-played my angklung. I walked down the stage and got the right one right away.

After the angklung performance, we were entertained by the pros. There were singers from Saung Udjo, complete with the angklung set and other musical instruments. The girl singer was beautiful. She wore this black dress and long skirt. Her shoulders were exposed and she sang well. Wowww....another 'geulis' girl. There were some people who went up to stage and sang, one of them was AG. He also won a folding bike as a doorprize. Lucky bastard ;p. There was few funny moments. When AG was singing, a girl came up to the stage and gave him a flower...the crowd laughed. Then there was this guy also came up to the stage and gave flower to the girl singer. The dinner itself ended earlier than scheduled. Hmmm....nice remembering it usually went the other way.

That beautiful, first day in Bandung ended with a good night sleep on a comfy bed.

Day 2
Woke up at 6 AM the next morning, went downstair to eat breakfast. Had a chitty chat and catch up with an old colleague. Went back to my room to take a shower and get ready for the games. I got group #10 for the games. The game was called LOL (Lembang On Land-Rover). It sounded interesting, and it turned out to be very exciting. We started the game at hotel parking lot. We were the second fastest team who got the game map. Our first destination was Tangkuban Perahu mountain. We need to take three pictures with all of the group members on the spots that were specified in the task. I forgot when was the last time I went to Tangkuban Perahu, but it sure felt nice to come again. We managed to finish the task in no time, then we went to the next destination. There we had to tell folklore about Sangkuriang, not only tell, but also made a short play while a person narrated the story.

After that, we went to the third destination. We competed side by side with group #12. The next task was picking strawberries which were labeled red, green, or yellow. Three of the team members had to pick strawberries with the instructed color label. We managed to get the highest score (which later on was surpassed by another team), 45 strawberries in one minute time. After picking strawberries, we had to make a strawberry juice, without blender. The ingredients given were strawberries, bananas, tomato, milk and lime. The judge was a professional cook. We managed to score a perfect 100 for taste and presentation.

We took a lunch break after that. We ate together, per group. After eating we went to our final destination. It was the last game, we had to move a bucket of water from a side to fill five syrup bottles on a table across. We managed to did it in four minutes time (again, another 4). The second part of the game was feeding cows. We had to feed the cows with the provided grass in 5 minutes time. We had to feed the cows with our bare hands, hand to mouth. We could have extra points if we can take a picture of a team member head to head with a cow. We managed to fed the cows and got the extra points.

After the game finished, we all gather at Cikole camping ground for our Go Green activity (which none other than plant a tree). There was a tent set up for us. There were also some activist that would help us in planting the trees. It was nearing 3 PM and the activist coordinator told us that it usually rain at around 3 PM. After his speech, a woman, more senior than he was came. She was the founder of Garuda Nusantara foundation whose members were volunteers committing in the preservation of trees and jungles. She then sang few songs. Just when she was about to sang her last song, rain came down, hard. She didn't stop and kept on singing. I admired her spirit and determination. Rain was pouring down hard. The coordinator told us that due to circumstances, it's okay if we didn't want to go on with planting the trees. But I think most of us were already excited and willing to go all out. The woman was really good in motivating people.

So we carried on. Group by group, we were guided to spots where we could plant the trees (one tree each person). The pouring rain made the soil wet and very slippery. I brought an umbrella but it didn't help much. Not to mention I shared it with a colleague. We didn't care about the rain anymore. We plant our trees, shoved the soil under the rain. Soaked shirts and pants didn't concern us. I asked one of the activist who guide us and I found out that I planted an avocado tree. It would grow in 6-7 years. Hmmm...I will go back to see the tree I planted. It's a promise.

The planting-tree-under-the-pouring-rain ended the scheduled activity for day two. We went back to the hotel. I took a shower and quick nap. My roommate went back home earlier so I got the room all by myself. Very convenient. Woke up at around 6 PM, we gathered up at the hotel lobby and went into the buses to go the a restaurant for dinner. We ate at Sari Sunda restaurant. The food was getting better, but the chili wasn't hot at all.

After that, we took the bus to go to PVJ. We got separated there and I ended up go to Inul Vizta with only three colleagues since we only got a small room. The others were hanging out at The Pear (if I write it correctly). We sang for two hours and gathered back at the bus shelter. The buses then took us back to hotel. I went to sleep at around 11.30 PM.

It was another amazing day.

Day 3
Woke up at 6.30 AM. Took a shower then went downstairs to eat breakfast. At 7.30 one of the five bus took us the the church. It's Palm Sunday, I wouldn't miss the mass. We went to Karmel to attend the morning mass there. It was beautiful. The chapel itself wasn't too big. We didn't get seat inside and had to sit outside under the sunlight. After the mass we wandered around the chapel and it was very beautiful. It felt different with the churches in Jakarta which usually had plain terrain. We went back to hotel then checked out. I missed the group photo session, but nevermind. Then we went to Arum Manis restaurant to eat lunch and had outing closing. The food was great there, plus the chili was very hot hot hottt...yummy. I ate a lotttttt.

During the lunch, the angklung performance winner was announced. To my surprise, my group won!!! WOW....that's was unbelievable. Yeahhhhh.... then my other group, LOL game group won second place. Yippieeee...too bad I didn't win any doorprize :D. Then the senior executive gave closing speech, and the outing committee played a song using angklung. The song was Heal The World. After that.....free time. We were dropped off at Jalan Riau. Some went shopping, some went buying some food. We gathered back at 3.30 AM and went back home. My bus, bus #5 (I switched bus on the last day) was the fastest to arrive in the city. We didn't make any toilet stop and I slept the first hour of the trip.

And that wrapped a beautiful weekend in Paris Van Java.

This for the lovely ladies....

Lauryn Hills - Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
You'd be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

Pardon the way that I stare,
There's nothing else to compare,
The sight of you leaves me weak,
There are no words left to speak,
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real,
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you,
(musical break)

I need you baby. if its quite alright,
I need you baby to warm my lonely nights,
I love you baby. Trust in me when I say okay,
Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray,
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay,
And let me love you,
oh baby let me love you

(key change)
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you,
You'd be like heaven to touch,
I wanna hold you so much,
At long last love has arrived,
And I thank God I'm alive,
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you,

(musical break)

I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,
I need you baby to warm the lonely night,
I love you baby. Trust in me when I say it's okay

Oh pretty baby, don't let me down I pray,
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay,
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you

I need you baby, if it's quite alright
I love you baby, you warm the lonely nights
I need you baby, trust in me when I say it's okay

(repeat and fades out)

I Turn To You

2009-04-02T16:38:00.002+07:00

post #336

In the spirit of rainy days lately, though it's supposed to be a dry season, well...almost at least.
Continuing my previous entry a lil bit, about how it'd be nice to have someone to share the journey and some might not lucky enough to find such person. We can always turn to someone, perhaps not through our entire journey...but if we learn to open up...we can turn to someone if we need to

When I was writing the previous entry, I reminded of Christina Aguilera song, I Turn To You. If I'm not mistaken, this song was dedicated for her mother....someone she thought she could always turn to....Well, there's someone who we can always turn to, right?

Plus...there's another You, if you get my drift :D

Christina Aguilera - I Turn To You

When I'm lost...in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way
When I'm scared
Losing ground
When my world is going crazy
You can turn it all around
And when I'm down you're there
Pushing me to the top
You're always there giving me all you've got

For a shield, from the storm
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength, to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
I turn to you-ooh

when I lose...the will to win
I just reach for you
And I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
'Cause your love is so amazing
'Cause your love inspires me
And when I need a friend
You're always on my side
Giving me faith
taking me through the night

(Joined by Background Vocals)
For a shield, from the storm
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength, to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
I turn to you-ooh,ohhh

For the arms to be my shelter
Through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For the one who...I can run to...oh
I turn to you

(Joined by Background Vocals)
For a shield from the storm
For a friend, for a love
To keep me safe and warm, yeah yeah
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
For the will to carry on
For everything you do
For everything that's true
For everything you do - ooh oh
For everything that's true
I turn to you...ooh.

Through The Rain

2009-04-01T16:30:00.001+07:00

post #335

I was driving home one day. I went through Kemayoran - Sunter. When I entered Angkasa street, rain started to pour. I went on and passed through Kemayoran. The rain was getting harder there. Though Karen's wiper worked relentlessly, still the rain made my vision very limited. As an illustration, it was kinda like the picture below, a bit better though since I didn't drive at night.

Along the way I saw few motorcycle riders who also tried to go through the rain wearing raincoats. Some even didn't wear any and still trying to move on. Some stopped and waited for the rain to stop under a shelter or any kind of structure, just to avoid being totally soaked up. For me, the rain didn't really matter because I was safely sheltered inside a car. Just blurred my vision a lil bit.

Approaching Sunlake Hotel, the rain was getting lighter. It's just a drizzle. My vision was getting clearer. After I passed Sunlake Hotel, all the sudden the rain got heavier again. But I kept on going because I had a destination I wanted to reach, which was home.

Entering Yos Sudarso, the rain stopped. The sky was clear, and so was my vision. In short, I arrived at home in no time.

Then...
I thought...my journey back home is a lil bit similar with our journey in life...

Sometimes/most of the times we know where we want to go. We know our destination. For some, home represents eternal life in heaven. Well, I believe we all might have our own 'home' that we long to come to. But the journey to get there...not always as smooth as we would have wanted. Lots of obstacles come along the way, some can be cleared right away, some can force us to find another way. Just like the rain that was pouring down on my way home that day. For me who was driving a car, it didn't matter. But for those who were riding motorcycles, or bicycles, or even walking, the rain surely was quite an obstacle.

Don't we find often find some 'obstacles' in our lives? Just like the rain, the obstacles make us weary. They can blur our vision, making us unable to see clearly. Sometimes, they make us wondering, questioning ourselves...Will I make it through these? Can I reach my 'home'? In more extreme situations, they make us drifted away from our destination. They make us lost our way and worst, lost our hope and will to go on. Not to mention if we are walking by foot (compared to driving a car). Plus....if we're walking alone, the ~~rain~~ obstacles will look more unbearable.

That's why we need something to help us get through the rain. A simple example, an umbrella. It helped in keeping us from the raindrops, or perhaps a raincoat. But it won't do much good when a thunderstorm strikes. It'd be better if we ride a motorcycle, at least we can get through the rain faster. Car would be the best compared to walk and ride a motorcycle since it keeps us dry.

Problem is, not all of us have a car. For us who has to walk, it's much much nicer if we have companion during the journey. Someone to share our ups and downs. Someone to lean on for a while when we're tired. In a broader perspective, this someone might come in many forms not just as in spouse. It may come in a form of best friend(s), or maybe just a person who share common destination. Someone we can share a cab with :D. The presence of this someone can help us get through rough times in our journey. They can be the one who remind us about our destination, to lift our spirit when we're down, vice versa. It's such a blessing to find someone who share same perception and destination. Together, the journey we take might seem lighter.

What about the people who walk alone, either by choice, or probably because no one else want to walk beside him/her since nobody share similar perception and destination? Well I think they gotta be strong and keep reminding themselves that the rain will stop eventually. They just gotta keep on moving.

Like the fluctuated intensity of the rain when I went home, it might get heavier, it might get lighter in the middle...it might get heavier again, so heavy that we might think we cannot make it through....but it'll stop and eventually we will reach our destination. Nobody said it was easy....but think about the destination we want to reach, isn't worth the fight?

For those who believe in God, we share a common faith that God will make everything beautiful in the end. If it's not beautiful....it's not the end, so...keep moving ;)

Mariah Carey - Through The Rain

When you get caught in the rain
With nowhere to run
When you’re distraught
And in pain without anyone
When we keep crying out
To be safe
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay
What you say is

Chorus:
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain

And if you keep falling down
Don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

Chorus

And when the wind blows
As shadows grow close
Don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And should they tell you
You’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate
Stand tall and say I

Chorus

I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day, and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes, you can
You’re gonna make it through the rain

Sunday to Sunday

2009-03-30T16:14:00.000+07:00

post #334

Lighter post this time. Just a bunch of things in my mind that I wanted to pour down here.
Last week Sunday (not yesterday) was kinda full schedule Sunday. Met a buyer in the morning, finally sold my last Ipod Nano...yippieee...then went to La Grandeur to eat dim sum with cee, mps, lws n the guys. Arrived there quite on time though I was a bit worried since I left Plangi at almost 12 PM. Met Cee n Uly in Dusit, we went up to May Star together. Not so long after that mps came and the guys came afterward. The food was good, and the price was reasonable. Took some pics and we parted at around 2 PM. I went to MoI to meet up with the guys.

Finally we hung out together again...after more than a month I think. When I was parking Karen, Dvd sent a message saying that he n WW already at Blitz Cafe. I went there, ordered a glass of orange juice then bought the ticket. At first we wanted to watch Push, but it wasn't played anymore there so we bought tickets for Marley and Me instead. Agt came not so long after that. We chatted and asking about how have we been lately.

Then we watched Marley and Me. I didn't expect much when I bought the ticket, but Marley and Me really impressed me. The simple plot but full with very good moral messages. It deserved an entry on its own later on. After watching the movie, we went to Garuda to eat dinner, then went back to MoI. I looked around at Centro for a while then went back home.

Monday was so so. Nothing in particular that I could remember of about that day. So did Tuesday. I guess the thing that quite annoying was my inet connection at home was intermittent, just like Katy Pery's song Hot and Cold...on off on off on off. Came Wednesday, Yoga class....ahhhhh....My body was getting more used to the positions and it felt great. Not so many people attended the Yoga class.

Thursday was national holiday here. It's Seclusion day. It reminded me that a year ago I was in Bali few days before seclusion day. Woke up at almost lunch time, picked mom up from auntie's house then went to pick up R. We went to Senayan City and watched Confession of a Shopaholic. Then we chatted for a while at Oh La La cafe. Drove her back then went home. Then I realized in the morning...I lost my USB flash disk...argghhhh....darnn...I couldn't remember when and where I lost it. I thought I saw it when I put the laptop to my work backpack. I was quite upset since I never lost a USB flash disk before. Well...I guess there's always a first time for everything....

Friday came....I was planning to take a leave, but I canceled since there's this unit that need to be finished. The day went quite fast since there's an issue regarding saving a file into a network folder. Mps invited me to go karaoke at T-Rex, GI in the evening. I said ok. I never went to T-Rex. Went there at around 7 PM. Got some time to look at Nike warehouse sale. Nothing interested me. Watched the show of rhythmic sprinklers (ermmm not sure about this) while waiting for them in front of T-Rex. It was beautiful. I suppose that's the smaller version of Song of the Sea in Sentosa Island, Singapore. Then mps came with jfs. We booked the large room for two hours. The songs were Ok, sound system Ok, GUI....not so ok...well.. happy puppy and NAV were still the best.

Then....Saturday arrived. Woke up early and went to her place, called her when I was in front of the gate. She was surprised to know I already arrived. Bought her breakfast then we went to her practice place. Watched Gossip Girl and we talked...then we went back, picked up two of her friends and went to Mangdu.

My mission was to buy Batik and some DVDs. Managed to accomplish it, plus I got two Superman shirts. Yippppieeeee.... The first one was a coincidence. The last one. It has the same emblem of bleeding 'S like my YM avatar. The second one was black....and to my surprise, when I was looking at the black Superman shirt, a girl called me...she was Shl...I was like....whattttttt???? She was with her friend. And to add my surprise she was just being sworn together with the girls I went with. All of this time, of all the places we could meet...we met at Mangdu....talking about right place at the right time, huh? Reminded me also that the other nite, yn just called me, asking about boyscout thing....

After the shopping frenzy, my friend spent about 750K...*WOWWW we went to EP to watch Dragonball Evolution. We managed to get tickets for 6.30 PM show, perfect timing. In short, the film sucked, big time. If it's intended for children, too many kissing scenes (not just kiss...but kissing passionately) and skimpy dresses. The characters weren't powerful enough to make the story alive, only Bulma that did quite okay. The others were lame. I think this could be the worst comic-to-movie adaptation for the past few years. I just hope Kristin Kreuk's Legend of Chun Li wouldn't suck as much as this.

Went back home then slept like a ~~baby~~ pig. Woke up in the morning, wanted to attend morning mass..but I was still sleepy + lazy, so I attended the afternoon mass. Spent the day by browsing (my inet connection was good again), watching DVD and sleeping...lolzzzz... A busy Sunday was closed by a lazy Sunday :D

Well...that's all for now...Next...the last of four ideas that I had wanted to post...

Heal The World

2009-03-25T17:55:00.004+07:00

post #333

Accenture is going green.
Attended the launch of this campaign few weeks ago. Been meaning to write an entry afterward because the clip that was shown at the end of the presentation was very moving.

Before I continue, are you familiar with this song?

...Heal the world, make it a better place
For you and for me, and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me...

I won't discuss about the singer's controversies....I'd like to focus on the song. I really like this song. Read the lyric, it's very beautiful I think.

Ok...the campaign was intended to build awareness esp for Accenture employees in the country on the harsh fact about this earth we're living on, that we conveniently ignore by looking the other way. The campaign was started with forewords from one of the senior executives. He told some interesting (scary) facts, one that I remembered the most was about this sea current, which was dubbed the great oceanic conveyor belt. In short, there might be a possibility that northern hemisphere temperature drop 5 - 10 degree Celcius. This would be similar to global average temperature at the end of last ice age, approximately 20K years ago. The impact, very difficult to be predicted (but I'm kinda sure that it won't be near good at all). If you think you might not live long enough to experience it, think again since it's believed that this could happen within 20 years. What caused it? The notorious global warming.

There's a full article, which was cited from NASA site. Feel free to read it for yourself --> click here
One thing that surprised me when I read the article was that it was written back in 2004.

Then he ended his forewords with an illustration of a frog. He advised us not to be like a frog. If you put a frog into a pan filled with boiling water, the frog would jump away instantly. But if you put it into a pan filled with water (not boiled yet), then slowly boil it...the frog wouldn't jump, and it eventually boiled along with the water.

Are we gonna be like the frog?? Slowly die because we're adapting...adapting to this broken world which was getting worse each passing day?

Put aside the fact that frog is a cold blooded animal. It's the ignorance that was emphasized.

Next part was about what is global warming, greenhouse effect, wastes, trees that must be sacrificed in making paper, etc. Why do we care about trees? The answer is:
- Greenhouse effect is one of the cause of global warming
- One of the most abundant greenhouse gases is C02 (carbon dioxide)
- Tree is (oh so magnificent) God's handcrafted machine that can process C02 to be 02, a process widely known as photosynthesis

To day, *qouting my SE*, man, despite so many technological advancements, still unable to create a machine which mimics tree's photosynthesis ability.

Let's take a moment to listen to this song, the Earth song

What about sunrise, what about rain
What about all the things, that you said we were to gain
What about killing fields, is there a time
What about all the things, that you said was yours and mine
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shared before
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth this weeping shores?

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
This crying Earth this weeping shores

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Hey, what about yesterday (What about us)
What about the seas (What about us)
The heavens are falling down (What about us)
I can't even breathe (What about us)
What about everthing (What about us)
I have given you (What about us)
What about nature's worth
It's our planet's womb (What about us)
What about animals (What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust (What about us)
What about elephants (What about us)
Have we lost their trust (What about us)
What about crying whales (What about us)
We're ravaging the seas (What about us)
What about forest trails
Burnt despite our pleas (What about us)
What about the holy land (What about it)
Torn apart by creed (What about us)
What about the common man (What about us)
Can't we set him free (What about us)
What about children dying (What about us)
Can't you hear them cry (What about us)
Where did we go wrong
Someone tell me why (What about us)
What about baby boy (What about it)
What about the days (What about us)
What about all their joy (What about us)
What about the men (What about us)
What about the crying man (What about us)
What about Abraham (What was us)
What about death again
Do we give a damn?

After the global warming, the initiatives were introduced. We who attended the session were ~~expected~~ urged to make a pledge, to commit in to do something about it. In overall, the threat to this world is real and imminent. Scary, but true.

It's up to us, me and you to decide...what kind of world we want our children to inherit?
What are we gonna do about it? Be a frog or be part of the change.
Together, we can make a difference.
Start caring for our earth, right now.

For closure, I'd like to share a clip that I mentioned at the beginning of this post.
This clip shows that a teenage girl, aged 13 at the time, speaking in front of delegates at UN Earth Summit 1992 in Rio de Janeiro. She who was at a very young age already had the kind of awareness that most of us didn't have though our age is older...again proving that maturity doesn't always necessarily come with age.

This clip was taken 17 years ago...and it's still relevant now...more than ever actually.
Listen to what she said carefully and if you're still not moved....well...I dunno what to say..

Michael Jackson - Heal The World

spoken:
Think about the generations and to say we want to make it a better
world for our children and our children's children. So that they know
it's a better world for them; and think if they can make it a better
place.

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow.
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares for joyful giving.
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world, make a better world.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race.
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

Bridge:
And the dream we would conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify it's soul
Though it's plain to see, this world is heavenly
Be God's glow.

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel
You are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space to make a better place.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me.
There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me.

You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children